


Johns new roommates

by Tarkemelhion



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, M/M, Tentabulges, Xeno, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-15
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-16 09:08:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 77,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarkemelhion/pseuds/Tarkemelhion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John wakes up in the middle of the night hearing an explosion near his house, when he goes to investigate he finds a crashed space ship with 4 grey aliens in pods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is an edited RP between a friend and me, so there may be continuity errors as its been going a while, I try and catch them as I fix typos and mistakes, but i'm not perfect

John was awoken by a huge bang, he sat up rubbing his eyes, wondering if it had been a dream, but looking out his bedroom window he saw something bright, and putting his glasses on revealed it to be a pillar of flames His eyes widened, he jumped out of bed, putting a pair of his boots on and a jacket over his shirtless chest, he ran out of his small house, heading for the flames When he got there the flames were already dying down, but he gaped at what was CLEARLY a spaceship, he almost bounced in pleasure, but he had too see if there were any life forms on the ship.

As the ship had started shaking Gamzee had grabbed Tavros, holding him close, he could hear Sollux yelling something about gravity or something Gamzee was hoping that Sollux knew how to land this thing, he avoided looking out the windows, not really wanting to see the fast approaching planet

Karkat had given a shriek like a crying grub A sound he would later deny to his dying day Which from the look of things might be sooner than later no one was surprised at how well his voice carried over the sound of red hot atmosphere stripping the shielding off the hull He pushed, snapped, punched and dragged his friends to the safety of their tubes one by one as they were swallowed in red and blue lights Sollux guiding their descent Karkat turned to the last of his friends, intent on driving that idiot to safety if it killed him. He managed only half a step before he was swallowed by blue light His back hit a hard surface and sent stars across his vision Red light closed the tube as he shook his head free of the stars and at last blackness stole away his last expletive as a sleep more powerful than sopor stole his mind away from the world

John got to the space ship, carefully touching where a door had opened, well less opened and more just plain ripped off, the ship had cooled fast so he entered without too much worry, Rose was always telling him that he needed to be more cautious he looked left and right, there were definitely signs that this had held some sort of passengers, where there had been seats were just black husks, he headed for the back of the ship where he saw something that looked like it was lifted straight from a science-fiction movie, giant pods, they were all covered with black dust, and wiping off the first one revealed a sleeping person, they hardly looked alien, grey skin, and oh wow, bright orange horns, there were 4 pods in total, he wondered how he would be able to open them, a little fiddling at the panel, the lights flickered a little, hissing coming from the pods

Johns shoes were rapidly getting sticky from walking around in, eugh what was that? it looked like a light fixture had broken but instead of throwing off a shower of cinematic sparks it serenely oozed a luminescent goo on the floor the goo looked like it was turning yellow or something over by the wall Apart from watching where he stepped this did not seem worthy of note. Though it might be worth tasting later ironically 

Especially not when one of the tubes gave a squelch and something of a tupperware burp as it slid open, exposing its occupant it was still was it dead?

John crinkled his nose at the sticky floor, it was pretty gross, when the pod opened he hurried over, looking inside, the alien inside looked almost peaceful in his sleep, he wondered if he should try and wake it, its chest was definitely moving, but was it the same with aliens?, maybe a monster was going to burst out of his chest or something? he frowned a little "uh hello?" he asked softly, he didn't think that all the goo everywhere was that weird, he'd seen alien movies after all

There was light trying to dig its way through his eyelids he moaned and squirmed in soft objection Oh god consciousness hurts This is the first good sleep he's had in weeks why cant the light just go away? fuck light fuck all forms of luminescence. He was now ready to be blind. Terezi my eyes are ready, take my eyeballs now!, well that might be a little difficult considering Terezi isn't around any more. He tried to ignore the tightness in his chest as he pondered who to kill for this indecency of light and noise! who is this fuckass making all this noise! it doesn't sound like anyone he knows, Wait, fuck!

His eyes snapped open wide and ready for a fight He growls and lunges clumsily at his attacker, Disregarding the tingling sluggishness of half-wakened muscles.

John quickly dodged out the way of the others claws "whoa there, i, uh, mean you no harm" he put his hands up showing the alien that he didn't have any weapons, Hell, he wasnt even wearing a shirt under his warm jacket, and his pyjama pants were blue, he was worried about his alien, he looked a little banged up, well actually that made a lot of sense, he did just kind of crash into a crater.

He stumbled, and slid a bit. For some reason he legs weren't working right he had to prop himself up with a hand to keep somewhat upright as he tries to gather himself. Though was not succeeding well enough to be considered truly intimidating he bared his sharp teeth regardless, making it crystal clear what will happen to the pink squishy alien should he try to come any closer "Great we've been boarded by the emissarys of soft maggotbrained scavenger-beasts, But no problem they're non-violent! Tell you what worm-baby You give me my crew back and I wont redefine the word 'harm' for you, I'll schoolfeed you the new Vantas edition dictionary definition directly into your tymphanal node!!"

John had no idea what this alien was talking about, worm-baby? Vantas? Tymphanal? he really had no clue though its teeth and claws looked pretty menacing, so he stayed where he was "look, uh, mr Alien, i don't really know what you're saying, but your ships crashed near my house, can i help somehow?" he asked, that seemed like the best thing to do, this alien was obviously in some sort of distress

He crab walked his way to the tube and used the support of the structure to pull himself upright, keeping wary yellow and red eyes on John "Just sit the fuck down and don't touch anything" He should restrain this alien but to be honest it really does look rather harmless, Its claws were paper thin and didn't look like could scratch through paper, it's teeth were enormous but flat and blunt, All in all it looked something like a sad imitation of a troll, He moved cautiously to the next tube, keeping one eye on the alien "Where am I?"

When the alien told him to sit John looked at the ground, it was a gross sticky mess, he figured it would be ok to stand, when he was asked where he was he almost jumped to answer "oh, you are on planet Earth" he explained "i didn't think to bring my map when i came out here, but maybe later i could run to my house and get it" he pointed in the vague direction of his house

"Dont you move one finger! I ordered you to stay, what kind of scavenger are you if you cant follow a simple fucking order? I will make your vacuous head-space explode with the sheer force of my rage if you so much as breathe funny!"

Tavros ok Gamzee perfect Kan out like a light  
wait  
the fifth tube remains empty Fuck No just no he starts looking around wildly  
no nonono nononononononono

the unlucky 5th troll was still in the cockpit, or at least what was left of it, by the time the ship had been on a safe path the stasis pods had auto locked, the temperature in the ship had sky-rocketed, until the air itself had been agony to inhale, when everything looked completely hopeless he set himself in the captains seat, he was sure that KK would be mad to see the body in his chair, he let himself have a last laugh as the air felt like magma, when the ship crashed into the planet the cockpit took immense damage, it would be impossible to retrieve his body.

His legs were recovering feeling fast, He only stumbled a bit as he moved to the trail of yellow mingling with the lamp mucus John was forgotten as he followed it to a dead end of rubble "no no Fuck no please be grub sauce, I will give you all of my movie grubs if this is just grub sauce, I will admit you're a better hacker just please please no please" He beat at the rubble a moment with his fists before he slid to a computer, coaxing the sputtering screen to show the security video of the cockpit Or whatever is left of it there was little left to see but there was enough. Karkat dissolved into tears, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen.

John didn't know what to do, the alien had told him to stay, but he had walked off following some of the yellow goop on the floor, he decided to look in the other pods, one had an alien wearing much nicer clothes, the other two containing a very tall troll with a mess of black hair, the last holding a troll with huge horns. the security camera showed mostly wreckage, but there was some fabric on the floor, a big yellow stain was covering a lot, the corpse was buried under wreckage.

He slid to his knees in front of the console trying to stop his trembling he couldn't lose it now. They were lost and stranded, the others still needed him. He wished Gamzee were awake, no this was no time for empty wishes. It would be better if the others were left to sleep until it was safe. He had recon to do and a stupid pink alien pet to deal with He scrubbed his cheeks viciously, unwilling to let the alien see him cry. What was he doing flaunting signs of weakness and a mutant blood color? he was so pathetic he was half tempted to cull himself for the sake of the gene pool. But there would be time for self-loathing later, as he turned back to deal with John and the others "YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM!" A sickle dropped into his hand He would NOT be losing any more friends today.

John turned to look at the alien confused, putting his hands up, he studied his face, his eyes looked kinda red and puffy "look i wasn't going to touch anything!!" he said quickly, not wanting any trouble "i was just looking inside!, you told me not to do anything!!" he said a little stressed, it had a weapon now, a very sharp looking sickle.

He kept the sickle levelled at Johns heart, eyes burning. He circles until he stands between John and the tubes "We're going to your hive maggot beast. You're going to take me there and you aren't going to give me any trouble or I will craft a load gaper out of your chest hollow Understood?"

John blinked very still, he could feel the sickle pricking his chest "but....whats a hive? you mean my house?" he was confused, though he didn't want to say more then he had to, not wanting it to get angry. he wondered about the other aliens, they would be alright in the crater? he assumed so, the grey person didn't seem to be worried, though he just seemed angry

Ur'th huhs all of these alien words sounded like Tavros wrote them. This already portended enough to depress the nubby-horned leaser "Yeah your urth hive Go"

John was sick of calling the Alien 'alien' "can i have something to call you by? you can call me John" he said, carefully edging around the troll, he figured they could talk and walk

He lowered the sickle but kept it at the ready as he followed Jawn no Jon Joohn? Weird "you can call me your imperious and ineffably powerful master! urth John"

John frowned a little "that's a little long, can i just call you Imperious?" he asked, he left the ship, it was a nice night, the moon was large, giving John plenty of light to see, Imperious was following close behind him, his sickle ready, "my house is just over there" he pointed at the small building, it was probably only just big enough for the two of them, he hadn't bought the house expecting visitors

"don't you fucking dare that's just stupid. Is your think pan unable of transmitting the entirety of that information the vast distance to your mouth flaps? or would remembering such large words fill your memory so full you will forget how to work doors? Do you even have doors or do you simply run repeatedly at walls until a structure submits? Well for the safety of your poor fumbling thinkpan I guess I can let you call me Karkat." As they left the ship he turned and did something to the smooth wall beside the door. She ship shimmered and vanished from sight he breathed a sigh of relief, the crypsis generator was still working.

John gaped a little as the ship disappeared, it nearly completely overshadowed that the others name was 'car cat', the now newly named Karkat seemed to be from a pretty advanced species of alien, he decided not to comment on the others name or the now invisible ship "we probably wanna get to my house, i don't really like being outside at night"

"Why? I wouldnt bother worrying about your urth predators, if you're any indication of life on this planet, I'd be more worried I'd die laughing during an attack" ok he has to admit to being a little smug at making the urth John gape Even if the crypsis generator is kind of standard.

John rolled his eyes "I'm actually more worried a random human seeing you, if they saw you they'd probably take you away and cut you open and stuff" John sighed "the government come here sometimes and take anything otherworldly i find, its practically thievery" he huffed, his house looked just as he left it, he was hoping that the spaceship passed by their radar.

Ok That was definitely worrying. Even falling, the ship should have jammed the standard levels of detections, but you can never predict what kinds of backwater technology alien planets posses. And of this government was anything like the imperial court, well being cut open certainly sounds like the court. He swallows, taking in the house with a quick predatory sweep. Squinting his eyes against the harsh light. "Well give me your maps, If anyone is going to sell me over for lucid vivisection I would at least like to know where the fuck I am"

John saw Karkat squinting "is the light too bright? i could get you some sunglasses or something?" he suggested, a lot of his house was all mixed together his kitchen, dining room and lounge room were the one room, he grabbed an atlas, and a book on space, he had all sorts of books on space.

Karkat grunted and went straight for the space atlas. He muttered as he flipped through the clumsy assemblage of star-charts "Last time I checked we were in sector zz9 plural zed alpha " His computer was pulled from this card and to his side, projecting a three-dimensional starfeild in the room He twisted and turned it trying to match the area up with the book "Who is this 'orion' douchebag?"

At last he gave a growl and closed the book with intense care "I found us We are in an unpopulated section of space somewhere between Absolutely Nothing and Nookfuck Nowhere. Just off the meridian of Completely Fucked. Please give me some time to contain my excitement"

when Karkat pulled a computer out of seemingly nowhere John had been surprised, but the 3d model was the coolest thing ever, he leaned down to get a closer look "wait, we arnt in an unpopulated area, the humans all live here" he pointed out, he really wanted to put his hand into the 3d hologram, but he didn't want any of his extremities cut off

"~Intelligent~ species nooksniffer" That and he rather got the feeling that he probably shouldnt mention that any unconquered space was listed on alternian star charts as 'unpopulated'

John snorted "just cause you guys have fancy space ships doesnt mean that you guys are more intelligent, more advanced maybe" John grabbed a chair, sitting on it "so uh, what's your plan?" he was concerned about Karkat, the space ship looked completely impossible to fix, and Johns house wasn't the best place to keep an alien, let alone 4

"You're still useful to me Urth John I wouldn't want to risk shattering your fragile thinklobes with the sheer fucking artistery that is my tactical brilliance. Why do you think I would bother telling some pink alien pet dangerous details of my strategic web? Fuck you. I have a plan. It is the best plan And you dont need to know it"  
Has  
No  
Fucking  
Plan

John had a feeling that Karkat didn't infact have a plan "well as long as it takes for you to put your artistic plan into motion, you can keep hiding out here" he said "and just call me John, please, John Egbert if you /have/ to" he didn't really like his full name, but if it was some alien custom to call people by two names he should probably concede.

He leaned back against the wall glaring at John with a look of suspicion "Why are you being so accommodating anyway?" Probably trying to lull Karkat into a false sense of security before turning him over to the highest bidder, or maybe he would try to suck his brain sponge out through his cartilage nub. ok maybe he was overreacting With those teeth he was more likely a grazer. And those eyes seemed to hold no malice. Kind of surprising for a blue-blood really. Damn eyes that blue should be illegal. Maybe they are, maybe he is a mutant.

John blinked, "well its always been a dream of mine to meet a cool alien. its why i live out here, meteors are a lot easy to find in the flats" he shrugged "and, you seem like a nice enough alien" he complimented the other

Maybe he could relate to Karkat's mutation and they would bond, grow closer "Nice? NICE? Either your think pan is damaged or you need to meet some new people. I'm not just a bloodthirsty warrior I'm a force of fucking nature But I am not 'nice'.” Or maybe not Karkat resisted the urge to pound his head against the wall. Dont mess this up for yourself fuckass "I mean Yeah fucking great I'm all kinds of 'cool alien' " he winced as he said it "I just need to borrow some parts to repair the sheilding and warp drive"

John frowned a little at the other yelling "you need to calm down, really" it looked to him like it would work about as well as telling a bird to stop flying, but he at least had to try "now what types of parts do you need? because i dont think you're going to find anything like your ship on Earth" John really hoped that he and Karkat could be friends, not because he was dreadfully lonely out in the desert, well not entirely, but because Karkat genuinely seemed like a good person/alien, and John was a perfect judge of character.

He pulls up a list of parts on the computer and turns it towards john "this stuff at least, I should be able to rig something I am practically a genious at interstellar travel" Even if he could read the squiggles there the pictures tell him that this is not something he's going to find on earth

John blinked looking at the piece of equipment "i've never seen anything like this before" to John it looked like it was almost an organ? or maybe some kind of living machine he stood up running to a shelf, pulling out his own laptop

Karkat fails to resist the urge to bang his head against his wall FUCKDAMNIT WHY DOES HIS HEAD HURT SO MUCH! He rubbed at his temple trying to stave off the headache as he peered at John's husktop.

He opened up a few websites "i really don't think i can help you, i mean, it looks alot like that part is organic, everything on earth is made of metal and moving parts" he explained, showing Karkat a car engine as an example.

His expression was swept with a mix of pained sorrow and failed stoicism. He was no genius at this. He was bairly able to fix the atmosphere regulator. If there was ever a time that he needed Sollux... Fuck what is he supposed to do now without Sollux? He stared at the screen, long and uncomprehending. Simply not certain what move to make next.

John saw Karkats face go through a range of pained emotions, "i'm really sorry that i cant be more help" he said, his voice ringing with sincerity, he felt this awful pain in his chest that he couldn't help.

He ran a hand through his hair "What about weapons? is the planet armed? We were being followed, so if by some motherfucking miracle we didn't lose them we might be able to shoot them down and scavenge the ships for parts"

"well yeah, i suppose we have missiles and stuff, but are you sure they wont just presume that you all died? i mean, it was pretty lucky that you made it at all" John of course had no idea that someone had died in the crash "and why are they pursuing you?"

Karkat studied johns face, long and silent [yes he can totaly do that when he wants!] shut up what harm could it do? They are all fucked anyway "we escaped we're all criminals on our home planet. Like the guy with the big horns you were looking at, he was pushed off a cliff when he was a wiggler and now his legs dont work. Evidently that's a fucking crime, the punishment is culling. His matesprit bucked the social order and refused to kill, punishable by culling. The woman had her lusus killed and her property stolen, culling, Sol" His voice trailed off

John frowned a little, it sounded like an awful place "i only counted the 4 of you" John commented, not wanting to hurt the other, but he had started to speak without thinking "did something happen to the 5th one?" he couldn't believe that being injured was punishable by death

"He-He was an idiot" His voice was still thick with emotion. If Sollux had listened and just gotten in the tube he would still be alive. If only he would have just listened and not tried to save the ship and possibly all the rest of thier lives. If only Karkat had not let his happen. Rumbling deep in his chest Karkat stood, the brightness of the hive is making his headache worse but his empty stomach wont let him rest So many perigrees of rations couldn't exactly be called 'satisfying' and frankly it's a convenient change of subject to wander towards what appears to be the foodblock

John almost felt his heart break, he stood up, following after Karkat, he grabbed a pair of sunglasses "put these on, the light bothers you right?" he said softly, not wanting to make the other feel worse "did you want something to eat? I'm a half decent cook" he offered

He inspected the sunglasse before slipping them on without complaint, So cool, actually no it looked a mite goofy, but helpful regardless "Hell fucking yes, Anything but dried chitin bars, If I never see another military ration again I can die happy" He sniffs around the strange angular food block what is it with this species and the angles? He picks a pot holder up and gives it an experimental nibble, tearing a bit off with his sharp teeth

Johns eyes widened "uh dont eat that!! please, i will probably need that later" he went to his pantry, he didn't have the most well stocked kitchen, but with how sharp Karkats teeth were he probably wouldnt go wrong with meat, luckily he had bought a few steaks the other day, so he could cook them, he pulled them out "do they look alright? what do aliens even eat?"

"You urth food is revolting!" He spat out a remaining bit of fluff "Dont you have any grubloaf? or at least some maggot-munchies?"

"we have nothing like that Karkat, why don't you look in my cupboard for something that looks appetising, because i might have to take you shopping to get alien food" he pointed the other to his pantry

He started pawing through the cuboard with gusto But none of this food was recognisable. He settled the issue by simply trying a bite of anything he laid his hands on The can of beans hurt his teeth but the liquid it dripped had an interesting flavor The dried noodles were nothing to write home about, the bottle of oil was a definite no. A pile of discarded, 'rejected' food was started somewhere over his shoulder

John tried to catch all the things that Karkat was throwing, setting them on the counter, but he inevitably missed stuff, a packet of salt had spilled onto the floor, along with a few jars of sandwich spreads, he really hoped that he found something, because so far everything in his cuboard was going to be ruined.

A large mess was finally drawn to a halt with the discovery of poptarts. He tore into the box as though he was dissecting a beast he seemed downright excited about the fruity innards of his kill. He also kept a jar of peanut butter with him which he claimed tasted somewhat like grub-paste

John let out a breath as the other seemed to find something to suit his palette, he would have to go and buy more "you sit and eat, i'll clean up all this" he said, making a vague gesture around the kitchen

He looked up from his conquest, lips smeared with the sticky evidence of victory, and blinked at the mess as though noticing it for the first time, for a breif moment he managed a look of perfect innocence, rather like a cat discovered beside a fallen plant, who me?

John started sorting what he could keep and what he had to throw out, he grabbed his broom, sweeping up the salt and flour that was spilled all over the floor, seeing the other looking so cute with pop tart on his face made John want to pull him into a hug, but he didn't want to be bitten, so he reigned his urges.

Karkat quickly reverted to his normal scowl, as the box of poptarts proved to be far too small and he has to resort to licking peanut butter off his palm, wow this stuff takes longer to chew than anticipated after he manages to clear his mouth he digs back into the jar "You know I jammed your communications right?"

John looked at Karkat a little confused, what on earth was he talking about "what do you mean you jammed them?" he asked, he noticed that he'd finished his poptarts, he grabbed another box, tossing it over

Yes! The penutbutter was dropped and the new box became fated to meet a grizzly end, though he paused to scowl at john "Your communication systems! so you cant contact your urth governor to sell me bulgelicker You've been helpfull but don't think I'm gonna let my guard down. Plus it'll make you harder to find if we really were followed"

John blinked "oh right, i should have expected that" he chuckled, not surprised at all "like i'd hand you over to the government, i am planning to have alot of fun talking and stuff with you" John smiled, the alien didn't really seem like that much of a bad guy, he was just prickly

Glaaaares "what in the taintchafeing fuck are you planning on talking about thats so fun? Arent you at least a -little- worried? I could eviscerate you and weave a decorative place mat with your disgusting blue alien innards before you could so much a sneeze. I would think most sensible sentient slime molds would have the sense to be a little afraid"

"my innards are pretty far from blue, is that an alien thing? are your insides blue?" the others insults and barbs just rolling off, John had grown up with the barbs of Dave and Rose, nothing could bother him

Karkat sputtered a moment as john completely missed the point he was trying to wait "Your eyed are blue, you telling me you're not a blueblood? then what is your blood color?"

"nah, i have red blood, all humans are pretty much the same, does that mean you have red blood?" John have him a smile "cause your eyes are a nice colour" he complimented, scooping up what he'd swept into a pan

Karkat backed up a bit Fuck! he had forgotten his rust-colored contacts! being on the ship with noone around but his friends he had gotten out of the habit "Red? Red like a rustblood or red like like my eyes?" His hand lingered near his sickle just in case, and he drew the remaining poptarts protectively to his chest

John peered at the others eyes "pretty much that exact colour" he said looking at how defensive Karkat had gotten all of a sudden, he hoped looking at eyes wasn't an insult or something, maybe he should get Karkat to write a list of things he shouldn't do

He scoffs "Now I know you're just messing with me. Or maybe that's why you're out here alone in this place, you an exile or something?" Why was his head hurting so much

John frowned "why would i lie about something silly like my blood?" he asked "all humans are the same, or well, at least when it comes to blood, i could show you my blood if you want?" he offered, not knowing why it was such a big deal

"Prove it then If you're lying I'll spill enough of it" Karkat fought to keep his hands from trembling. If this were true it meant well he wasn't sure what it meant but dammit it must mean something big.

John wasn't a hundred percent sure about what the other wanted him to prove, so he went into the kitchen, grabbing one of his sharp knives, walking back over, making a show of putting the knife on his palm and running it across, just deep enough to draw blood, the bright red seeping to the surface

He even abandoned the poptarts and peanutbutter to come and take Johns hand. He is gentle, almost reverent It was the first time he's touched the squishy alien and Karkat was surprised at how warm he was. If he held his breath he could feel Johns heartbeat through his fingers, when he breathed the air ghosted over Johns skin as Karkat brought the hand to his face enraptured in disbelief

Karkat looked almost as if he'd had some kind religious breakthrough, like he'd seen a miracle, John felt a little awkward about how Karkat was looking at his hand "so, uh, you believe me?" he murmured, he didn't want to startle the alien

Karkat was shaken from his stupor, he dropped the boys hand almost a little too fast "Its just kind of a weird colour is all" Fuuuuuuck his head he cringed as the pain forced his eyes closed. Maybe he hit his head harder than he thought back on the ship, and all this light probably wasn't helping the fruit paste in his stomach churned warningly.

"are you alright? you're looking a little ill" he said "if you're gonna throw up tell me and i'll find something for you to vomit in" he said, wondering what was wrong with him, was it the air or something? was he going to die because he caught an earth virus already?

“I am not saying you dont disgust me urth Egbert but give yourself a little credit. No I'm not going to be sick I think I'm just tired I've had kind of a full fucking day, nutrition plauteu kinda got crushed under all the sheer amount of shit on it"

"oh well, uh, you can sleep in my bed tonight, i'll take the couch" he said, he was nothing if not a good host "you'll need sleeping clothes?" he assumed, he went over to his clothes cupboard, pulling out a set of pyjamas for the troll

"what the fuck is a bed? and why do you need clothes to sleep in it?" he was already suspicius of this earth trap To be honest he should not even have been thinking of sleep in a dangerous situation like this. But the pounding in his skull and creeping hopelessness of the day had stripped his of argument. Until he got rest he would be useless.

"i'll show you", he opened the door to his bedroom "humans sleep on things called beds, you guys obviously need sleep, you just must sleep in something different" he shrugged, he pointed at his bed, it was kinda messy still from where he jumped up, geez Karkat probably thought he was a slob.

Karkat sniffed around the bed uncertainly it smelled of John, that was pretty nicccccompletelyirrelivant! But it didnt look like such a wonderful place to sleep it was woefully flat and exposed "dont you even have a pile or something?"

"oh, you wanna sleep in a pile? well i can gather up all the pillows and towels and stuff, that should make you a nice pile" John yawned heading to his cuboards, grabbing a bunch of towels, tossing them onto the bed, picking up pillows and putting them on it as well, keeping one for himself

Karkat helpfully added Johns games to the pile, and some of his own movies from his sylladex, some fake arms, a beagle puss even managed to make its way in there somehow In the end the pile looks tall and uncomfortable but Karkat looks pleased with himself "See thats how you use a bed!"

"whatever you say Karkat, if you want to get changed there some clothes here, if you reckon you'll be ok im gonna sleep on the couch" he tossed some pyjamas at Karkat, they were his favourite shade of blue

"Just don't leave the hive" climbing his way onto the bed "I may look asleep but I'll be watching"

"i don't think i'll be moving at all until its at least 12" he rolled his eyes "night Karkat" he said going back to the lounge room, putting his pillow on the end of the couch and just collapsing

Karkat slipped Johns clothes over his own, and collapsed into the pile. He tried to ignore his own inner monologue and force his way to sleep

John fell asleep pretty fast, the couch wasn't the most comfortable thing, but he was sure he'd manage, and he did, falling asleep quickly, hoping that tomorrow he wouldnt wake up and find Karkat to be a dream.

Karkats own sleep was spotty and restless The lack of sopor and stress was taking it's toll. He was plagued by nightmares worse than he'd had in sweeps. Sollux was in his dreams, piloting the ship to his own demise. Suddenly bleeding from his eyes and ears and nose while Karkat could only watch through a screen. Driving them all to some big green orb in space where karkat hoped to find something small and blue but the nightmares were frustrateingly inaccurate. For some reason Terezi was there instead of Tavros. Noone went to the tubes, they just watched No matter how much he yelled.

John had a dream too, though his was a lot more pleasant, he was flying, wearing blue pyjamas and a windsock for a hood, he was flying over fields of white and black, talking to someone he only had ever known through text, grey words drowned everything, and then suddenly, his dream wasn't so fun anymore, he was on a giant golden ship with jade, and he was sad, because he wasn't going to be able to see the friend he'd been looking forward to seeing, he wasn't even able to contact him.

Blue blue The last glimmer of light he was hopeing to find, that he lost his friend for and the blue just wasn't there. Only pools of yellow. Karkat jerked awake for a moment he could have sworn his hair had been ruffled by a breeze. But that was stupid since the ventilation ports were obviously shut.

John didst realise, but his flying dreams was causing a draft to go through the house, he was still deep asleep, he had never got to see his friend, but he was having fun on the ship, he had Jade, and Dave was there too! but he was a giant orange bird ghost, they raced over the ship, they were swarmed by salamanders and crocodiles, they playing games, but that feeling was there, never able to see his grey friend.

"What the inverted fuck?" Karkat dug the shades out of the pile and set off to find the open ventilation port and nail it shut so he can get some damn sleep! But he found only John twisting around in what is he even doing?

The windy powers were swirling around John, messing his hair and ruffling his clothes, he was still laying on the couch though, his powers not lifting him, in his dream John had to use his windy powers to make a giant drill to burrow to the centre of the planet, he summoned a cyclone, the winds around sleeping John sped up

Urth people have unexpected depths! Well there had to be a reason they survived so long, although something nagged at the back of Karkat mind. But as the winds picked up deja-vu drops a few rung in the ladder of 'shit Karkat needs to worry about right now' "John? John!" Still he worried, is one supposed to wake a sleep-flier?

Johns dream shattered as he heard his name being called, he flopped down to the couch, groaning softly "what the hell, why'd you pick me up? i was having a cool dream" he muttered, the winds had stopped the moment that he had woken up, what was Karkats deal, geez.

"I didn't touch you I don't want your greasy mammal secretions all over me. You were flying in your sleep!"

John raised an eyebrow, not believing him in the least "whatever Karkat, if you wanted a hug you shoulda just asked" he said sleepily, flopping back down so he was laying

"I don't want to snuggle you vacuous grubbrained abortion of evolution!I'm telling you you were blowing wind all over the fucking place and fluttering around like a fuckdamned tweetbeast and DONT YOU FUCKING GO BACK TO SLEEP WHILE I"M TALKING TO YOU!"

John pulled his pillow over his face, mumbling something unintelligible, Karkats story was ridiculous, John was the master of pranks after all, and Karkats story barely registered

Will not be ignored! Seeing no alternative he climbed on Johns chest and sat there glaring at his pillow-face

John groaned as Karkat sat on his chest, he pulled the pillow off his face "just go back to sleep Karkat, there's a big ol' pile in my room with your name on it" he tried to tempt the other, but he was too groggy to make a good voice, and now he had an alien sitting on his chest, he supposed it was good he didn't have morning wood

Deathscowl! "You honestly expect me to believe you've forgotten how to fly because you just woke up?"

John gave him a slow blink, and then another "i think you were just dreaming Karkat, i cant fly any more then the next guy" he said, bringing a hand up to rub an eye

his scowl evolved to a snarl "I don't like being lied to, and I don't like being called a liar" His arm drew back, claws at the ready If John had any sort of self-preservation instinct Karkat suspected he might just a breeze out of him or at least a justified look of terror John might even have a moment to ponder his fate before those claws seem to be coming at his exposed throat.

John jumped and grabbed onto Karkats wrists "i haven't lied to you Karkat, and don't you think i'd actually fly around or whatever if i could? as nice as it sounds flying only happens in dreams" he told him, keeping his wrists still

Well didn't get a breeze out of him but Karkat was visibly surprised at how strong John was this alien was full of surprises tonight, Karkat didn't fight Johns grip, he merely glared a long moment "Not gonna hurt you fuckass Just getting your attention"

John was starting to get annoyed "okay Karkat, you have my attention" he said, his face darkening "what do you want me to do? i cant do this windy thing like you keep telling me, I've had lots of people over before, and noone has ever mentioned anything, i was just trying to sleep! for fucks sake" he glared

He growled "Have it your way But there is something going on here and I'm going to find out what it is and until I do I'm keeping a close fucking eye on you" at last he slid off Johns chest, watching him warily

John just gave him a dirty look "whatever Karkat" he rolled his eyes pulling the pillow over his face

Karkat moved away from John, even climbing the stars but he stopped short, staying where he could watch the boy while he sleeps, watching for signs of a repeat performance or at least some sort of clue. It was more than just the windy thing. This boy sparked something inside him that he couldn't put a finger on and it worried him

John rolled onto his side, falling asleep pretty easily, but his dreams of flying didn't come back, the air staying perfectly still

Karkat one again underestimated the human, miscalculating how boring it would be to watch him sleep all day! Despite his best efforts he drifted off in an uncomfortable lump on the stairs, the daylight lulling him to sleep too easily

John woke up a while later rubbing his eyes, the day was probably going to be a warm one, he stretched and then scratched the centre of his chest, looking around, seeing Karkat asleep on the stairs, he blinked, what on earth was he doing there, he hopped off the couch, going to the sleeping alien "hey Karkat, wake up, why are you on the stairs?" he asked softly

Karkat has never been the calmest sleeper, and the day before had been more stressful than most. A surprise wake-up-call was not at all the kindest way to wake. In fact Karkat once again launched himself at the perceived attacker before he was even awake enough to see. While his legs functioned much better than the time before, Karkat had quite forgotten he was on stairs. The resulting tumble was both acrobatic and verbose. Noone warned him!

John attempted to catch Karkat before he hit the floor, he just managed, getting his arms looped underneath Karkats armpits, he let out a small breath "guess i should have warned you huh? but you shouldn't have jumped up like that"

He is saved from a new headache and Karkat instinctively clings to John, glancing around in confusion. How had he gotten here? Oh wait he was watching John wasn't he? He turns to stare intently at Johns face, now only inches away. He's plagued by a sudden unsettling doubt that what he saw the night before had only been a dream, maybe he had torn into John for nothing trying to read the truth on his face lest it be there somewhere in little microscopic text.

John could feel Karkats breath on his face, red eyes locked with blue, he wanted to turn away but it was hypnotising, he felt the slightest burning on his ears, he attempted to set Karkat down, but he was clinging to him, he could feel the lightest prickle of his claws on his back, was Karkat in shock or something? "are you alright?" he asked awkwardly

he scoffed pushing John away as the spell was broken "Just wondering why you felt the need to wake me in the middle of the day!

"well, you were sleeping on my stairs, for one, and for two, this is when i normally get up, or well, maybe its earlier then this, i have to restock my pantry after all" he rolled his eyes

Karkat decided to ignore most of that "Fuck you. Fuck you with something sharp and pointy. It's the dead of day! Don't tell me you're one of those day-bird weirdos"

"ok, so you're nocturnal" he rubbed a hand over his face, damn Karkat was prickly "why don't you just, go up to my room and go back to sleep, i have to go shopping, I'll buy you some more poptarts and peanut butter"

Damnit! Karkat found himself hopelessly torn. Shouldnt let John go alone, yet poptarts. It wasn't an executive leader decision that simply had to be made, he nodded firmly "poptarts" Growled like an order, the effect rather ruined by the trace of a hopeful look.

John smiled at the others hopeful look "I'll buy some other things for you to try as well, you certainly cant live off poptarts" he hummed, "I'm gonna go wash up and then I'll leave, try and get more sleep"

Karkat returned to Johns room, but getting sleep was not on his mind. The few naps that he had caught before had soothed his headache and despite the fuzzy traces of sleep in his periphery Karkat deemed himself ready for duty. As soon as John is safely in the shower Karkat started to dig around for something that might protect him from the sun. He only had to wait till John was gone then he could check on the others.

John showered quickly, getting out he put on a pair of faded blue jeans and a white shirt, he dried off his hair, putting his glasses back on, he assumed that Karkat had done what he was told, so he didn't let Karkat know he was leaving, but he would have surely heard the door close and his car drive off.

Perfect! A quilt served as flawless camouflage in the burning desert and the shades protected his eyes. From the ship he could make certain John would be alone when he returned but most importantly of all, he could assess the damage and see if it was truly as bad as it looked the first time, seeing as how acquiring new parts was going to be a bit of a problem. He filled his head with work so there would be no room for nothing else less pleasant

John drove to the local supermarket, he called it local, but it was still a long drive there, when he arrived he put several boxes of poptarts into his trolley, picking up the stuff that Karkat had destroyed, he started grabbing random foods he thought that he might like.

Its a long job made longer by the fact that Karkat struggled with the diagnostics program. Why was everything just fucking numbers? don't people name things any more? But Karkat found himself encouraged as he translated the numbers one by one, handbook at his elbow the damage to the cockpit is beyond repair, but most of the crucial systems remained intact. He might actually be able to do something here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters might cut off in funny spots, i kinda just put 14-15 pages of text then cut it off

John wondered about the other 3 trolls, when would they be woken up? he grabbed a few bags of popcorn, and grabbing himself some lollies, Karkat mentioned one of the trolls didn't have working legs, he might have to get a hold of a wheelchair or something, he presumed that he didn't have one after the crash, he looked at a jar of pickled onions, he shrugged, tossing them in the trolley.

Though elbows deep in grease and wire Karkat kept one eye on the camera he trained towards Johns house. Thankfully this planet was so flat and featureless a good zoom could see a good portion of the house and the road to it. But after all this time John still hadn't returned. How long does it take to restock a nutrition unit? Worries started bubbling up his spine and into his think-pan what if John really did go to sell him off? or what if John was planning to vivisect the trolls himself and preparing some hideous experiment? or what if John was assaulted by drones and left broken and bleeding and helpless somewhere just out of sight. Where did that come from? For some odd reason, no matter how firmly Karkat told his think-sponge to shut it's idiotic mouth-flap it insisted on summoning new varieties of horrifying scenarios for his consideration.

John had taken a while shopping, wanting to buy a large variety, and it had taken a while to put all the shopping into his car, he had remembered the trolls piles, so he had gone to K-mart to buy blankets and pillows, he head back after several hours, music playing loudly on his radio, he hoped Karkat hadn't tried to burn his house down or something

It would not be his fault if inferior urth structures were that weak and flammable!! As it was Karkat was procrastinating his next task of checking the cooling system and sitting at the end of Gamzees tube. Ranting in a low voice to the unmoving figure within. Ranting and making promises he prays he can keep. A squeaking electronic chitter alerted him to movement on the road his eyes were soon glued to the screen as he watches Johns approach So he's not dead! the inconsiderate phlegm sucker! 

The screen clearly showed John in the car by himself, his windows wound down ,the wind in his hair felt really nice, he was reminded of Karkats silly dream about wind in his house, he scoffed as the car stopped

Karkat crossed his arms and pouted like a child. Nope he's not in the house. Let John worry for a change hmph.

When John got inside hie room was empty, after a moment of worry, he knew the alien wouldn't have run off, he was hopefully too smart for that, he was probably at the ship or something. John sighed, he had wanted help bringing in the shopping, he couldn't go grab the other, so he started carrying multiple bags into his house

Not even a glance? oh what does an urth-monkey know. Karkat turned away in frustration, surveying the mess he'd been carefully working on. It may be wise to wait till evening to make the return trip the heat outside has nearly flattened him on the way in. But it would be even wiser to return in the evening to work at a more sensible hour after he's eaten. That settled he praises his own brilliance as he dons his protective covering and braves the heat to make his way back to John

John was still bringing in shopping when he was a cloaked figure, he really hoped it was Karkat, but he could see the shades, so he assumed it was, he waited until he was closer "hey Karkat, I bought you more pop-tarts" he yelled a smile on his face, he hadn't thought he'd miss the grey alien as much as he had

“John your hideous boiling day-star is trying to kill us both and you hopping around out here unprotected and giggling about miracle food instead of protecting it”

John scoffed "I'm honestly more worried about the ice cream melting. and the sun is pretty bright today isn't it" he squinted up at the sky "but seriously you're nocturnal, and humans are diurnal, we are made to live in the sun and stuff" he looked back at Karkat

"its your evolutionary failings trying to trick you. Don't let your guard down" he retreated into the safety of the shadows muttering unkind things about their solar system before he stops mid-word "ice cream? you have ice cream on this planet?"

"oh yeah, you know what ice cream is? that's awesome!" he bounced on the spot, grabbing the last few bags, "I bought a bunch because it was on sale" he followed after the alien, grinning like a loon

"Your species is forgiven John. I know I'm being over magnanimous here but any species that can still manage to invent ice cream at least deserves a fighting chance to live"

"well I guess that's good news for the human race then" he chuckled, "come inside and I'll make you up a bowl, you look like you're about to cook"

once inside he tossed the quilt aside revealing the terrible mess he made it and himself working in the greasy underbelly of the ship. however he has forgotten all about that in favour of ice cream! already he's hunting through the bags for it

John gaped, they other was absolutely filthy "oh my god, you are not allowed to have any ice cream until you are clean!!" he wanted to grab Karkat, but the oil and other goop that he was covered with made him think twice

Looked downright hurt at that "but you said I could have it"

"well I didn't realise that you had spent the last few hours rolling around in oil!!" he pointed at the bathroom "get your tail in there mister and don't come out until you are clean! I'll get you some clothes"

Grumbles as he stops his way to the tiled room, taking care to wipe a little grease on the wall as he goes. True a rant may be in order to remind John not to talk down to him, to remind him who the inferior one is but if Karkat was really being honest with himself, he needed some ablutions and soon. Once safely behind the door he could even enjoy the warm water huh? just water, well its nice all the same As he relaxes he even starts humming a little despite himself

John ran a hand through his hair, there was a trail of oil on his carpet, and a black smear on the wall where Karkat had decided to rub his hands all over it, this was going to be a pain to clean, he put the ice cream and things that had to be cold away, and then grabbed clothes out his room, just some tracky pants and a shirt, he stopped near the bathroom door, hearing humming, he knocked "I have some clean clothes"

the humming stopped is a small choke he was most certainly not about to sing or hum or anything he as merely clearing his throat "Whatever!"

"I'm uh gonna leave the clothes outside the door, so grab them when you're out" he had a smile, the alien was pretty cute, he put the clothes on the floor, going and grabbing some stuff to clean with

Would object to being given such an insult! is vicious, bloodthirsty, perhaps even ruggedly handsome if you must, but never cute! not even as a grub was he even remotely cute. Already embarrassed he hurried through the rest and slunk out to grab the clothes, provided Johns clothes could even fit him, the kid seemed pretty skinny. Meaning Karkat gets to grumble over Johns freakish height. It's obviously an urth alien thing and has nothing to do with him being short for a troll. Nothing AT ALL dammit

John was wiping at the oily stuff on the wall, luckily it cleaned up pretty easily, he didn't know why he found Karkat to be cute, he was grey after all, and his teeth and nails were very pointy, but he was obviously hiding his adorable nature, John hummed as he worked

Well his adorable nature becomes a little more evident as he slunk out of the bathroom, tugging at his clothes looking uncomfortable and nervously out of place He had to roll up the pant legs and overall he's taken on a somewhat pinkish hue "hey nook-sniffer isn't this worm-thingie your sign?'"

John looked at the shirt, the ghost slime monster bringing back fond memories "nah, though that was my favourite shirt all through my teenage years, I tried to give you clothes I didn't mind you covering in gross oil" he said, giving him a small smirk, Karkat looked pretty funny in his clothes, he was a fair bit more muscles then John, so the shirt was tighter on Karkat, John didn't want to stare too much

Knowing this seemed to relax Karkat a bit. For a moment he worried that in a fit of his human ignorance, John had given Karkat his own sign to wear, disregarding it's intimate implications. Not that he would mind so much, but it would be embarrassing nonetheless he tugged at the sleeves trying to loosen them around his biceps "Now I can pass for ice-cream?"

The pair of them settled down on the couch with a bowl of ice cream, John asking if Karkat enjoyed watching movies, where Karkat went on a long and animated rant to tell him, he did not just LIKE movies, they were one of his passions, and anything that Earth creatures could produce could never hold a candle to the thousands of sweeps of Alternian film

Johns eyes widened at the animated rant "wow Karkat, well I cant admit to having thousands of years of movies, but Earth has some pretty good ones" he said he felt like laughing, but he was sure that Karkat wouldn't like it "what is your favourite type of movie then? I'm sure I could find something good, but really, anything with Nic Cage is great"

“I haven't the slightest emission of an idea of what the flying fuck a 'nic cage' is Some shitty human actress I'm guessing”

John laughed "oh no, he's this super cool actor, he's in all my favourite movies!" he enthused "he's in Wicker-man, Ghostrider, Lord of War and my ALL TIME favourite movie, Con Air!"

“I am beginning to suspect I have psychic powers. I can already sense I am going to regret this. Ok lets watch one of your shitty earth movies John”

Johns grin was so radiant it was surprising that Karkat wasn't blinded "ok then, should I make us some popcorn as well?"

Karkat nodded while hugging his ice-cream defensively, it sounded like grub-corn a bad diet always makes any movie better and Karkat was sure he would need every hair of help he could get

John just nodded, excited to show Karkat one of his movies, he put the popcorn into the microwave, waiting for the kernels to cook "did you wanna pick a movie? or will I pick?" he supposed he should be a good host

He pawed through the movie cases with a look of doubt "Do all earth movies look like this? Where is the rest of the title? how do you tell the good ones?"

"what do you mean the movie titles? there isn't any more, usually you tell if they're good by reading the back" the popcorn was popping loudly

Oh gog reading the back confirmed his worst fears these films sounded like the most mind-rotting drivel he dug determinedly through the piles surely John must have -something- worth watching

John wasn't paying attention to Karkats expression "so did you find anything? I have a pretty good collection right? its hard to pick just one" he took the popcorn out, tipping it into a big bowl

Karkat could only bury his face into his hands and growl something incomprehensible. At last he grabbed something that might have had a glimmer of hope, an actor on the cover who looked suspiciously like troll will smith only a bit more stupid.

"you've picked a movie yeah?" he brought the bowl over setting himself on the couch it wasn't the most comfortable thing but he couldn't afford a better couch

He thrust the case at John, Will Smith and Tommy-Lee Jones flanked some metallic title in cool defiance of impending alien menace. Ready to protect earth with the power of awesome gadgets, witty quips, and bottomless swag

John looked at the case "you really wanna watch a movie where they're kill aliens?" he raised an eyebrow "I guess this is the one you picked" he patted the couch next to him

"Shut up Egbert, you're the alien not me and besides how the fuck and I supposed to know what its about? I cant read your urth-squiggles, how is it you can speak Alternian and you cant even spell it?" but regardless Karkat sat beside John and let him fiddle with the movie. Anything with any version of will smith couldn't be -that- bad

John had completely missed the fact that they were speaking the same language, he supposed it was too much luck for them to be able to read it too, he put the DVD back into its case, settling back onto the couch, his leg brushing against Karkats

Karkat determinedly ignored John's closeness and bit into a handful of popcorn as though it had personally offended him somehow 

The movie carefully outlined Will Smiths job as a police officer and peace-keeper for aliens on earth and his humorous reunion with his ex-partner so they could combat a new and dangerous alien threat to the world. The aliens and humans in this movie coexisted peacefully for the most part, though Karkat seemed frustrated with the dynamic. Karkat complained endlessly about how such a organisation should be run to keep inferior species in line! Though as Karkats attention waned he also became increasingly possessive of the popcorn, only relinquishing his grip during the scenes where Will Smith and his love interest exchanged awkward flirtations

John didn't really mind Karkat talking all through the movie, he'd seen all of them a thousand times, though it was getting annoying that he was hogging all the popcorn "gimme some popcorn!" he whined, trying to reach for the bowl

"Fuck you! my popcorn!" Karkat moves the bowl to his other side, opposite John, silly fight scene on the TV forgotten as he tried to keep it out of Johns reach

John continued to lean over Karkat reaching for the popcorn, he was practically laying in his lap

Curse Johns mutant freakish height! Karkat found he had to lean bodily away to keep the bowl beyond Johns fingertips, and even then only just. As John continued to lean over the trolls lap, Karkat soon found himself practically pinned under Johns warm body and rapidly becoming uncomfortable he rumbled somewhere in his chest as he couldn't stretch the bowl any further his voice had become uncharacteristically small "John"

John huffed at the warmth of Karkat, too focussed on the bowl to realise the compromising position "just give me the god-damned popcorn and ill get off" his fingertips were just brushing the bowl

"Just get off urthmaggot, you're embarrassing us both or is this some sort of human mating ritual I'm unaware of?" Karkat made a point of looking anywhere but at John though is making a point of showing off the new word he's learned from the movie

John practically flew to get off of Karkat "well if you didn't hog all the bloody popcorn, then I wouldn't have had to do that!" he found himself blushing

he sat back up and absconded to the opposite end of the couch. He thrust the entire bowl of popcorn into Johns arms and choose to occupy his arms with a cushion instead glaring pointedly at the screen

John sat at the other end of the couch, looking at all the popcorn, he suddenly didn't really want it, he put the popcorn down next to him, the air suddenly felt suffocating, he got up "look, I'm going to go shower or something, you can watch all the movies you like" he felt really awkward, he'd been laying all over Karkat, it was not the right way to treat someone who just moved into your house, he had said it was some kind of mating ritual, argh

"I thought we were watching your shitty movie?" crap! had obviously disgusted John, the male was so repulsed by the implications Karkat had made that he was being forced to the ablution block to empty his stomach contents. And after the human had let him stay in his hive as a guest, even kept him secret. What had Karkat been thinking!? Idiot idiot! "well whatever.. Do what you want" He scowled at the screen harder

John blinked at the others outburst, not knowing what he did wrong, surely Karkat didn't want to see him after he was laying all over him, giving Karkat all the wrong ideas, he slowly sat back down "look, it wasn't a mating ritual I was just playing around I guess, I didn't meant to lay on you like that, you probably don't like people in your personal space" he was sure he sounded like the biggest idiot

“I have already come to grips with your complete lack of social competency urth human Egbert. And while I may not enjoy you making a game of rubbing on me like a newly pubescent bark-beast, I'm not gonna kick you for mental disabilities that you cant help No fucking point to it”

John bit his lip "if you had of just shared the popcorn it wouldn't have happened" he flopped backwards, eyes going back to the movie "though I will have to shower afterwards, got all your alien germs on me" he joked

Karkat began to relax, if John was joking then perhaps it was ok, maybe they hadn't ruined their friendship in one fell swoop "I wouldn't be surprised if your puny immune system was too weak to handle the most basic and beneficial of Alternian micro-organisms, like if you were even able to travel the immense distances to get to a new planet on your pedal-machine of a transport device you'd show up to conquer the new planet only to be defeated the moment you opened your hatches because some rot-panned bulge-licker who planned this out forgot to check if your weak pink bodies were at all susceptible to the common fucking cold, I mean what kind of idiot doesn't even create a immunisation booster against the local, potentially fatal, micro fauna before interacting with a new species?"

John looked at him a little confused, understanding dawned on him "ohhh, so does that mean you had shots or something before coming here? so you don't catch a cold and die? oh man, its just like in that movie!" he said excitedly

"Of course! what kind of moron do you take me for?" he crossed his arms gruffly, looking anywhere but at John should his blatant lie deflate around him. Fuck! he's going to die of some stupid alien illness! Just his luck, just his life. He would have to take some samples to make sure the others would be safe. It would have been ideal to get a more global sample to create a booster from, but once they left orbit they had lost that opportunity. He would have to work with whatever he had on hand and hope he wouldn't need to travel too far. Maybe just this once he could luck out and not die of human flesh rot.

"haha you're right, I mean, it'd be pretty silly, my friend jade spent her whole life living on an island pretty much by herself, but when she came over she caught the WORST case of chicken pox, I mean, you cannot believe how sick she was"

His eyes widened a bit "chicken pox? like a cluck-beast disease?" his imagination conjured many a horrible outcomes for such an unfortunately named illness he fought a shudder "is it deadly?"

John laughed, he could prank Karkat pretty bad, but he looked honestly worried "well if you believe her she thought she was dying, but I'm pretty sure that dying from chicken pox is really really rare" he said 

"If its not deadly it's not worth whining about" He may have said that now but if Sollux were there he would have called Karkat on such a blatant lie so quickly. One little troll flu always left Karkat rolling around in a pathetic and helpless state that necessitated enormous amounts of cuddles and laborious doting "Its yourself you really should worry about, you really do have alien germs on you, remember?"

John frowned, looking down at himself, "I guess you're right, I better shower or something" he wasn't really that worried, his immune system was pretty good after all, he stood up again "I'm gonna shower, I'm sure you can find something to do while I wash your alien germs off or whatever, although, maybe I should lick you? get a large dose, then just fight my way through the disease"

"Ugh! keep your slimy alien digestive nub off me" Karkat recoils "If you were going to get infected you would be by now anyway dumbass. I don't need another Terezi!"

"pfft whatever Karkat" he rolled his eyes "who's Terezi? she isn't one of the trolls that came with you right?"

Karkat squirmed a bit "nah, she is blind but they wouldn't try to cull her. She's the legislacerators golden girl, she can sniff out crime like a damned woof-beast. We used to be close, when we were young. She'd always be slobbering all over me going on about how good I tasted. Fucking disgusting" And totally not hot at all nope nope

John didn't really understand the terms that Karkat was using, it sounded like Karkat and her had a thing, he couldn't not point it out "sooo, did you two date?" he asked, raising an eyebrow

Karkat rolled his eyes "Hard to tell when a girl tries to lick your fucking face off you'd think that'd signal a bit of interest. She even led me on a bit but we never got that far. In the end she just wasn't interested in me that way, no matter what I did for her. But I can understand I was kind of a douche back then" As opposed to now

John listened to the others tale, "well, that's a shame I guess, I totally had a huge crush on my friend Rose, but it was kinda funny and short-lived" he didn't really want to relive those days, he had been completely smitten, and it had ended with them dating for about a week, before they realised being friends was better

Strangely this seemed to catch his interest as Karkat studied him "What happened?"

John sighed a little "well I was a fair bit younger, around 14 or 15, and I dunno, we had been talking over the internet for years and years, and I guess I was just so sure that we were meant to be together" he laughed a little, he wasn't really sore about it any more "and well, I didn't notice it at the time, but she had been avoiding me I guess? and when I finally asked her out, well, we dated like, a week before she told me that we were better off as friends, and that she would never go on a date with me again, it was pretty damn harsh on my poor 15 year old heart"

He listened closely, watching Johns face "Well it may seem harsh, but it sounds better than any of the alternatives. If she didn't have any flushed feelings for you it would have been cruel of her to drag things out and let you get more and more attached. Turning you down would be a clean break. Yeah it would hurt but it could heal and still preserve your friendship. Trust me unstable and reciprocated relationships aren't worth the pain" Has gone one for ages without saying fuck once? maybe he was sick after all "Besides you don't seem completely useless, you'll be able to find the perfect someones in time. There is someone out there fated for you, someone who is your perfect matesprit. Sometimes it just takes a bit of patience to find that person"

John let out a small sigh, listening as the other talked, everything he said was true, when the said that he wasn't useless John took it to heart, "thanks Karkat, I hope I find my someone who's perfect for me" he gave him a small smile "seems like everyone I try to date just leaves" Johns voice had gone quiet, he had been in a few bad relationships, and it left a bit of a bad taste in his mouth "but anyway" he shook his head "I shouldn't be thinking about dating at the moment, I gotta help you Aliens"

"...you still really mean that don't you?" Karkat studied him, well he did say the boy wasn't completely useless "I'm probably going to regret ever vomiting these words out of my protein chute but; but do you want to help me with the ship next evening?"

John looked at him, a little surprised "well, I dunno how useful I'll be, I can hardly fix my car, but I'm pretty decent at following instructions" he was glad of the change of topic "and one day I'm going to have to find out what all your funny alien words mean, cause some are pretty hilarious"

"Says the boy who just spewed on about 'chicken pox' that's a downright demented alien word if you ask me"

"heh fine, I guess its a pretty funny word, what about, what was it? matesprite?" he ended up accidentally pronouncing the word wrong

Karkat groaned "Mate-sprit, you know filling your flushed quadrant, having deep red feelings for someone What do you call that? you do have that don't you? romance? of course you have that they've been dancing around a piss poor imitation of it through this whole movie"

John ahh'd "oh sure we have romance, some better at it then others, though I'm one of the bad ones, and I guess that'd be called dating? I guess, when you and a person you like or love are a thing?" John really sucked at this explaining thing "and you call the person your dating your girlfriend, or boyfriend"

Karkat winced This was just sad "A 'thing' really? I think I'm starting to see some of your problem here and what kind of romance is it if you're just calling them friends? then what the fuck do you even call your friends? or your kismesis?"

"well I guess you could call them your partner?" he scratched his head thoughtfully "but usually you call your friends your friends, or your best friend, and I have no bloody clue what a misme-whatsit is"

"Your kismesis! black feelings, the calignous quadrant come on! seriously John? You cannot be -this- inept at romance!"

"I-what? black feelings? I think we're having a cultural misunderstanding here, we don't colour feelings, well unless you count feeling blue, or green with envy, I mean, red for love makes sense"

"No, red is for pity, black is for hate. Like the thing going on in the movie between the villain alien and the older MIB human. It the two basic emotions. If you have concupiscent feelings for someone you either pity them and want to protect them or you hate them and you want to hurt them. You get it?"

John gave him a confused look "but so you have black feelings for an enemy? I don't really want an enemy, and pity kinda sounds like love to me"

Karkat was facing him fully now, and the movie was being ignored. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head in slow exasperation "nononono An enemy is like a friend you know? Hating an enemy is not the same as black feelings. I mean you wouldn't kill your kismesis would you? and you wouldn't mate with your enemy. Its just a different kind of romance. Looks tell me about the different types of human romance, maybe I can use words that you understand, better -smaller- words"

John had to think about that "well pretty much all the uh sexual pairings are based on love and respect, well, at least the healthy ones, there are some pretty awful people after all, but I guess the basics would be Heterosexual, where you love someone of the opposite gender, Homosexual, where you love someone of the same gender" John really didn't know a whole lot about romance, he didn't really like watching romance movies

Karkats expression actually manages to define flabbergasted. He sputters for a moment, coherent speech knocked clear out of him for a moment "You buh, so you define your romances by GENDER? How is that even a thing? Its I mean. What is the difference?"

"well I guess basically guys have penises and girls have uh vaginas?" John failed to realise that Karkat would have no idea what they were "um like you usually need a boy and a girl to make a baby? But I guess there are people in the world who are attracted to the same gender? and usually people treat them funny because they aren't making babies, but I dunno, I don't think they're weird"

and poor Karkat could only sit and stare, looking as though his brain had blown a fuse "What The fuck Is a baby?"

"its uh, human young? what are the young of your species called?"

Karkat tried to work his head around the idea. Perhaps the drones could only accept genetic material from hemosexual couples, maybe it was the only sort that was viable " 'grubs' of course, then wrigglers after their twelfth ecclosion"

"So you get to have a hemosexual partner and a holosexual partner Is there a difference in the type of pit er 'love' between one type and the other?"

John shook his head "it it just pretty much the same type of love, just if I was a Heterosexual, which is also called Straight, I would want to date females, and if I was a Homosexual, also called Gay, I would want to date other guys" he explained, he didn't want to ask how trolls reproduced, because he was pretty sure he'd have to explain how humans did it after, and that's just awkward

"THATS STUPID!" Karkat could not help but explode a bit "HUMAN LOVE IS STUPID! You only have one quadrant and even that you mange to fuck up with your fickle human baby grubs and your stupid gender slots and its the same kind of romance but you can only have it for females because there's no fucking difference? but if you don't go that way you get culled for not secreting the right genetic material HOW DO YOU EVEN PROPIGATE AS A SPECIES? IT'S LIKE YOU'VE ARRANGED FOR YOURSELF TO HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN GOING EXTINCT OR BEING FUCKING MISERABLE FOR YOUR BREIF AND UNSPECTACULAR LIVES IT'S THE MOST FUCKED UP THING I'VE EVER HEARD! IF A BENEVOLENT GOD OF MIRICLES EXISTS THEN YOU WOULD CHOOSE HAPPINESS AND EXTINCTION"

He panted as he wound down from his rant "But frankly I seriously doubt it" And he was starting to feel a little shame for flipping his shit. That was actually pretty embarrassing, now that he thinks about it. Oh wonderful impression to make on the alien Karkat. He averted his eyes from John and mumbled "Your romance movies must be boring as all fuck"

John honestly had no idea what Karkat was yelling about, he was talking about quadrants now? and culled "we don't get killed-culled if we don't make a baby Karkat" he tried to explain, but he was still yelling, when he finally stopped John was honestly shocked "do you get killed if you don't reproduce?"

Karkat could not believe that was all John extracted out of that rant, but is beginning to feel that he should not be surprised by anything this derp dished out for him "Of course you need to have both a kismesis and a matesprit when the time comes or the drones will cull you on the spot. But not until you're mature. That's just how it works most times. There was a pretty bad season when the Condesce was demanding double the output. A lot of trolls got culled that time, I heard there was even a little rebellion. Before my time though"

"well that never ever happens to humans, so if you don't make a baby then nothing really happens" he frowned a little "your planet sounds awful, I'm glad that you're here instead" he remembered what the other said about movies "oh yeah, and romance movies are pretty boring, that's why I don't really watch them at all"

"Fuck you have to see a real romance movie next time. A troll romance is the best kind of movie there is! Its a fragile and delicate balance of emotions and storytelling it's an art that under appreciated even back home. I don't have anything that your urth-screen will play but back on the ship I bet I can hook one up I brought a ton with me"

"well maybe one think we can do first is work on getting your movies to work in the house? cause the ship is kinda yucky" he crinkled his nose, not really liking mess

Karkats expression crumpled a bit "Yeah, the sun out here is brutal one day and that shit is already starting to smell like death" Would have liked to remove Sollux's body and properly incinerated it or something, but it's simply buried too far to reach without equipment, but not so far that the scent of decay is unable to seep through the walls

John remembered Karkats friend "there isn't a lot we can do about your friend, but we can at least salvage what we can, you know what everything does? and how it connects or whatever?"

"He wasn't just my" He had half-mumbled, but he drew himself up short. No get your head out of your nook Karkat. This is not a feelings jam. He was disgusted with himself. A few bad days and he was all ready to cheat on Gamzee? He was worse than the slimy genetic remnants on the walls of the brooding caverns "Yeah it's not hard, we'll bring a bigger computer back here after we're done working on the ship"

"well what can we do in the ship? the front of it is pretty much destroyed" he tried to remember what it looked like, but it had been dark last night, even with all the flames

"I was thinking of detaching the front. the main thruster engines are in the back are largely intact. Apart from a few hiccoughs the electric and computer and communication systems are working fine I think. I mostly have the scrubbers back on too. The core looks like it survived well enough that we'll be able to take off but I wont be able to test it fully until I've repaired the cooling system" Immensely pleased with himself and how smart he must sound to this alien who knows nothing of this ship "If everything goes right we can be in space and outta your hive within the week"

John really wanted to sound happy for the alien, he really did, but he had grown really attached to him, the disappointment must have been like a neon sign "well, let me know how I can help, I'll buy you all the ice cream and pop-tarts you want"

"What's wrong with your face aside from the standard?"

"oh uh, I'll be sad to see you go..that's all" he looked away

"Why? You like getting yelled at? this is a turn on for you?"

John snorted "yep, I totally get off thinking about you yelling at me, but no, seriously I've had the most fun I've had in a long time, not many visitors"

"well what do you expect living out here in the nooks end of no place? This place is hot and flat and all the lusii are really tiny. Shouldn't you be living in a lawn-ring closer to others of your kind?"

"even when I lived near others I never had any visitors" he had spent most of his life at home or at school, when he left high school any acquaintances he'd had vanished, leaving the few he had made online "so I decided I'd come live out here, it didn't cost that much, and I find meteors and stuff sometimes, I just love space stuff!"

"Great, space crap. Totally an acceptable substitute from friends and romantic partners of your own kind. John I don't know a lot about your species but that sound kinda fucking dysfunctional don't you think?"

"I am perfectly functional" he smiled "I like living out here, and I have friends online that I talk to, and who needs a girlfriend?" he huffed, his last girlfriend had left a bad taste in his mouth

he scoffed "that sounds like some high grade fresh juicy musclebeast droppings but whatever you want to delude yourself with makes no difference to me. If you want to sit around fondling your bulge and waiting for aliens to fall in your lap to avoid meaningful human interactions that's your choice"

John faked sincerity "well thank you Karkat, I'm glad that you respect my opinion" his voice dripping with false thankfulness

"Oh shut up I express a little concern for your pathetic state of being and I have to put up with snarky horseshit? that's just fucking rude. Anyway you should sleep in the day if you can if you're going to help me at night so we can end this awkward line of conversation"

John giggled a little "I'll have a shower then a nap, just wake me up whenever you wanna start"

He grunted his agreement, nosing once more through the movies. He recalled the nightmares the last time he slept and was not eager for a repeat performance. One day awake couldn't hurt

"I'll probably just sleep on the couch, you can watch movies or whatever, I can sleep through any noises"

Karkat seemed to ignore him as he continued digging, but he made a mental note to move his pile to the floor once John was asleep. The human would probably do better sleeping on his sopor-plateu next time. How are all these movies so awful!?

John got off the couch "I'm gonna shower, don't break anything" he went into the bathroom, stripping off

In fact maybe best to move the pile now Karkat waited till he hears John safe in his block before he slipped to the room to shift the pile. the unsteady surface below the pile wasn't very comfortable anyway. though will pause before trying to return to the living room, listening close to the bathroom door to make sure he hadn't been noticed. He didn't want to be caught doing such embarrassing things such as being considerate of others

John was singing in the shower, he wondered if Karkat would like to hear him play piano, he rubbed the shampoo through his hair, he had no idea what song he was singing, it was mostly just random lyrics he'd heard on the radio

Karkat couldn't help but give a bit of a snicker Figures he would be a singer. He probably dances in front of the mirror singing into a hairbrush too, in little else than a towel

he didn't know the rest of the words, so as he rinsed himself off he was just humming, he turned the water off, grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around his waist, grabbing his clothes, he opened the bathroom door, dripping wet

Had been so distracted by his fantasy he was completely unprepared when his wet and mostly nude imagination strode into reality He leapt a good two feet back and hissed in alarm. Somewhere an unnaturally calm and smug little corner of his mind noted that the boy was better toned than Karkat expected with how skinny the kid was. Not at all unattractive

John blinked, "uh....what are you doing outside the bathroom door? did you hear me singing or something?" he supposed he didn't really mind being shirtless around the alien, his hips were covered by the fluffy blue towel

Karkat takes way too long to answer "I thought someone was being tortured in there" Why cant he look at Johns eyes ?!? its as though his seeing globes have been locked to Johns chest and unable to travel anywhere bet lower "What the flying fuck is that?"

John looked down, wondering what he was talking about, he had a pretty normal chest he thought, pretty slim, but it wasn't like he had a third nipple or something, he had a dark trail of hair leading down from his belly button, not much hair on his chest though, "what are you talking about?"

Karkat moved his face close to Johns chest, until John could feel his breath tickling his skin "those" He moves his fingers up to gently poke at Johns nipple "doesn't it hurt?" he sounds honestly concerned

John jumped a little as he poked him in the nipple "its just a nipple, it just is kinda sensitive when you poke it" he hated that the stupid thing had hardened at the poke "don't you have them?" he asked

"It changed!" tried pinching the new hard nub,, rolling it gently in his fingers. He's careful of his claws, not wanting to hurt John if it's really so sensitive. Though it seems such a strange place for something so vulnerable "what do they do?"

John let out a startled gasp as he pinched it, and when he started to roll it between his fingers John smacked his hand away, his face was red "if you touch them too much I'll get pregnant!" he lied

Karkat took a few steps back, looking completely confused not to mention slightly worried "Is that deadly?"

John snorted it was kinda funny that he was so gullible "luckily its not deadly, but its not pleasant" he didn't think he could keep his poker face much longer

“Why do you have something like that on your chest where its so easy to get to? Its like inviting your enemies to your vulnerable flesh-nubs with a handy red target I'm sorry! Fuck just don't get pregnant ok? I didn't mean to”

John patted Karkat on the shoulder "its ok, I'm pretty sure I wont get pregnant, but I think I'm gonna put a shirt on"

Karkat will shake his head and abscond to the couch. Really just mortified. Is starting to wonder how fragile humans really are. Was only curious, but to cause harm to your host is, well, fucking unconscionable

John giggled as he went up to his room, seeing the pile of stuff had been moved onto the floor, he wondered if Karkat had moved them in the night, he put a blue shirt on, a pair of little light blue waves were on the front, putting on underwear and pyjama pants for now.

To distract himself Karkat was cycling through discs, moving to random parts of the movies and discarding any that featured an explosion or blatant stupidity.

he went back downstairs, "well, I'm gonna sleep for a bit, just give me a shake when you want to start on the ship"

Karkat mumbled something that might be an agreement, or possibly an unkind remark regarding his diurnal habits or some combination. still too ashamed to really look at him

John grabbed his pillow that was still on the couch, laying curled up so there was room if Karkat wanted to sit "night" he murmured

He sat on the floor so John would have room to stretch out and turned the TV down impossibly low, where his ears can still comfortably hear but John will have to strain. It wouldn't be long before Karkat discovered television and chooses to abandon the movies, probably even before John slipped to sleep

after a little while as John slept, blue wisps appeared in the air, ruffling Karkat hair, twirling around the tips of his horns, the curtains rustled

He tensed, backing away from the boy. It wasn't a dream! but still he hesitated, should he wake John? His mind scrambled fruitlessly to come up with some explanation or grasp on the situation, but all he could come up with was that it was somehow the most important thing he's ever seen and he couldn't say why

the wisps floated around the house, not doing any damage, they were spiralling mostly around John, though some were twirling around Karkat, Johns dream wasn't as clear as the nights before, it was mostly him just flying

"John" still speaking so softly, unsure if he should wake John or see how it plays out it will be easy to sleep through. He ventures nearer, it seems the boy really is unaware of what he's doing though.

The breeze reacted to Karkats voice, the breeze getting a little stronger around him

Swallows keeping his hand free to grip the sickle if he must "John stop it"

John must have subconsciously heard him, the breeze almost stopping

Sighing he settled beside him once more, he crossed his arms over his knees and glared at John without blinking. As though he can divine his secrets just by finding just the right angle. Well he heard him in his sleep maybe "John do the windy thing"

John did the windy thing, the wind taking up almost gale force, the room turned into a miniature tornado, everything not bolted down was flying around the room, paper, books and DVD cases flying

"FUCK!" Karkat was prepared, but certainly not for that. He almost joins the rest of the room in the miniature tornado. His sickle flashed out of his specibus and Karkat buried the tip deeply into the floor, he pulled himself close to the ground to keep himself earthbound.

luckily the windy thing didn't last that long, the wind dying down, his house was a complete mess, all of his shelves were bare, the kitchen appliances had been pulled out the wall and were laying around the room

he remained crouched and at the ready "JOHN YOU WORTHLESS SOGGY SACK OF CHOLORABEAR WASTE YOU ARE NO LONGER PERMITTED TO LIE TO ME OR YOURSELF FOR ANOTHER FUCKING MINUTE AND IF YOU DONT WAKE UP RIGHT NOW I WILL PERSONALLY IMPREGNATE YOU SO HARD YOUR FLESHNUBS WILL PETRIFY TO FINE PEIRCEING POINTS AND KILL YOU THE NEXT TIME YOU FALL ON YOUR FACE"

Usually John could sleep through loud noises, but he swore Karkats yelling could be heard from space, his eyes snapped open "wha- the hell Karkat?" he sat up, looking around his house, it looked like a tornado had hit it

Karkat cautiously straightens up to standing, looking completely ruffled "Are you still going to deny doing that wind-thing now?"

John rubbed his face "did you honestly just trash my house so that you could bring up that windy thing or whatever?" it was going to take him forever to clean his house again

Karkat bristles "You are really doing this, you honestly are going to tell me that I sneakily threw every fucking thing you own around the room without waking you up. That is easier for you to believe than the idea that I might be telling you the truth"

"Karkat, seriously, I am almost 20 years old, I have never ever had anyone mention anything strange when I sleep"

“And you've never met an alien before so obviously I must be a deranged mutant human thing? And obviously you haven't been living alone away from contact with others of your kind who might ever notice such a thing. How dare I disturb your sleep with my frothing pandrip of delusional observations every time you try to fucking kill me in your sleep! Go back to sleep urth John. I don't need to be wasting my precious time trashing your block for no reason”

"hey, I've only been living by myself for 2 years Karkat, and why on earth would I even have this windy power!" John wasn't going to let Karkat just drop it

“How the fuck would I know! Maybe its an Alternian disease that manifests in weak human flesh by symptoms of supertrollian projectile flatulence. I don't know its hard to tell, since its similar to what I hear every time you open your mouth”

"what the hell are you even talking about? I don't think being in contact with an alien gives someone super powers!, like...maybe if you shot me with a special beam or something? but I really don't think that you have"

"Or you touched something stupid inside the ship" Like say some strange glowing liquid of the floor?

"I only got goop on my shoes, I got none of it on my skin"

“Believe what you want. I'm just a little fucking fed up with being called a liar. Not like I'm reputable in the first place, or even worth the breath it takes to laugh in my face, but that doesn't make it any less irritating”

John frowned "sorry Karkat, but do you have any proof of this windy thing?" he got up off the couch, he wasn't going to be able to do anything until his house was clean

"Well what I consider proof you consider proof that I'm an immature asshole who tugs his bulge at the idea of playing wriggler games on hapless sleeping idiots " Karkat bent over, trying to work his sickle out from where is was wedged in the ground

John sighed a little "well its hard to believe Karkat, that's all, and I'd like to believe you" he started picking up books, he saw Karkat trying to pull his Sickle out the floor "why is the sickle wedged into my floor? how the hell did you even get it in so deep? how strong are you?"

"I didn't want to get my ass plastered to your wall I didn't get much warning before you turned into a one man tornado" A few wiggles, a final wrench, and its free, leaving a thin but deep hole in Johns floor "and I'm a warrior, I'm stronger than a musclebeast"

"oh man! I wanna see how strong you are!!" he said excitedly bouncing his arms full of books he put them onto a shelf "probably later though, I wanna get some of these books put away"

He rolls his eyes, but will turn to help with some of the larger misplaced appliances starting with the thermal hull. Certainly not showing off his strength to John, nope

John heard scraping, turning around, seeing Karkat moving his fridge like it hardly weighed anything, he gaped a little "that's pretty amazing Karkat" he complimented, grabbing another arm full of books

He puffs up a bit subconsciously "you cant seriously be impressed by that how pitiful is your species?"

John laughed "oh we're pretty pitiful, cant see in the dark, cant hear for crap, pretty weak if you consider that to be not worth praise, seriously" he put books up onto the shelf "the only thing I really have over you is that I'm taller"

"SHUT YOUR FESTERING PROTEIN CHUTE!" sensitive much "you're just freakishly tall"

"oh please, I'm sure if you really wanted you could pick me up and just toss me, so don't act like its such a big deal that I'm taller then you" John rolled his eyes

"that's right, it isn't!" thanks every god that might listen that the others aren't awake and John cant see how truly short he really is "look we're up already anyway, after this you want to?"

"oh sure, we can do some stuff on the ship after we've cleaned, I can help you reach high up things" he teased

Karkat is not responsible for any books that mysteriously go flying at him when his back is turned


	3. Chapter 3

"Why don't you start picking up paper? Just stick it all in stacks, it's just a bunch music stuff" he waved a hand

he peers at the papers "its a new language? did you write it? what does it say?"

"Oh, they're musical notes, I can read them, and then play the songs that they spell out" he explained "I guess you could call it another language"

Stacks them "was that what you were singing?"

"Oh haha, no, this is mostly stuff that I play on the piano, I was just singing something I heard on the radio, most of the songs there don't have words"

Will silently set them aside wonders if John will play the words on the page for him someday

John had a keyboard packed away, he could show him later properly later, after a little while all the books were picked up "ok, we can probably go soon, its pretty clean now"

He moved on to the movies and finished shortly after "expect to get dirty and to work hard on that ship I'm the captain, understand? undisputed"

John gave him a salute "I'll just get into some jeans then while you put those away" he ran off upstairs, grabbing an old pair of jeans

Still stuck in Johns old cloths he looked ridiculous as far as he was concerned, but it was better to mess up these clothes than his own further. He may be able to find some spares on the ship too. All in all he dreamed he could be off this planet by the next day.

John saw Karkats filthy clothes in his room, he picked them up gingerly, going downstairs "hey Karkat, can I wash your clothes? they are pretty gross"

"Sure thanks and I can give you back your freakishly giant clothes with disturbing worm signs on it"

"well you can keep wearing them for now, these will take a little while to wash,” he went to his bathroom tossing the clothes into the washer

"just dang undignified, you ready?"

"yeah lets go, your ships not going to fix itself, though you're gonna have to explain exactly what I'm doing, and what everything is, cause I'd hate to break something important"

Karkat guided him back to the ship on the now familiar path, keeping on high alert in case of attack on such a flat plane with no cover. But once inside the ship he was all business. First to check on his friends, he carefully monitored every little detail to ensure they are perfectly alright. He lingered perhaps a little too long before he even began to instruct John, but his worry was too evident. Eventually John will be getting an education in Alternian tools

John looked around the ship, now that it wasn't smoky and dark it was pretty awesome, the floor was still sticky and gross, and he didn't look forward to touching it, Karkat was looking at the other trolls, so he kept quiet, he saw a computer screen, not recognising any of the symbols.

the luminescent goo has lost its luminescence, now it's just gross. But Karkat looked calmer as he approaches John, tool box in hand "you up to this?"

John nodded "I might not be as strong as you guys, but I'll help however I can!" he said cheerily

And so begins what might be the second longest and weirdest night John might have ever known crawling through tight fleshy places that seem to breath around you, clanking though featureless grey halls to fiddle through endless wires. Most of Johns tasks involved handing over tools or grabbing and holding and hauling whatever Karkat needed. They manage to seal off the nose of the ship and flush and refill the coolant its not a job for only two trolls but Karkat is determined, even if he does spend much of the time shouting colourful expletives at inanimate objects.

by the end of the night John was exhausted, but they had achieved something apparently, the ship was really kinda gross, and he had the feeling that a lot of the ship was actually alive, which made him a bit sad because it was in pretty bad shape, he was really dirty, his pants covered in the goop, his hands and arms grimy "so, what's the verdict on the ship?" he asked

Karkat checked the same screens again and again even surreptitiously checking a book when he thought John wasn't looking "it looks like the we patched every leak The coolant is moving and we're fully insulated. We might even make it through the atmosphere like this" He steps back with a satisfied nod "we just need to test the core if there are any major cracks we might have to fix them tomorrow but I think this will work. We can be out of here in no time" He must actively contain his excitement. For once in his miserable pustule of a life he might actually pull it out of the fire!

John would really miss Karkat, it was a shame that he'd probably never see him again, he already considered Karkat as his good friend "well we'll see how the core is tomorrow, right now I think I need a shower and some sleep, and you need a shower too, your face has this big smudge on it" he points at Karkats cheek

"A little dirt is good for you! Anyway go on ahead if you want. It wont take me long to test it and I can plan out what I need for supplies through the day"

"oh, its cool, I'll wait here with you" he smiled "funnily enough, I like spending time with you, call me a glutton for punishment"

"Its some kind of perversion for you isn't it, a fetish? or maybe a mental handicap" But cant say he's not glad for the company as he leads the way back to the core John would already be familiar with the large fleshy machine by now. The heart of the ship Karkat wakes the computers and starts running through tired procedures to wake the idle beast.

"call it what you like, but you aren't gonna get rid of me, hell, when you go, well I'm gonna miss you, even though I haven't known you long" he watched the big machine, he had been surprised the first time he'd seen the core

Karkat paused in his work to look at John wit a hint of disbelief but even he had to begrudgingly admit "I guess maybe I might miss you to, when I'm pan-rottingly bored or something" turned hurriedly back to the screen, tapping out a few more keys before moving to the core to pull a few switches and bring it to life once more the slow warm up makes the ground under Johns feet hum pleasantly

"don't lie Karkat, you're gonna miss me like mad" he teased, moving closer to the core, the humming was a nice feeling, it was almost like a cats purr, but quieter

Karkat moved back to check the readout on the computer. The response he shot over his shoulder was stolen by a dreadful noise inside the core that pierced Johns ears. Something wrenching and metallic, it made a sound like a scream and something inside the machinery started to glow white hot, making the whole thing wobble. It was all happening to fast to even think about putting through the proper shut-down protocol. There would only be time for reaction

at the screeching noise and the sudden increase in temperature John shot forward, grabbing the Karkat by the collar, he wanted to get away from the core

John pulling the stunned Karkat out of the room was probably the only thing that saved their lives. The explosion sent a shock wave that demolished the entire room, leaving nothing but hot twisted rubble in its wake. The insulated walls would help protect them from the heat but not from flying rubble as some of them were destroyed in the sheer force of the blast.

when the explosion hit John pulled Karkat to his chest, crouching over him and shielding him as best he could, he felt bits of debris hit his back, but not very hard, probably only hard enough to bruise

the silence after the storm was deafening Karkat remained frozen, with his head tucked to Johns chest as though waiting for another to hit. His brain desperately scrambled to catch up with the rest of him'

John found him shivering a little from adrenaline, there was an awful smell leaving the room where the core was, as well as a fading shriek, John help Karkat close

at last his brain caught up. Of course, it was all so simple! He had fucked up again, completely ruined any chance of getting off this planet and finding a place to live in peace and John. Oh god! He'd killed John! the only friendly alien he'd ever met and he killed him! Never mind Johns arms were still tight around him. To Karkats mind, John was dead, murdered by his own grub-fisted idiocy

"John??" there was no small amount of panic in that voice

John could feel the fear radiating off the smaller troll "yeah Karkat are you alright?" he asked softy, he rubbed his hand on Karkats arm, mostly to soothe himself

"You're alive! How the fuck are you alive? Shitshit tell me you aren't crippled or something Let me see" Karkat wiggles under John, trying to manoeuvrer to inspect the human for damage

John let the alien go, straightening himself up "I'm fine, really, I might have a bruise or something on my back" he was also a bit dusty, but that was about it

Karkat still refused to believe it until he had looked over John over himself "you are so lucky its revolting" satisfied, he sat back on his heels, surveying the damage to the hallway "thanks for... you know"

John waved a hand dismissively "its nothing really, like I'm going to let you die" he put his hands on Karkats shoulders, "you still haven't shown me your movies after all" he joked weakly, the moment was incredibly sappy

"well it looks like we're going to have time to see them all" Karkat tried to smile, but what came out wasn't really a smile sure the corners of his lips turned up, but it looked so weighed down it didn't really much resemble a smile at all

John saw the almost broken smile on his face and he pulled Karkat into a tight hug "I'm really sorry about the ship Karkat" he said softly "I'm sorry that you have to stay here with all us aliens"

Too shaken to feel awkward with the sudden contact he even relaxes in Johns arms "I'm just being a drama grub. I wanted to find a safe place for everyone some place we could live without being afraid and hiding all the time. I'm sick to death of fucking hiding and running. But. There are way worse places in the universe to be stranded than here. In fact being around you has made this clusterfuck a whole lot less horrible even nice sometimes"

John felt his chest warm when Karkat said that it was nice to spend time with him "look, I promise, I will do EVERYTHING that I possibly can to help you guys" he said, voice adamant, he meant every word "I'll help you guys to find a safe place"

That coaxed an odd sort of scowl out of him, a scowl that didn't really resemble a scowl, but actually seemed more like a small and honest smile "Come on, lets make sure the whole ship isn't going to blow up and go back to get clean before I embarrass myself even worse than I have already"

John smoothed over Karkats back, letting him out of his embrace "that was the thing that powered the ship right? probably what we have to worry about the most is your friends in the pods, they would have been attached to that right?"

"the pods should still run on backup power, same as the crypsis generator, emergency communications, and basic life-support but I don't know what a power surge will have done to the systems" He stood, careful where he put his feet on the messy floor

John nodded "well that's good then" he looked around, the doorway to the core showed carnage, the entire room blackened from the blast "I might have to get you to check my back for bruises later"

he lead the way back to the pods "if you got out of that without a single bruise I'll give you one myself noone can be that lucky" Though a high whining alarm will become audible the closer they get

John chuckled "I'm expecting at least one, my shoulder is a bit achy" he rubbed his left shoulder, one of the bigger bits of debris had hit him there "what's that noise?" he asked, the high pitch was a little annoying to his ears

instead of answering Karkat broke into a full out run. He scrambled his way to the pods moving back and forth, trying to be everywhere at once he breathing in a steady chant of nonononofucknonopleaseno

John had hurried after him, a lot of the lights were flashing, a high pitched alarm was screeching over head "Karkat, Karkat, tell me what's happening" Karkat was almost tearing his hair out, John was worried, had something bad happened??

"THEY'RE DYING! The scrubbers weren't up to capacity and the radiation fucked the system. They'll die if I cant get them out of there" he kicked the bottom of the console in frustration and moved to the next "FUCK YOU don't you DARE leave me alone on this miserable excuse for a planet! WAKE UP!!" At last one of the pods lets out a long hiss and slides open, soon followed by the next

John went to the pods, helping them open, they seemed sluggish compared to when Karkats had opened, all around them the lights were flickering, and the Alien inside this one was wearing a bright red skirt "should I shake her? make sure she's awake?" John asked

"Not yet! don't touch her while her vascular system is still all sluggish. Just, talk to her" He moved to loom over Gamzee eyes wide and alert for the slightest movement in his chest. Hoping their body will kick start on their own and not require CPR.

John nodded "uh, hello there miss Alien, it'd be really nice if you woke up" he said having no idea of how to talk to an unconscious alien "I think that your shirt is really nice, though, it'd be nicer if it was blue, I'm just saying" the alien seemed to be responding to his words, shifting a little

Karkat mutters into the tube "come on you star-eyed twit I need you up. Just open your eyes and get up and I promise I wont yell"

Gamzee made an unintelligible noise, "but I feel like I just got my motherfucking sleep on, my hearts all up and telling me I need more, so give me another hour bro" he murmured, his words almost unable to be understood

John decided that the girl alien was alright, she looked like she was waking, he went to the last pod, the alien had big horns, John remembered Karkat telling him that this one couldn't use his legs "hey there" he murmured "it'd be pretty cool if you decided to wake up"

"You've had days to sleep you lazy asshole! I said get up!" So much for not yelling. But Karkat was so relived he couldn't contain himself. Gamzee and Kanaya confirmed alive. All he needed was one more miracle and his continued existence might still have a chance of being justified

the last miracle was currently scrunching his nose at all the noise, managing little more than a mumble as he tried to drift back to sleep. Let the others handle Karkats latest temper-tantrum

Gamzee let out a sigh "ok bro, I'll get my awake on as soon as the sleep fairies get their magic dust all up and out my eyes" he brought his long fingers to his eyes, rubbing the sleep out

"Karkat, it looks like these two are awake" John said, he looked back into the pod "c'mon, wake up, we gotta get you guys out of here" he said, Kanaya made a confused noise at the strange voice, feeling a little overwhelmed

Karkat moved to Kanayas side, at least taking care to lower his voice a bit "Kan you ok? talk to me"

Now this voice was a new thing Tavros' eyes cracked open a slit and he stared blearily at John "um,, who'ry" Oh wow, talking was going to take a little more concentration then that "who are you?"

"my names John" he introduced himself to the alien. Kanaya looked at Karkat "I believe that I should be fine, I am simply in need of some time" she explained, "who is the one talking?" she asked, still not feeling up to sitting, the shutting down of the tube had made her feel very lethargic.

Gamzee didn't want to get out of the pod, but his Palemate had told him to up and get up, so he had to

"Local alien well local local, since this is his planet. Anyway I'm going to move you ok? I don't trust this recuperacoon reject"

"what's wrong with your face? uh not that there is anything wrong like bad I just I mean you're kinda pink but not in a bad way I just m-mean that,," he trails off a bit "I'm kinda tired, sorry"

Kanaya nodded a little "I believe I will be fine if you can help me to stand, just getting into the standing position feels quite impossible at this point."

John laughed a little "don't mind my pink face, I'm just a friendly alien alright? I've been helping Karkat with the ship, is it alright if I help you sit up?"

Gamzee grabbed the edge of the pod, pulling himself up with a groan "oh man, the motherfucking fairies scrambled my think pan, I think I need directions to find where up's all at"

Karkat moves his arms around Kanaya to help her up and hopefully guide her somewhere relatively clean so she can sit and rest "take it easy you dumbfuck clown, if you don't think you can stand up, wait till I get there"

Tavros nodded "um what's going on anyway?"

"oh, well your ship crashed on my planet near my house" John explained, he carefully sat the alien up "Karkat mentioned that you cant walk, do you have a wheel chair or something?" he asked

"I think I'm going to be needing some assistance bro, the intricacies of my lower self cant be up and working out whether or not they can mobile"

Kanaya was helped out of the pod, her legs shaking a little, but she was feeling a little better "go and assist Gamzee, I will keep myself upright until you return" Kanaya put a hand onto the pod to keep herself up

Despite all the insults Karkat is fast to Gamzees side, to help him out and to his feet. Ready to catch him should he fall, overall treating him like glass

Tavros' head swayed dangerously under the weight of his horns, he hold the sides of the pod to steady himself "I do, but I don't know where it is" he tries to look around, likely it is discarded somewhere in the room, but considering they have crashed Tavros fears it may no longer be intact

John gave the room a quick look, there were a few chairs scattered around, and they were clean enough "I'm going to pick you up and put you on one of them, I don't think Karkat wants you guys in the pods" he reached in, looping an arm under his legs, not really giving him a choice, his other arm wrapped around his back, lifting him, luckily he didn't weigh too much.

Kanaya had managed to set herself on one of the chairs, watching as Gamzee grabbed Karkats shoulders to keep himself upright "ok brother, I think I might have got it, my legs seem to be working to their true potential"

Tavros manages an amusing sort of surprised squeak but he doesn't struggle he'll even manage an embarrassed 'thank you' once he's settled

Karkat will already have begun ranting, even as he guided Gamzee to a seat of his own "alright Since everyone is upright and awake lets save me another fucking headache and get all the basics out of the way. First head-check. Is everyone ok no new injuries or anything?"

Gamzee made a show of counting all his fingers and patting his legs "all up and accounted for" he said, he waved at Tavros, glad to see that he was alright, the last time he had seen him was when the ship was hurtling towards the planet

"other then feeling a little unsteady I am fine" Kanaya added

Tavros smiled "yeah, uh, not even a scratch"

John nodded "when you guys are feeling better we'll get you all moved to my house, you guys don't really like the sun, so I am pretty sure I'll have to buy more sunglasses" he didn't really want to interrupt the reunion, but it was starting to get early

"Ok look we crashed down a couple of days ago I've tried but this ship is not getting off the ground period. For the time being, we're stuck here. The locals are -not- going to be inviting us in with open arms, in fact most of the sane ones are going to want us dead. So we have to keep a low profile at all costs. The local tech is pretty inferior so finding a new way to get off planet might be a thing that is not going to happen. So we're going to have some decisions to make soon" he coughed uncomfortably "anyway, in case you haven't heard. This is John. He's the freak that doesn't want us dead. He's going to help us and for now we'll be hiding at his place as soon as you guys think you can make the walk. Be on your best behaviour and don't scare him off John this is Gamzee, Kanaya, and Tavros"

Karkat looked around "Any questions?"

"I do believe I have a statement of the questioning kind, do the brothers on this planet have pie?" he asked, looking at John, John nodded, Gamzee smiled "motherfucking miracles"

Kanaya mused for a moment "Sollux mentioned that he was working on a portable holograph projector for disguises, has he mentioned anything about it?" she asked, of course having no idea of Sollux's death, John cringed a little

"Gamzee they do -not- have the kind of pie you're thinking of you'll have to make do with what we can salvage

Kanaya he fffuck I don't know maybe they were almost finished I'll check into it later" His eyes avoided theirs as he clumsily dodged the question

John smiled at the clown Gamzee looked at Karkat, he could tell that he was really upset about something "brother, come over here and tell me what the motherfuck is up? and don't go telling me that its nothing, because that would be a dirty lie" he opened his arms, clearly expecting Karkat to come over

Karkat had to fight a deep flush. He's not going to be getting all romantic here in front of everyone is he? right in front of the alien? if the mirthful messiahs were at all merciful they would strike him dead now yet his hands still trembled a bit out of sheer relief that they were alive, he just didn't have it in him to deny Gamzee at least one hug, though it would come attached with a long-suffering sigh

"I am not saying its nothing I just wish your think pans weren't too shrivelled up to detect the obvious"

John wondered if he should say something about what had happened to Sollux.

Kanaya seemed to understand, looking down at her knees, it was a shame that he hadn't made it, he had been a good troll.

Gamzee continued to sit there with his arms open, sometimes it took Karkat a while to accept his pale feelings.

Its Tavros who had the lack of tact to voice uncomfortable truth "I uh, I don't mean to intrude or anything but where is Sollux anyway?"

Karkat executed a perfect 2X face palm combo "DEAD YOU DENSE SACK OF MEAT AND HAIR. YOU NEED ME TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU? HE'S ROTTING UNDER A PILE OF RUBBLE A STONES THROW TO YOUR LEFT Get it now? Fall, Crash, One less moron trying to kill me with the sheer crushing force of mob mental dysfunction And they all lived happily ever after!"

Buries himself in Gamzees arms almost violently, grumbling a long string of unintelligible curses into his shirt

Gamzee buried his nose into Karkats hair, one hand lightly scratching the back of his scalp "shhhhh brother, shhhhh, our brother is living up with the stars now" he said into Karkats hair.

John had no idea what was going on, it was obviously an alien thing, he hoped it'd be explained

Whatever is going on, Karkat seems unnaturally comfortable where he is in Gamzees arms, the soothing touch perhaps eliciting a small but embarrassing noise out of him, but he will keep the mass of his emotional reactions well in check. It was not the time, not at all. But eventually he had to pull himself together, giving Gamzee an extra firm squeeze before pulling away.

"Fuck. Sorry sorry It's been a long day, and apparently its never complete until I've made an ass of myself" A conferring nod to Tavros will assure Karkat that the troll seems unperturbed by the outburst

"I am finding that my motor capabilities are fine, I believe we could now be relocated to Johns 'house', I am finding the location we are in, quite detestable" Kanaya stood up, straightening her clothes out

"how about I carry you to my house for now? and I'll find you a wheel chair tomorrow?" John suggested, looking at Tavros

Gamzee stood up, and John gaped a little, he was pretty damn tall, Gamzee walked to Karkat, putting a hand on his shoulder, but looking at Tavros "I'd offer to carry you bro, but I'd probably end up dropping you on the way, my arms are feeling a little less then perfect"

Tavros has the decency to blush "that's fine. I'm sorry I'm kind of a bother here"

They'll had to sort themselves out quickly to try and beat the sun back to the house. Karkat will offer to carry Tavros if John appears to be flagging but overall they were all squinting painfully by the time they reached the door.

John had managed to carry Tavros all the way to his house, though his shoulders and legs ached, Karkat had offered to take the burden but John had just shook his head, as soon as he got home he put Tavros down on the couch, flopping next to him, sweat beading his forehead, despite his nap he was feeling his energy fleeing "look guys, this house is meant for 1 or maybe 2 people" he said as he caught his breath "we're going to have to relocate to a bigger house" he ran a hand through his hair

"Oh sure I'll just run off to the nearest lawn-ring and borrow it for a while unless you'd rather use the 12 room mansion you have stuffed up your nook"

"shut up Karkat, I'm thinking alright" he sighed, the only option he could think or was maybe asking if they could move to Roses house, she had a big house, in a very secluded place, her family was well off, it just depended on if she'd want to, he gnawed on his lip, "I might have to talk to my friend about you guys"

Karkat frowned deeply "I'm not so sure about this its dangerous enough that you know anyone else you drag into this is both risky for us and at risk themselves"

"I know Karkat, I know, but see, she is the most trustworthy person I know, and one of my oldest friends, she has a house that is perfect, position, size and everything" he explained

"John as long as you know any move on your part could be deadly to any one of us or your friend as long as you weigh the risks after that we've really got no fucking choice but to trust your judgement here, so go on contact your friend"

John gave him a smile "thanks, I'll go do that" he got up, grabbing his laptop, putting it on hip lap as he sat down, luckily for him Rose was online

ectoBiologist [EB] has started pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]  
EB: rose, rose, rose, are you there?  
EB: something huge has happened and I need your help  
TT: Why hello John  
TT: How refreshing to see you once more  
TT: What was that John? Why yes I am doing fine, how kind of you to enquire  
TT: No I certainly was not concerned over your unannounced absence  
EB: oh hehe, sorry rose, its good to hear that you're good, its just some amazing things happened and I've been busy as a bee  
EB: and well, before I can tell you (and I know that you wont) but I need you to promise that you wont tell anyone what I'm about to tell you  
TT: John you know I always maintain patient confidentiality. But the nature of your admission may influence my ability to remain silent  
TT: Has Strider finally confessed his true feelings towards you?  
John face-palmed  
EB: no rose, no he hasn't, and its a little more serious then Dave  
EB: what happened is, the other day a spaceship landed not far from my house  
EB: I of course went to check it out  
EB: and what I found in there, other then a lot of fire and bad smells  
EB: was an alien! he came back to my house while his 3 friends stayed in stasis in these pod things  
EB: but when we tried to fix a part of the ship is exploded and we had to get the aliens out the pods before they died  
EB: so, now I have 4 aliens in my house  
TT: John your pranksters gambit is slipping  
TT: This is far from your best rouse  
TT: Perhaps something a little more believable than little green men. Try a B-list celebrity  
EB: no no rose, I'm not kidding!  
EB: they also arn't little and green, they're about my height I guess, and they have these really cool candy corn horns  
John ran a hand through his hair, how could he convince her  
EB: this thing has a webcam, I could show you on that maybe?  
EB: I'm completely serious rose  
TT: ...  
TT: John we have been friends for a long time, and you know my penchant to psychoanalyse my friends was treated with clinical seriousness, but I have never matured past the realm of the hobbyist  
TT: If you are honestly seeing candy horned aliens it may behove you to seek more qualified assistance  
EB: for fucks sake rose, I'm just going to ask them if they wanna be shown on webcam, as you can probably guess they're touchy I spose  
EB: fair enough, they don't wanna be sent off to area 51 and get dissected  
EB: 2 secs

John looked away from the laptop "well, to put it bluntly she thinks I should go and see a psychiatrist, she thinks I'm off my rocker, is it alright if I use the webcam to show her you guys?"

Kanaya decided to let Karkat decide.

Gamzee shrugged a bit

He growled ominously this was distracting him from the magic of pop tarts he was trying to share with the others! "Let me see this urth girl"

"what do you mean? you want to go on webcam then?" John asked, he didn't want to do something that Karkat didn't want

He glares at the screen. Where is the viewport? "you mean you cant, urgh fine turn it on" Sollux you're never around when I need you

John started the video call, waiting for Rose to answer, he really hoped that Rose would let the trolls move to her house

naturally she accepted an image appeared revealing an immaculately groomed and slightly bored-looking blonde "..."

"And he is grey. Terribly original John. body paint and paper mache horns do not constitute an emergency"

John face-palmed "you really think I'd go through this much trouble for a prank?" he said exasperatedly, "c'mon look at him, like I could really convince 4 strangers to paint themselves grey, colour their scleras yellow, have pointy teeth one of them is even a girl! you know about how I suck at talking to girls, what can I do to convince you?" he asked

"And the horns aren't even very good"

Karkat recoiled a bit, touching his head "What's wrong with my horns?"

"they are nubby at best I am afraid. But I assure you it is not the size of the horn that matters, but how you use it"

"Oh fuck you urth girl! You don't even have horns, just your weird freak-hair"

"look, there are 3 others here, you can look at their horns, Gamzee, Kanaya, come over here" he called, Tavros was on the other end of the couch, when they were near he aimed the camera at them

"oooohh wow, will you up and look at that girls motherfucking hair, its like all the colour just up and ran away!" Gamzee crowed, never having seen hair that colour

"I must agree Gamzee, she does in fact have a strange hair colour, is it a normal hair colour on your planet?" she asked, John nodded

"John, John this is getting a little ridiculous. You cannot expect me to believe you found 4 aliens who look suspiciously like humans in costumes and speak perfect English. Oh yes and you found them in your backyard"

Tavros strained trying to see around the others "so strange, maybe she gets different colouring instead of gills"

Karkat face palmed "fuck me I know how to convince her"

Gamzee nodded "is that true sister? do you live under the ocean?"

John made a shooshing sound at Gamzee, he handed the laptop to Karkat "go on then"

the sickle came out "humans only have one colour of blood. Gamzee, Tav, Kan I have to cut you a little or we'll never get out of this festering abyss of a sun trap"

Kanaya looked surprised at John, but she held her hand out for Karkat, Gamzee did the same, he'd had a few too many stunning revelations for one day

One slice after another shows different shades of blood, each time Karkat let rose pick the spot, even Tavros' face If it was a special effect, rose was duly impressed and perplexed

"...And precisely how is it you have come to speak English?"

"We don't speak English -you- speak Alternian. But you don't write it I cant make heads or tails of this bullshit" he jabbed a claw at the screen "anyway whether you believe us or not isn't even the issue" he pushes the computer back into Johns arms

Gamzee crouched next to Tavros, running tongue over his cheek, cleaning the blood from the wound.

John took the laptop "so uh do you believe me now? there's not a lot else they can do to prove they're aliens, well I'm pretty sure they don't have nipples? but I'm not going to ask them to take their shirts off for you Rose, that's just rude" he scolded her playfully

she rubbed her eyes "its quite alright John I believe you there is no need for such measures Perhaps such an activity is best saved until my birthday"

behind John Tavros tugs at Karkats sleeve and whispers "What's nipples?"

"human chest vulnerability, they cause pregnant"

John hushed Karkat "I'll get you all up to speed when I'm done talking to Rose" he said, looking back to the screen "now, the problem is, basically I don't have enough room in my house for 3 people let alone 5, I only have my bed and the couch, so sleeping is going to be fun, I was wondering if we might all be able to relocate to your house? I know I'm a huge bother, and its short notice and you don't know any of them, but you are honestly our only hope" he pleaded

Rose sighed "John I am more than willing to help you out in your hour of need if only for sisterly love and the benefit of the doubt. I have to wonder how you propose to get 4 aliens all the way over here undetected?"

"thank you soooooooo much Rose, I will make it up to you!! I promise" he had the biggest smile on his face, finally some good news "getting there will be a huge pain, we wont be able to catch a plane, and I don't think we could drive there" he put his hands in his hair, thinking hard

"have you considered chartering a private plane? A small airfield might have a willing pilot I'm absolutely certain you will not be able to smuggle aliens through airport security"

"oh yeah, I guess there's that airport not far from here, but the pilot is gonna have to see the passengers, hmm reckon I could disguise them? say its a costume party or something?"

“Well I suppose if you pay enough money I'm sure a pilot will accept almost anything, but John do you even have enough money for that many tickets alone, never mind the pilots silence"

"well i might have to ask my dad for some money, and I'm pretty sure the pilot wont need that much for his silence, they look pretty human after all, well ignoring their skin, horns and eyes, I guess their teeth too, but they hopefully wont be talking much"

"Well bringing someone to a new area without a proper security check is probably quite illegal It will require a good deal of 'convincing'"

Tavros will wish John a hearty mental 'good luck' in keeping Karkat quiet

"does the pilot /have/ to know that they haven't had a security check?" John rubbed his face "would driving be easier?" he mumbled into his hands

"a sufficient dollar amount should be enough explanation, but if you think driving is a viable alternative try searching my address on a map " A soft ping sends a reminder of her physical address to him

John quickly looked up directions to her house, finding google maps to be the best thing ever "looks like it'll be about a 36 hour drive, that'll take over a week if I count in sleeping and breaks and stuff, urgh, flying would be a lot easier, do you know any private pilots? one who don't mind smuggling strangely dressed people with no identification?"

"My mother has never lacked for connections I'll see what I can produce, but it might take some time will you be alright in the meantime? No dangerous egg-laying I must save you from?"

John chuckled "nah, I'm pretty safe from them laying eggs in my chest, or at least I hope so, we'll all just have to be in tight quarters for a little while, it'll give me some time to pack up all my stuff, I also need to acquire a wheelchair and more pop tarts, because you guys seriously just ate all the packets I bought yesterday" he gave the trolls an accusing look

"Its Gamzees fault! I was saving that one" Karkat just howls and points accusingly

"perhaps not egg-laying, but are you certain they are completely benevolent?"

John nodded, giving her a reassuring smile "I've been hanging out with Karkat for nearly 48 hours now, I can assure you that he's golden, and his friends have been nothing but nice, not counting my sudden lack of pop-tarts"

She shook her head, looking annoyed and bemused the whole time "John only you would make friends with screeching aliens I shall make a note to stock up"

John laughed "come on, you know me!" he smiled, he was friendly with nearly everyone he met "I'll let you go, I'll bring food with me as well, pop-tarts, peanut butter and ice cream."

Gamzee perked up, hearing ice cream, he leaned consiprationally towards Karkat "these motherfuckers are up and having ice cream?" he whispered loudly, not subtle at all

"And this weird puffy stuff that is kinda like grub-corn. But I get dibs on the chocolate ice-cream leader priority"

"And John if I may make a humble suggestion, a shower might be your first priority You look as though you were rolling in the dump"

"now Karkat, I do not find that to be fair, you have been gallivanting around on this planet for 2 nights while we have been in stasis, it is only fair that we get the chocolate ice cream" Kanaya argued, her voice perfectly calm, but still somehow threatening

"haha yeah, I might as well have been rolling in the dump, I'll have a shower soon" he decided not to tell her about the explosion

"You have been sleeping calm and peaceful while I have been ass over elbows in the shit, dodging the earth government, making peace with the locals, trying to fix the impossible clusterfuck we used to call a ship then getting my slobbering incompetent shit blown up for my trouble, and overall just working my ass off trying to keep you ungrateful nooklickers safe! But hey if that's not enough for your majesty then fine. Have it all. See all the fuck I give? here right here wow look at that not a single one! Motherfucking miracles"

" are they always like this?"

John laughed "well usually Karkat is yelling at me, but yeah, he's usually like this, I cant tell you much about the others yet"

"now Karkat, I never said that you should not have any ice cream, I was merely pointing out that it is quite unfair that you are withholding the experience of a particular type of ice cream" she crossed her arms

Gamzee was pretty sure he'd have to stand in soon, he didn't want his brother to up and be having fights over ice cream, despite how delicious it was

"I am going to regret this aren't I? You know you will make this up to me"

"No Fuck it. I'm not touching that tasty fecal discharge. I'm over it. I'm making a magnanimous gesture of good will to demonstrate my sheer white hot relief that you've all survived in one piece. Not to mention the acknowledgement of my own hand on this crawling tentacled nightmare that pretty much invalidates any pity parties I'd like to throw. There's me, just sitting alone at my party, fondling myself and crying into the ice-cream till it's all ruined and tastes like reconstituted mucus. At least this way someone gets to enjoy it. So accept it as the fond footlicking gesture it's meant to be and move the fuck on" That metaphor got a little away form him there

Rose looked duly impressed "does he even breath? John I have a suggestion let us make sure this alien and Dave -never- meet"

John laughed "I don't know, I reckon it'd be pretty funny" he snickered "anyway, I'm really gonna go now, talk to your mum about the plane, I'm going to wash off about 16 layers of grime"

"now you are just being immature Karkat" Kanaya crossed her slender arms

Gamzee moved over to Karkat, "I'm feeling like you need to up and take a chill pill bro, why cant we all just be sharing the bounty of our fair John-brothers thermal hull?"

Rose said her goodbyes, half expecting this to be a dream in the end of it all. Its still hard to grasp in the end. But it will at least be entertaining to see how it all plays out.

Karkat just scowls "Fuck off I'm not even hungry. I got to find Sollux's shit so I can dig up whatever He was working on anyway" When in doubt, subject change!

"I think you should do it later Karkat, we should get some sleep first, can you arrange sleeping places for everyone? you know where I put all those blankets and stuff, I cant touch anything else till I'm showered" he put the laptop down

He nodded "We can probably make another couple piles in the sleeping block, you can take your soft plateau and I'll use this one out here. I'll see what I can find" Already planning ahead

"alright, I leave you in charge, don't let them raid my cupboards, I just restocked, uh, explain anything you think needs explaining" he got up going into the bathroom

"is there anything you want us to do, illustrious leader?" Kanaya asked, her voice a little sarcastic

"Oh shut up I don't know. Get comfortable and don't break anything" Looks weary, not having slept much, but what else is new "Look Kan I'm sorry "

Kanaya gave a quirk of a smile "its alright Karkat, I've already forgotten we were arguing" she joked "so what have you learned about the creatures on this planet?" she asked

Gamzee sat next to Tavros, looping an arm over his shoulder

"Not a lot They are called humans, the planet is called urth they speak Alternian but they cant spell. it their government likes to find aliens and cut them into pieces, I guess aliens aren't allowed around here or something? I dunno. They talk like highbloods sometimes, but they all have the same blood colour. their movies are /Fucking Horrible/ abortions of cinematography. the John human might be kind of a freak. Oh and humans have vulnerable pink fleshy nubs on their chest that cause hideous injury if you touch them"

Kanaya nodded "how do they talk like highbloods, Gamzee maybe is not a terribly good example I would assume?" the John human didn't sound much like Gamzee at all

"its a shame we cant read their funny letters, we could look up all sorts of human things on our brothers husktop" he pointed at the laptop

"I guess I could try writing a translation program"

Tavros snuggled into Gamzees side comfortably "Oh I don't know, it seems pretty nice here so far. John is especially nice. How are you so sure the other humans wont like us?"

"we would probably need the aid of John for such a program, we should bring it up with him and Tavros, we must be careful around these humans, you cannot trust everyone because one seems nice, the same way you cannot categorise Trolls as all the same"

"it was a motherfucking miracle that we up and landed near such a nice human, we could have landed near the ones who wanna turn us into soup"

"You think the human can code? don't worry I can get this set up I know it's not what we planned, but I'll make it work don't worry. Fuck we don't even have to conserve resources any more you guys can relax for a while enjoy yourselves. I'm not worried about the other humans I'll handle them"

Kanaya nodded "well should we start making places to sleep then? I am always prepared to help, Gamzee, you should help as well, Tavros is, of course, excused"

Gamzee smacked a kiss onto Tavros' cheek, standing up "point me in the direction you want me working at brother"

Karkat will point them to where his pile was, Between the three of them they will be able to raid the house for anything not nailed down that can be contributed to three piles that will take up most of the available floorspace, leaving the bed free for John Hopefully the boy wont mind the mess though

Tavros is left to fidget and feels useless. Deeply regrets not having his four-wheeled device, but at least the television is a welcome distraction once he figures out how to turn it on

John came out the bathroom, he hadn't been able to put his dirty clothes on, he saw Tavros sitting by himself on the couch, he had the towel wrapped around over his nipples this time, he didn't really mind being shirtless around a guy, not so much a girl, he went upstairs, his room looked like an avalanche had hit "oh geez, guys I need some clean clothes, also Karkat, can you see if I got a bruise on my shoulder? it started hurting again in the shower"

Karkat obliged and moved around to check his back, grumbling something unkind about his soft fleshy exterior Seriously! no armour at all

there was a purple bruise about the size of a fist on his shoulder, a few smaller ones scattered around "is it bad?" he asked, there were a few grazes as well, but they were scabbed over

“A good sized bruise, and a few little cuts. I'm pretty sure you'll survive I'm still completely fucking baffled as to how you aren't dead right now though”

"I'm just lucky like that" he said, moving away from Karkat to pick through the piles, grabbing a grey shirt with a spade on it, and red pyjama pants, "I'm gonna go get changed" he spotted the toaster in one of the piles "take all the electrical stuff back to the kitchen? that's a new rule, no electronics in the piles"

"Its not even plugged in!" But will remove it, will also pull Kanaya and Gamzee aside after John is gone, whispering as best he can "I almost forgot, but keep an eye on the human while he sleeps. He's been doing this 'windy' thing and as far as I can tell it is not a human thing. He keeps denying it so I don't know what is his problem. Just, keep alert"

Kanaya raised an eyebrow "you're sure that it is not a natural thing for humans to do?" she asked, she had no idea what a 'windy thing' was

"is it dangerous brother?" he asked, looking concerned

"he blew the room into a mess once, but no I don't think it is. From what I've seen of their human movies there hasn't been anything mentioning those kind of powers, and John talks as though I've gone shithive maggots whenever I bring it up. What worries me the most is I haven't got the slightest fucking clue as to what it is?"

"we will keep an eye on him, we should be able to work it out" she nodded

John came back into the room, the grey spade shirt fitting well, he noticed that Kanaya and Gamzee were staring at the logo on his shirt, he ignored it "I'm only going to get a few hours sleep, I've gonna call my dad and work out where to get a wheelchair"

even Karkat couldn't help but openly gape Slowly he forced his eyes closed "You guys ready to sleep yet or no"

Kanaya nodded "I believe that some rest is in order, being in stasis is surprisingly not very restful"

"sister had a point, I feel like I haven't slept in a perigee, I better go and get my Tavbro" Gamzee left the room to collect the Taurus

John climbed onto his bed "my shirt isn't offensive is it? you were all kinda staring"

"Humans and their one fucking quadrant. Did I mention it was idiotic? I'm pretty sure I must have waxed poetic about it for an hour" Rubs his head "remember we talked about the calignous quadrant? we'll you are wearing the sign for it. Just a big sexy 'come 'n get it' on your chest like a desperate tool, I know that's not the look you're going for but it kinda suits you"

John looked down at his shirt, pulling it off "I don't think I want a symbol for a quadrant on my shirt, I think I'll just sleep shirtless" he crawled under the blankets

Karkat totally did not snicker evilly just now. Nope. Instead he busied himself helping Gamzee, Tav and Kanaya get settled before slipping out, grabbing a T-shirt and pants on the way. He'll hopefully have the time to wash up and get to his post before John falls fully asleep and starts doing anything strange. Its not a permanent arrangement of course, but just for tonight Karkat would feel more comfortable keeping an eye on John, so close to his friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if someone can tell me how to colour pesterchum text that'd be great


	4. Chapter 4

John watched the trolls get into their piles, Gamzee was curled up around Tavros, humming some nonsense tune, Kanaya was making her pile all different colours, collecting clothing and decorating it, before laying down

John yawned, he could hear the water running downstairs, he started to doze off

At least the warm water helped ease some of the soreness from his bones. He set up his husktop as close to the bedroom as he could without being seen should someone peek out the door. He plopped onto the floor against the wall and set to work, trying to unravel the mystery of the human language while keeping a sharp ear out for the least little breeze of trouble.

The a few hours passed with nary a breeze from John, he woke up feeling more rested, and starving, the last thing he'd eaten being ice cream and popcorn, he carefully got out of bed, not wanting to step on the sleeping trolls

When he heard the movement Karkat quickly scampered to the couch, not wanting to be caught spying but not unwilling to stop his work now that he had just made a significant breakthrough, thanks to a few youtube karaoke videos The grubfuckers wrote backwards!

John was rubbing his eyes as he got downstairs, seeing Karkat on his laptop, he was suddenly really glad he didn't keep any porn on it "hows it going Karkat?" he said, yawning, stretching his arms above his head, his shirtlessness was a little emphasised

"I hate your language" unfortunately glued to the screen for a moment and misses Johns teasing show

John blinked, "what's wrong with it?" he asked, making his way to the kitchen, glad that all his electronics were back, he could still talk to Karkat like this, he decided that he wanted pancakes, he grabbed flour and milk and eggs and stuff

"Its backwards! you know how long it took me to figure that out? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to program this stuff"

"well I didn't know that" he rolled his eyes, putting the ingredients into a bowl, letting the stove heat up "its a miracle that we can understand each other at all"

"As much agony as it causes my pain-sphincter to admit this, you're right A miracle in the literal sense. Which means it makes no fucking sense " He hung his head back and dug viciously at his eyes with the heels of his hands "What are you doing?"

John blinked "making myself some breakfast, I feel like I have a angry monster instead of a stomach, figured I'd make pancakes?, wanna try one?" he asked, pouring some batter in the pan, it sizzled temptingly

Karkat attempts to resist sizzling buttery temptation...damn. He set the computers down in surrender and stomped to the kitchen. He was stopped dead in his tracks by the sight before him. The shirtless John busying himself over the stove making such wonderful smells. And Karkat was certain not all of those enticing smells were coming from the pan

John put the first pancake on a plate, sticking it on the counter for the moment, he didn't realise how he looked cooking pancakes, he assumed he looked kinda gangly, he went to the pantry, grabbing maple syrup, golden syrup and some other things

Karkat shook his head trying to bring himself back to his senses. He could -not- be attracted to an alien. What kind of sick pervert would that make him? Instead he distracted himself by inspecting what was on the plate, giving it an experimental poke

John put the bundle on the bench, moving Karkats hand away from the pancake "ok, so, what you do, is pick a syrup to go on it, I honestly recommend this one" he pointed to the maple syrup, he gave Karkat a knife and fork

Karkat will try pouring a little of the syrup on the knife to test it out the way his eyes light up might give John a hint at his sweet tooth. If not that, then the way he'll be trying to drown the poor pancake

John snickered as the other almost lapped up the syrup, it was mesmerising watching his grey tongue on the knife, he stared a moment longer then was appropriate before turning back to the pan, tipping more butter in

"I don't know about the rest of your human food but this amber sauce is damn good! it tastes like grub food"

"well I suppose that's good, try it with the pancake" he suggested, cooking up a storm of pancakes "do all trolls like sweet food? or is it a you thing?" he asked

"well as a grub you eat whatever you can hunt plus the nectar secreted by the nursing drones. Some trolls kinda grow out of it, but most still see it like a comfort food I guess " that, and Karkat was a sweet-fiend more than most

John nodded "fair enough then, I'll have to see what the others like to eat, because pop tarts are kind of expensive" he put some more pancakes onto a plate

"If we have to we can always hunt I haven't seen any big prey around but there ought to be a few things"

John laughed "no, you just have to learn to like cheaper things" he shook his head, turning the stove off "you like the pancake?" he asked, he drizzled maple syrup onto his pancake, putting on a sprinkle of sugar for good measure

If Karkat could actually taste anything under the puddle of syrup "I can choke it down. Reminds me a bit of Gamzees bread things"

"maybe I'll have to talk to Gamzee about what to feed you guys" he started eating his own pancakes, they were pretty good pancakes, he had some bacon, he might cook that up next, he was starving after all

"Make sure you get more out of him than pies, in fact ask Tavros. He will actually think before he answers that" laps syrup off his fingers with intense concentration

John nodded, his small stack of pancakes was quickly gone, he was too invested in his food to see Karkat licking his fingers "well, I'm gonna cook more food, because at the moment I could still eat a horse" he went to the fridge, grabbing out some bacon

This time will watch him moving around with curiosity "Do you always cook like that?"

John took a moment to wonder what the other meant "oh yeah mean shirtless? sometimes I do, when the weathers nice anyway" he shrugged "I haven't managed to burn myself yet"

"Its just weird to see someone so unguarded, you look like a young barkbeast could sneak up on you right now"

"well we don't have to protect ourself like you guys do, the worst threat I've had to put up with were bullies in high school" he joked, though he was serious, the pan didn't take long to reheat up, so he tossed some bacon in, it was probably going to spit on him, should he get a shirt? he decided that he was manly enough to not need one

"Well you learned to fight at least though, right?"

John shook his head "we've always been encouraged to not fight back" he said, the bacon was starting to pop "I was bullied because I liked to play music instead of play sports like the big guys, and I've always been thin, that makes for easy teasing" he shrugged a little

"That's bullshit! how are you supposed to learn to survive if you are taught not to protect yourself! And you were expected to learn from these grubfisted piss worms? God no wonder your think pan is damaged And now you're probably fucking helpless because some schoolfeeding drone had a major malfunction Maybe you should be culling creatures like that for everyones good"

"my, uh think pan is fine thank you! I passed all of my classes with above average scores, if you want to learn any sort of fighting you had to go to a special school, and when I was young, my dad asked me, 'son what do you wanna do?' and then we had this amazing piano in my house, and I said I wanted to learn that, I don't regret it"

“I'm not saying anything against playing music I just think its moronic not to know how to fight. You're going to learn how to fucking fight"

"but I don't really want to learn? there's no point" he took a bit of crispy bacon out the pan, putting it on a plate, he wondered if Karkat would eat it, he slid it over wordlessly

"I don't want to have to be shadowing you everywhere. Or can you seriously look me in the eye and tell me that there is nothing out there that could ever endanger you. Noone who would ever atta..." Sniffs at the bacon, momentarily distracted as he picks up a piece to inspect

"well I guess that the world isn't a safe place, and there's always a risk of muggers or robbers or whatever, but I don't feel like that's ever been a problem before"

"And you'd rather just float brainlessly along until someone ends your life rather than learn how to defend yourself? what kind of meat is this?"

"I guess learning to defend myself would be good, and its bacon Karkat, it comes from a pig, just put it in your mouth" he served himself up a small pile of bacon

He nodded in satisfaction, tearing through the bacon with finality "then I'll teach you. Done" immediately he was grabbing for another handful of bacon Something to add a little protein to his system

John ate his bacon before Karkat decided to take it all, after the pancakes and bacon John was finally feeling not hungry any more, he let out a long sigh

Karkat stretched and squirmed "Are we going to find a four-wheel device? or maybe build one?"

"probably buy one, I really wish you could come with me" he sighed "reckon I could put a hat on you and call it a skin condition?" he joked, grabbing their plates

"I could pass for a shitty human Besides who will keep you safe from getting robbed to death"

John couldn't help but giggle at the phrase 'robbed to death' but he sighed "I probably shouldn't take you with me, I mean I have a hat you could wear to cover your horns, and sunglasses over your eyes, but what if you say something or do something that gives it away? you'd have to be on your best behaviour Karkat"

"you saying I cant blend? I am a stealth savant! I'm a silent shadow creeping through the trees you wont notice I'm there will after I've choked you to death with your own intestines"

John laughed "alright alright, you can come, I'll grab your hat" he put the plates in the sink for now, getting the hat and some clothes for himself coming back down, tossing the hat to Karkat

Karkat caught the hat, but took care going to leave a message for his friends just in case they wake while the boys are gone. Firm instructions to stay put and not to break anything or attract attention. Karkat also collected a hoodie to add extra insurance and protection against the sun. Truth be told he's actually a bit nervous, but more than ready to go when John is, sickles carefully concealed in his specibus

John quickly got changed, not wearing the spade shirt, wearing just a reasonably plain white one "ready to go shopping?" he asked, grabbing his wallet and mobile "you look pretty good, we can say you're dressed for a costume party I guess" he said

"I just want to see how dangerous this world of yours really is" And maybe keep an eye on John along the way not to say he's being protective or anything! oh no.

"fair enough" he left his house, locking the door after Karkat exited "we have to buy a wheel chair, and more food, geez, you're all gonna eat me out of house and home"

Karkat scowled. John was trying to help, but he kept coming back to his worries about the food Karkat decided to lay off Johns supplies. Especially with the others to worry about, going back to whatever rations he can salvage may help stretch their resources He adjusted the shades tighter over his face "only till we go eat your friends house"

John laughed, he didn't mean to worry about food so much "at least I have an idea to what you like now, and I don't have to waste time buying things to test" he got in the car, winding his window down

It took him a moment to work out the door but seemed comfortable enough sliding in beside John. Perhaps trolls have cars, or at least something akin to them "well I am a bit more into sweets than the others. You cant go wrong with meat and protein, Kan likes vegetables, she even had a garden, but she's kind of weird. Like Gamzee and his baking. But overall your human meat seems ok to eat, not really the same as grub-meat but not bad"

John nodded "alright then, then I probably done need to buy as much as I thought, I have a bunch of meat at home" the car took off, heading for the local town

Rolled down his window, sticking his head out for a better look, though he was at least cautious enough to keep a hand on his hat

John firstly went to the medical supply store deciding to get the wheelchair first, parking his car out the front

Karkat followed John Constantly forgetting how nonchalant he was supposed to be acting. Karkat kept staring around him in wonder at the sheer alien-ness of the place everything was so familiar and yet so off

John went into the store, looking around for wheelchairs, finding them after a little bit of looking, they were pretty expensive, but he had to get one, he couldn't leave Tavros stuck on the couch or being carried around like some kind of teacup poodle, he picked one of the cheaper ones

Karkat stuck protectively close to John the entire time, nodding his approval at Johns choice as though he could tell the fucking difference. Though cant imagine Gamzee would be too upset at the teacup poodle option. So many accidental gropings

John carried the wheelchair to the counter and paid, the clerk gave Karkat a funny look but John pulled his attention away paying for the chair

Karkat had to actively battle the urge to growl. Instead just sinking further into his hoodie and glare, just daring him to start anything

John unconsciously reached out, patting Karkat on the shoulder, thanking the clerk "c'mon, we still have to buy supplies" he explained starting to leave the store, wheelchair folded under his arm

Wont talk until they are outside the store "is everyones hair a different colour? is that how you tell people apart instead of blood?"

John shook his head "humans skin and hair are all different colours, but I guess that's one way to tell people apart" he put the wheelchair into the car "I think I'll have to buy you guys clothes, you cant wear the same thing, my clothes hardly fit you and all your muscles, and my clothes will probably fit Tavros, but my shirts and pants will be laughably small on Gamzee and I cant get a girl to wear my clothes"

Damn Karkat had been hoping that in all the excitement John hadn't noticed that Karkat was easily the shortest of the four trolls, but there was to be no such luck "Kanaya can always help us make something if she sees enough human fashion and we bring her some thing to work with"

"oh she can sew? that's pretty impressive, and I guess I could buy her magazines and clothes and stuff" he rubbed his chin, starting up the car "I'm pretty sure I have a sewing machine buried somewhere"

"Can she sew. What she does is not merely sewing it is an endless torment of still poses and sharp needles in terrible places. Terrible places! And ending on horrifyingly colourful and fashionable pieces of shame you -must- wear or she'll do that lip wobble thing and I don't see what is wrong with just T-shirts! and black always matches with black I mean how can black be -different- than black? and fashion is stupid"

John blinked "she sounds talented, I can barely find a pair of socks that match, let alone a whole outfit, but I've always been bad at fashion, I just buy whatever, usually what I have looks good enough together, I have a few tips from Rose, like don't wear all the same colour, and don't wear socks and sandals I'm sure she told me more, but I cant remember them now" fashion was an alien subject to him, he laughed in his mind

“There's no point to it all anyway As long as it covers you all up and has your sign on it, what does it matter?"

"oh, what is it with you guys and signs?" he asked "cause you all have a logo on your shirt, and it doesn't seem like a fashion statement, not to mention you nearly freaked out when you were wearing my ghost slime shirt"

"Your sign is -your sign- It's more intimately tied to you than your name in mysterious ways dictated by fate. Wearing someone else's sign would be considered either criminal impersonation if its someone you don't know or if its someone you do know well something way more intimate" Fighting a blush and failing miserably

John understood exactly what Karkat meant "well I assure you, humans don't have signs, so you don't have to worry about anything" he assured him, driving to the super market

"you have too many signs" he tugged his hat lower over his ears "What's this?"

"ok I'll phrase that better, we don't have signs that matter, and this is the super market, what food do we need?" he didn't think this through very well

"I don't know what half your human foods even are. We're going to have to guess and if they don't like it we'll just shove their own fists down their protein chutes"

John nodded "well I'll just buy normal stuff then" he got out the car heading for the store "oh, and just don't touch anything? ok? if you want something just point it out or whatever"

"I'm not a wiggler you know" Even as he says that marches across the asphalt without regard of any cars currently in motion

John grabs the collar of his shirt to stop him from walking in front of a car "look out for cars too, I wanna bring home a troll not a pancake"

Karkat growled at the retreating car in warning, but will try to stick closer to Johns side, pulling his hood up over his hat "He should have stopped"

"but they don't Karkat, what happened to your fighting skills? a one ton vehicle could creep up on you" he joked as they got into the store

"I could take it" will make a dour face at him, but paused as he looks around. He seemed especially fascinated by the families

"Why are there young here without guardians?"

"guardians? their parents are there with them" he explained

"What the fuck are parents?" He tired to watch them without being obvious about it

"well, it takes two humans to make a baby, and they usually they take care of the baby until its old enough to go out into the world, but there are always cases where the parents cant or don't want to look after the baby"

"The adults look after the young I know I'm gonna regret this but...How can two humans possibly make a grub?"

"uh I'm probably gonna have to explain it somewhere more private, its usually something that isn't spoken about in public" he probably had a blush on his face "if you still want to know later I'll explain it?" he really hoped that he didn't

"….I think the way to go with this is no. I can live the rest of my life never needing to know that"

John nodded thankfully "alright then, we'll get some vegetables I think, maybe some more bacon too"

Karkat was already finding it very difficult to keep his hands to himself, especially when some things are sitting out in plain sight begging to be tasted He blatantly ignored John as he drifted closer to the goodies, stuffing his hands on his pockets to remind himself to behave but there was just so much to look at

John was keeping an eye on Karkat, he was surprised how little attention he was getting, he didn't want Karkat to just bite into something like he had been at his house "hey, Karkat, see anything you want?" he asked

Karkat remembered his self-made promise and shook his head firmly, backing away from a prominent and colourful display of kids cereal "I didn't touch anything!" Tucks into himself defensively

John raised an eyebrow "I never said that you did, I was asking if you wanted something?" he walked over looking at the cereal, grabbing one of the boxes "is this the one?"

"I don't need any of that I don't even know what it is. Something made out of birds I think. It just looked similar to some stuff from home is all. I was curious"

John gave him a puzzled look "what's the matter with you?"

"I'm tired. It's ungodly early, the suns still even up I cant be held responsible for my own idiocy"

John nodded "we'll head home soon, then you can get some sleep" he assured him, he got the bacon, and the packet of cereal that Karkat had been looking at, hoping it would get him out of his weird funk

Karkat stuck close to him, his terse little troll shadow. He struggled to tear his attention between staring at everything in fascination and glaring death-daggers at anyone who wandered too close to John. Though it was difficult to really tell behind his shades he's still quite good at making people uncomfortable regardless

he paid for everything, putting it on Karkats lap when they got into the car "hold that, the boot is full of wheelchair"

"Gah why are you trying to crush me beneath edibles!" He wrapped his arms around them to keep them in place. Still keeping alert and wary He eagerly anticipated the return to the safety of Johns house so he could relax his guard a little, though there was still so much to see. He needed to figure out what Sollux was working on right away. Then he could be free to explore 'as soon as he got back' he promised himself.

"you probably should get some sleep, or I'll have to force you" he joked, he had a feeling that Karkat hadn't slept at all when he'd had his nap, and all the work on the ship had surely tired him.

Nor did he have much at all his first time trying to rest. Plus not any at all during Johns last nap either. All because of john's rotten windy thing. Rude! "I'm fine! I already slept" It doesn't count as a lie if he doesn't specify when

"I don't think I believe you, if you keep being difficult I'll hold you down on the bed and sleep with you" he threatened jokingly

"You wouldn't dare. Besides you're such a skinny fuck I could sneeze you off me"

"how do you know I wouldn't dare?" he taunted "and you'd be an awful guest if you started throwing me around"

"In case you haven't noticed I am awful, that is pretty much the perfect description of my permanent state of being and I know you wouldn't dare because I'm a fucking killer alien from space with sharp points coming out of my every gaping orifice, you'd have to have a thinksponge the size of a fuzzfruit. What the fuck am I saying. Of course you'd dare"

John couldn't argue, so he just grinned, the car pulling up at his house "so are you gonna sleep?"

"Fuck You. Take your rations off me" But come to think of it, he couldn't put it past John to try something "I'll take a nap soon I just have to grab some things from the ship I didn't get to bring yesterday"

John took the food "I'll go with you then, just let me put all this inside"

"I don't need your help, and you need to keep an eye on the others in case they wake up soon" Hops out and closes the door "Don't worry, there will be plenty to force you to carry later, we're going to have to salvage whatever we can before we destruct it"

"hmm well alright" he said, going towards the house "I'm probably going to have another nap, you better be sleeping when I wake up!!"

Waved him off dismissively. He just needed to retrieve Sollux's things, and that was definitely a thing he would rather do alone, without anyone to witness any embarrassing emotional outbursts Just that just that then he'd sleep

John put everything away, bringing the wheelchair in, leaving it folded up for now. in his room all the trolls were still sleeping, he practically collapsed on his bed after taking his shoes off

Poor John like throwing all your money and energy and time into a deep dark pit and only getting sleepy and cranky aliens out of it

Meanwhile Karkat will be investing his time deciding what can be salvaged and listing them, gathering up Solluxs things, remembering but most importantly trying to see how far along Sollux had been on those illusion disguises. Please please let it be almost done he didn't want to let anyone down and the human world really didn't seem so bad

to Karkats luck the devices seemed to fairly done, it was clear enough what Sollux's plan had been in regards to the devices. Had Sollux known that this was going to happen? had he known he'd die in the crash? the answer died with he troll, among his supplies was a husktop, a lot of wires, his bee's had not survived the crash

Wouldn't put it past that smug nookfisting ass hole to have known about this all along. That was just the sort of thing he'd do. he even probably tauntingly mentioned it to Karkat once or twice, Karkat wracked his brain trying to remember anything he said to that effect, but when Sollux got in such a state Karkat tended to tune him out.

After recovering from his latest bout of memory Karkat decided to try and finish the illusion devices now while he had the chance. Johns house lacked the space and the equipment. It only made sense really, to take the time to do it now. His eyes were a little blurry, but sleep could wait a little while longer. He worked on past sunset, forgetting all else

John woke up after a handful of hours, frowning when Karkat wasn't there, he wondered of he should go and get him, what if something had happened? if he still wasn't home he was going to have to go and find him, while he waited he cleaned up and put all the shopping away neatly

Gamzee woke up as the sun was setting, he stroked Tavros' hair, losing himself in the feeling of his soft hair

Tavros shifted, burying his face further into Gamzees side, trying to cling to the last of his sleep and warm pillow just a moment longer.

Gamzee smiled, his flushbrother was the cutest damn thing "hey Tav, wakey wakey, the suns down" he sung softly, he lightly scratched his scalp, "I hear our alien friend moving around downstairs"

He propped his chin up on Gamzee's chest, smiling in return "Its kind of nice, you know, sleeping on the ground, that s not moving or anything"

Gamzee nodded "I think its pretty damn sweet that we can see things other then stars" he pulled Tavros a little tighter, rubbing his nose on hie forehead

"I didn't mind that so much, because, well, when I got bored of stars I could definitely just look at you?" Would be embarrassed by his own forwardness were he not so self-confident

Gamzee gave him a toothy grin "well bro, I don't think I could ever get tired of your pretty face, but I cant be up and staring all the time"

"Uh, Well how long can you stay here? Or do you need to see the alien maybe?" Damn but he missed his four-wheel device

"well I was thinking of maybe rustling us up some delicious foodstuff, I'll carry you down bro, and you can perch your sweet derriere on his couch"

"well, ok. Real food can be better than a good pile, I think"

Gamzee nodded, sitting up he carefully picked the brown blood up, standing up, stepping carefully over the still sleeping Kanaya, heading downstairs

John heard movement on the stairs, seeing Gamzee carrying Tavros, he was obviously trying his best not to accident bump the smaller troll into the walls, he greeted John with a hearty "eeevening", John smiled "I got you a present Tavros, its next to the couch"

The troll perked up. He looked immediately that way and broke out into a joyful smile "Oh! You, you found a four wheeled device!" Its odd his his teeth can be so much longer and sharper than Karkats and yet manage to look so much less threatening

John nodded and smiled "yep, its just waiting for someone to sit in it", Gamzee walked over, sitting in the chair himself, Tavros on his lap, "like this bro?" he asked, John laughed "exactly like that, good job"

Tavros laughed "I think it might be, a little hard to work the wheels, being this way"

"oh I guess that you're motherfucking right, I better put you in your wheeled device" he hefted them up easily, Tavros weighed barely anything to him, he put Tavros into the chair "comfy bro?" he smiled, his fangs were probably the most threatening of the 4

He gives it a test, turning in a tight circle "Wow! Um, it's actually a lot better then the one I had, and it looks like new. This is so nice!" He looked to John, looking a little overwhelmed "Thanks, uh, you definitely didn't have to"

John shook his head "its fine, I cant very well leave you stranded on the couch" he assured him, he didn't mind spending the money, it had obviously made him a very happy alien "you guys want some food? I was just thinking of cooking up some dinner, and then going to find Karkat, cause I haven't seen him in a while"

Gamzee frowned "hope he's ok, do you want us to go get him? while you up and make us some food?" he was concerned for his pale brother, he was always working himself sick

Tavros positioned himself beside Gamzee "Where did he go?"

"he said he wanted to find stuff in the ship, so he's probably still there" John worried "I hadn't meant to sleep as long as I did"

"its ok brother, we'll go find that tiny little motherfucker and bring him all back here" Gamzee smiled "just have us some food for when we're back"

Tavros reassured John with a small smile of his own "Yeah he probably just forgot the time, we can get him"

"yeah you're probably right, anyway, you two go and I'll wait here" 

"come on brother, lets go and give your new wheels a test run" Gamzee strolled out the house, waving at John as he left

And Tavros hot on his heels. It wasn't not a long way to the ship but Tavros still got a little chance to show off. So proud of his new ride, wondering if he could paint flames on it or something equally as impressive 

Karkat remained where he had been, hunched over a work-table, trying to chase every last bug out of the systems. No single glitch could be tolerated he's so close to finished, just another hour, just one more and he'd be done. Never mind he'd been saying that same thing for half the day

Gamzee entered the ship, "hey there Karbro!" he called "are you all up and alive in this place?"

Karkat tried to blink the blurriness out of his dry eyes "Ow fuckdamnit. What do you want? I'm busy"

Gamzee followed the voice, finding him in a nearby room "well bro, our good friend John is worrying himself sick wondering where you are all up and at?" he put his hands on his hips, "out good brother is extending the hand of friendship, and you're making him fret"

"He knows where I am. But apparently he must have concentrated too hard on tying his shoes and the excess activity elbowed the knowledge out of his cramped miniature of a thinkpan. Well you can go tell him I'm fine and, in case I haven't mentioned, Fucking busy!"

"Bro, this isn't a fact collecting mission, we've got orders to bring you home for some food and sleep, I'm sure that your little doohickey can wait until after you've had some food and rest" Gamzee was trying to use his moirail powers, moving closer to Karkat

He scowled at the stubborn devices "I'm almost finished, Just a little more time I don't want to lose my place. Picking up after Sollux's shit story of my life"

"how much is a little? because John is making us some food, and I told him you'd be there to eat" put his hands onto Karkats shoulders, rubbing slightly, his brother was always working himself sick, it made Gamzee feel like a bad moirail

"Thirty minutes,, maybe an hour" he let his hands rest on the work-table That felt unexpectedly good. He may have been hunching over a little longer than he originally thought "Not too long"

"that's a little too long bro, are you sure you couldn't take a break to eat?" he persuaded him, rubbing his shoulders "you can come straight back if you really want, but you're pretty tired" his voice was smooth

His eyes drifted closed, leaning into Gamzees hands unconsciously "I'm not hungry. I'm just so close I cant think" He sighed. He had promised himself to use the rations so John could focus on feeding the other trolls, but maybe just this once "Maybe just for a bite"

Gamzee smiled "that's my palest of bro's, we'll get you some food so your think pan can be up and thinking at maximum capacity, then you can work out your technological magic" he carefully moved Karkat away from the bench

He at least had the presence of mind to turn off the light, grab the bag of supplies he'd set aside. And scowl at Tavros who was lingering in the doorway wearing a face one usually reserves for watching puppies play

Gamzee smiled walking over to Tavros "do we need to carry anything else brother? while you have 4 extra arms? also, have you noticed the completely awesome ride that our Tavbro has?"

"Yeah I followed him when he went to get stuff. When he said this place was less dangerous he wasn't kidding, its everything you'd expect from a race made of marshmallows." He shoulders the bag "We'll raid the ship later for anything that's not bolted down that might be vaguely useful. This is the last chance we're going to get to have anything decently made"

"really bro? marshmallows?" Gamzee started staring off into space about a marshmallow species "reckon they taste like marshmallows bro?"

"As of this moment you are forbidden from tasting any humans" Just best to cover ones bases

Gamzee sighed, he hadn't ACTUALLY intended to eat the humans, it was just a thought "you never let me have any fun"

"I'm your moirail, that's my job, Keeping you from doing every dumbfuck thing that meanders lazily across your thinkpan, because it usually ends up being a bad fucking plan. So no. No fun" Karkat had even voiced objections to Gamzee coming in the first place. Gamzee stood the most to lose no matter what went on. If they had left without him he would have lost two quadrants in one go. Not to mention the possibility of losing his sanity should the subjugglators take too much on an interest in him, without Karkat there to keep an eye on him. On the other hand, in coming along, he lost out on the possibility of a life of privilege and respect. In addition he would probably never be able to fill his black or ashen quadrants, and in a troll like Gamzee, that was not just sad and tragic, it could be dangerous too. Of course Karkat caved easily in the end because it's what Gamzee wanted. But there were still strong fears lurking under the surface.

Gamzee didn't see leaving Alternia as a loss for him, his moirail and matesprit were on the culling list, Tavros for his legs and Karkat for his blood, all the faygo on Alternia couldn't have convinced him to stay, not to mention they needed his more then modest funds to buy the ship they used to get here. The subjugglators were always bugging him 'Makara, cull these' 'Makara, why wont you wear your Subjugglator uniform' 'Makara, how many times are you going to skip your subjugglation training?', it was just too much noise for Gamzee.

Still has to worry about him, like an over-doteing mother. Even as he complains and curses the way the word 'miracle' has wound its way more and more into his everyday vocabulary. He kicks up a little dust as he shambles, he can feel the days catching up with him

Gamzee frowned at Karkats shuffle walk "do you want me to up and carry you brother? you look dead on your feet" Karkat always said no, but he had to keep trying

he didn't even bother saying anything. The poisonous look he shoots Gamzees way says his intent clearly enough. Doesn't like being reminded of his shortness and how everyone can pick him up, even Kanaya. Just not fair

Gamzee just continued walking after him, his palemate could be so prickly sometimes, Gamzee just wanted to pick him up and cuddle his problems away, he felt like it had been a long time since they had a proper feelings jam

Stomped his way into the house. Shooting John a look cause he's a dang traitor! His mind far away from piles right now, all on lists

John gave Karkat a relieved smile "oh man, I was getting worried, thought you might have passed out or something" he said, setting up the 5 plates of food, Kanaya had woken up and asked to use his bathroom. The plates were covered in a variety of foods

Gamzee grabbed two plates, handing one to Tavros, eating the food with little fuss

He sat "I told you I had shit to do" He snatched up a plate of food himself, being conservative about what he grabs, before he sat "those illusion devices were pretty raw, but I almost got them working, something might actually go right for once"

John blinked "oh I remember that, I'm still waiting for Rose to get back to me about the plane, so you still have some time" he grabbed his plate, eating his potatoes "don't make yourself sick"

"I've got a superior immune system, we discussed this" rested his head in his hand "right Kan?"

"its not your immune system, you can get sick from not sleeping" John rolled his eyes, spearing a chunk of the battered meat, putting it into his mouth

Kanaya grabbed the remaining plate "do you know exactly what the holograph projector does?" she asked

“Projects holograph disguise Gotta program it with a fleshy human face" He poked at his food

"oh, that will be quite useful for the trip to the Rose humans house, or even exploring this odd planet without worrying about being caught or injured"

John was very impressed, the holoprojecter sounded like something straight out of a movie

He nodded, keeping his eyes on his food actually they were more closed than anything. Tavros helpfully picked up the slack "We can get things from the ship later, there might be other, kind of, helpful things"

Gamzee got a wicked grin on his face "yeah, like a motherfucking bucket!" he started laughing loudly, he was being incredibly inappropriate

John looked confused "what are you going to do with a bucket? clean?"" unless they were going to play pranks or something, and he had plenty of pranking buckets

Kanaya looked a little mortified at Gamzee

Tavros promptly turns a brilliant shade of brown, seeing as how there is only one couple here in a pailing quadrant

Karkat's chin slips off his hand and nearly sending him face-first into his plate "GAMZEE! what the FUCK?!? We're eating here! NOONE wants to be hearing about your disgusting clown SEX LIFE! You're loud enough as it is everyone on the ship can hear you we don't need the blow-by-blow!"

Tavros begins actively trying to sink into the floor and vanish

Gamzee just kept laughing, finding his joke a lot funnier then he should "aww brother, I'm just playing around, y'all are too serious" he and Tavros probably wouldn't be filling a pail for a while anyway, he dropped a hand on Tavros' head

John looked very confused "are we talking about the same kind of buckets?"

Karkat looks at him in disbelief "What kind of buckets do you have??"

He made a outline of a bucket shape in there air "about that big, and you put soapy water in them and then clean up or whatever, I guess you can carry liquid around in them too? I like to use them for pranks sometimes"

"Cleaning? eugh disgusting then what do you use for...you know? "

"I guess you don't /have/ to use anything? I honestly don't know what you guys use the bucket for"

Karkat folds his arms on the table and hides his face in them "Kan. You take this one. I quit. I'm done. I am temporarily abdicating leadership in all matters of alien relations and education. Congratulations soldier. Good Fucking luck"

Kanaya shook her head "I am sorry Karkat, but you were the one who asked about human mating, I think you should be the one to deal with the consequences"

John suddenly really didn't want to know "look, lets forget the subject came up"

Tavros squeaks "second!"

John nodded "ok I think that no more sex talk, if you wanna talk about it, do it in private" 

Gamzee nodded in agreement, he didn't get why it was something that noone talked about

Karkat still refuses to come up! distrust Gamzee and his shenanigans

Tavros tries for change of subject "So, um, this place we're going, what's it like? And the girl, your friend?"

John was happy for the change of subject "well where we're going is pretty far I guess, she lives in a pretty cold place I spose, she has a big house, and she lives by herself, she used to live with her mum but her mum moved out, Rose is one of my oldest friends, I had a crush on her once upon a time, but I realise now that I was pretty stupid, she is always reading all these weird books and she writes a lot, you have to be careful though, if you say the wrong thing she'll start digging through your head" Gamzee's eyes widened, taking him seriously

Kanaya liked the sound of this rose girl

Tavros debated on asking what a mum was, but decided he didn't want to sound foolish, nor did it seem really relevant to the conversation "Are you going to stay there with us? I mean, we don't want to inconvenience you, well more than we are already, which is a lot, sorry But it would be nice if you could cause, well we know you, kind of"

"haha, like I'm gonna fly you all off to be psychoanalysed by my spooky friend!, nope, we're all in this together I'm afraid" he smiled "and you guys aren't inconveniencing me at all! this is the most fun I've had in years", he will have to pack pretty soon, as soon as he had an idea from Rose

"I'm not sure what psychoanals are, but, um, they sound pretty unpleasant"

Rose will probably call sometime after dinner, she always did seem to have strangely good timing for these sorts of things. But dinner was evidently cut short for Karkat as the others continued to talk, he continued not to move, leaving his food barely touched. In fact he soon began snoring ever so softly

"I suppose that I'm making it sound worse that it is, but it can be pretty creepy sometimes" John finished, putting his plate in the sink, hearing the smallest noise, hardly snoring, more like loud breathing, John lowered his voice "Gamzee, could you take him upstairs?" he whispered

Gamzee nodded, he had known that Karkat was falling asleep, he hadn't wanted to mention anything, cause he'd just wake himself up, he carefully picked Karkat up

Karkat hardly batted and eyelash at being moved, instead he just snuggled into the warmth of Gamzees chest. Yes it was Karkats dirty little secret that he often prayed only Gamzee knows. he was a unstoppable sleep-snuggler

John thought that Karkat looked incredibly cute cuddled up against Gamzee's chest


	5. Chapter 5

Gamzee carefully carried the red blood up the stairs, it was moments where he was carrying Karkat around that he felt like he was doing his job as moirail properly, he settled the cancer onto one of the more choice piles

Getting him up and down wasn't the hard part though, it was escaping the cuddle-beast that is the true challenge It was not just the sleep-cuddling, but for all his yelling and insults Karkats was truly and deeply enamoured with Gamzees, making him extra clingy and affectionate when his defences were down

Gamzee smiled as Karkat was clinging to him, maybe he should stay with Karkat, he didn't get to cuddle him very often, Gamzee laid them both down, holding Karkat to his chest, he was the most pitiful thing, always so tense, keeping to himself, trying not to get people to worry, he rubbed his face into Karkats hair, gently stroking his fingers through it

When Gamzee didn't come back home he assumed that Gamzee stayed with him, Karkat had looked like a kitten, a short burly kitten

A small sound vibrated against Gamzee, somewhere below his breastbone. Little noises of appreciation and pure trusting content that Karkat would try to contain when fully awake. But Gamzees gentle fingers had a way of drawing them out. Better than sopor

Tavros volunteered himself to help with the clean up. With dinner/breakfast? complete, almost as if on cue rose would be pestering John as well

John answered the blonde, choosing video chat "how do you have such good timing Rose? geez, we seriously just put the last plate away, also, how are you?"

Gamzee felt himself making the same vibrating noise as Karkat, he loved it when Karkat was so trusting like this

"I am currently in mortal danger. This prank of yours John has placed me in peril, whereupon I have become the cliched cat in a moral lesson of immeasurable age. I must compliment you plan John, it possesses an element of insidiousness I was not aware you were capable of. Seeming insignificant and even laughable at first, but slowly growing in ominous import and I was allowed to ruminate. I understand now, it was not some unlucky product of exploration or an errant car, but the sheer crushing weight of the curiosity itself that was the unfortunate felines undoing...... How are you?"

He'd woken a little, tensing slightly as he became more aware of his surroundings. But as he did he came to the crucial decision that the rest of the world could go fuck itself. There was nowhere better or more important to be than right here. He melts back into Gamzees arms and mumbles as he lets himself drift "m'glad you'r ok"

John gave Rose a worried and confused look "what are you saying Rose? I don't understand, are you in danger?", pretty much he understood nothing of what she said

Gamzee smiled "well brother, I'm glad you're all up and ok too, I was worrying my think pan into knots when you were up and telling me to get into the pod before you" he spoke softly, the words almost indistinguishable from his purring

Rose managed to keep her long-suffering sigh, a relatively quiet one But she could not be held responsible for magnitude of the eye-roll She is only human "No John. Just...never mind. How are your visitors?"

"Asshol' Sollux pushed me in wouln' let me get him in a tube. I'm sorry Gamzee. I fucked it all up"

"oh everyone's really good, Karkat is sleeping upstairs with Gamzee, they left us to do the dishes" he pretended to be insulted, "you been summoning any horror terrors, or whatever it is that you get up to?" he joked

"naw bro, our departed Solbro knew exactly what he was doing, remember he's always had a funny knack of when people are gonna die, remember when his palesister Aradia went onto the next world? he knew that it was coming"

"If by summoning horrorterrors you mean telephoning my mother for advice? then yes, and I applaud your observational skills. We have been presented with a solution to our little dilemma. Apparently my mothers drunken exploits of youth have produced a good deal of blackmail material in both directions. As you see I am speechless in shock. She has given me the telephone number of a pilot who, as she puts it, 'owes her a solid'sies'”

"Well he could have warned us at least. But that's part of it. If he didn't have to die to get us down safe he would have been able to fix the ship. It was fixable, I just fucked it up because I didn't take the core apart and inspect it -before- trying to test it. I had my head stuffed squarely up my nook and decided; why not blow the ship to colourful confetti so I can be a lazy ass and cut corners"

"oh seriously?!" John bounced in excitement "I knew that I loved you for a reason! I could almost kiss the screen" this was fantastic news, he wasn't going to have to borrow money from his dad "did she mention when we could talk to this pilot?"he asked

"aww brother, if it had of been me trying to fix that fancy ol' core I wouldn't even know which was was up, it's not so bad here, our bro John seems dead set on seeing us somewhere safe, and I gotta admit he seems like a pretty trustworthy guy"

"She has already talked to him, you can call him whenever you are prepared, he is simply awaiting your word Tell him Rolal sent you. Oh and your father requested I make certain you are eating enough, to be sure you got to sleep on time. Oh yes and that he is exceedingly proud of you for making new friends and the fact that you are going through such lengths to help a friend in need like a true gentleman I was somewhat nebulous on the actual nature of your new 'friends', but I have a feeling the truth would do nothing to dampen his pride. I have reminded him about the dangers of pride, before the fall and whatnot But his confidence in you seems unflappable We might expect a cake sent by mail order. I sincerely hope he was joking"

He nuzzled deeper into Gamzees chest, trying to ignore a weak flutter of embarrassment circling uncomfortably around his stomach "Yeah, ray of fucking moonlight in all this. I know saying this is going to completely bite me in the ass, because I've seen enough movies to know how this works, but he makes me think...we might still really end up ok. That maybe I haven't irrevocably doomed us all"

"I don't think he was joking, Dad is never joking when it comes to cake and being proud, I'm really really glad he approves of me helping 4 people, I'll probably bring him in the loop soonish, I'll call this pilot and tell him to pick us up tomorrow or the next day, cause I have to pack everything" he ran a hand through his hair "well really, thanks a ton for letting us stay, just tell me how I can make it up to you" 

Gamzee laughed softly, started to run his fingers through his hair again, scratching his scalp softly "well brother I think that we're all gonna be alright, and you didn't doom us any more then Tav and I did" he soothed

She smiled without showing any teeth, but sweet nonetheless "Don't worry John I will" Her voice was of a tone to send shivers down his spine

"hmmrrfuqfff" his mumbles drifted off to his contented rumble again, stronger this time "It'll be ok m'promise somehow 'll make it ok" his eyes refuse to stay open, so he gives up

John gave a nervous laugh, scratching at his neck "well talk to Kanaya and Tavros while I call this pilot and arrange the flight" he passed the laptop to Kanaya, who held it awkwardly

Rose raised a single delicate eyebrow, watching the troll expectantly

Kanaya gave her a polite smile "hello Rose, John mentioned that you like to write, I find myself to be an avid reader, maybe one day when I can recognise your strange runes you might show me your work?"

She nodded "I have been known to dabble here and there, though I am not sure my writings sill so easily bridge the interspecies gap"

"I can think of no finer way to close the interspecies gap then to maybe share literature, I find myself to be quite enamoured by tales of Rainbow drinkers, and Romance is always a welcome addition to my library"

She tilts her head slightly "I have no lack of romance, but what precisely is a rainbow drinker?" Was it strange of her to find this alien so elegant? dare she say beautiful

"oh, I am sure you must have some sort of equivalent in your culture, sneaking into their hive in the dead of night, leaning over the sleeping troll and drinking their life fluid from their elegant neck" she found Rose to be a intriguing human, she had to know more about her

She chuckled in amusement "we call them vampires I don't believe I have any stories about vampires at the moment, but if it would help you to learn to read I may be persuaded to try my hand at one. It is not an uninteresting topic "

"well I would like to hope that you would be there to assist me should I not be able to understand any words or terms" she really looked forward to spending time with the blonde, she figured she might as well mention it "I really look forward to spending some time with you, there is only so much time that a lady can spend among the company of men before she craves a females company, oh, that is assuming that you are a female, I'm afraid I don't know much about your species"

she propped her elbows on her desk and twined her fingers in front of her, resting her lips on her thumbs "Now that does present an interesting cultural experiment. How would you classify a female, what characteristics are the deciding factor?"

"oh, well, I suppose the physical differences between our species bodies are minuscule at most, generally you find yourself leaning towards a particular set of gender ideals, usually by the time we are 6 sweeps old you should have a gender decided"

Her eyebrow arched delicately "most interesting. Well I will tell you I am indeed female. And I look forward to another female presence as well. My house is large, though not as lonely as John would paint it, I merely appreciate my privacy, But I confess to at times it seems a tad much"

Kanaya gave her a smile "John mentioned that you have an interest in knitting, and while it was not a passion that I pursued on Alternia, I found myself more pursuing the art of sewing, it has been something I've been meaning to pick up"

"I'm afraid my friends have yet to really appreciate the art. Well, apart from a singular, near disastrous, attempt at yarn-bombing at a zoo by a very ambitious John. But its something I highly recommend. It's calming and gives one time to think, I could certainly teach you if you like"

"it is a shame that I do not have a skill that I can teach in return, unless you're interested in the art of using a chainsaw as a weapon"

Seems taken aback "I must admit I have never had need of a weapon let alone such an impressive one. I shudder to consider the potential properties of the trees on your home world. Regardless I have no doubt there will be plenty you can teach me I have to confess I am very curious about you in general"

Kanaya wondered if that was a romantic solicitation of some sort, she found the blonde to be very interesting, maybe it would be interesting to knowing more about her "we are sure to be able to learn much from each other"

"And our races, in the spirit of interracial relations" Something in her tone indicates solicitation might definitely be an element of what is going on here "it'll be worth dealing with John and a few buckets over the doorways"

at the mention of buckets Kanaya was unable to stop the bright green blush over her face, she knew that humans didn't use buckets for sexual reasons, but that thought came after the first "well I uh certainly hope that it does not happen to me, buckets are not commonly used in pranks"

"Are you alright? You are looking a bit peaked?" Having forgotten who had what colour blood

"oh, no I'm just a little embarrassed, buckets are I guess something that relates to us creating genetic material, I suppose it is an immature reaction"

"Buckets" She seems at a momentary loss for words "This experience may be far more educational than I thought. So these 'implements' are for some sort of food production or reproduction?"

"would you like me to explain it? I cannot promise that I wont blush myself into a coma, but me of the four of us is the most well equipped to explain troll reproduction, it was expected of my caste"

"It may be prudent to save us from any embarrassing misunderstandings in the future" Her hands lower and her expression flickers with something that could only be described as predatory "I am all ears miss Kanaya"

It should also be noted that if Tavros was anywhere within earshot of this conversation he would be absconding the fuck outta there riiiight now

Kanaya nodded, taking a breath to steel her nerves, the human female looked dangerously attractive, she decided to explain as much as she could as quickly as she could "well, our species has 4 types of romance, 2 of them are romances that are reproductive, when a pair of trolls have sex during the wet season their genetic material is collected in buckets, the buckets are then collected by Imperial drones to be taken to the brooding caverns, where the mother grub mixes all the collected genetic material into a slurry and then she lays the next clutch of trolls"

One can almost see the pen flying as she takes mental notes. She will press Kanaya for little details, seasonality, origins of the Mother Grub and so on. She will be curious but clinical, and skilfully dance around the rather rude question of the mechanics of the situation. Its impolite to ask a girl what's under her skirts without at least having met her in person, no matter what the internet would have you believe

"For all our similarities this is so far from human reproduction I can hardly fathom it. It's almost arthropodal"

"well after the eggs are laid they hatch into grubs, they're about this big-" she made a size with her hands "and then they eat and eat and then go into cocoons" she explained, much more comfortable talking about grubs "as a jade blood I would have been expected to stay on the planet after all the adults are shipped to our outer planets, and to take care of the mother grub in the brooding cave, but I may have had a problem with my duties, and I would have certainly been culled"

She looked concerned "can you tell me what happened?"

"well our race has several mother grubs, and one of them had reached the end of her time, and I was tasked with removing the Matriorb, which is a Mother grub egg, and taking the egg to a suitable place in the brooding cave for it to hatch, but while I was on the way, because I knew the perfect spot, some trolls ambushed me, breaking the Matriorb, and I got all the blame, there are only a certain number of mother grubs at once, and they are extremely rare in the wild, my friends and I fled the planet as soon as we could, we're all fugitives in some way or another, except maybe Gamzee, but he couldn't leave Karkat and Tavros"

"It seems unfair to be driven into exile over something that was not your fault. Regardless of the value of what you guarded, to be killed for it" She shook her head "my condolences This all must be very difficult for you"

"it is difficult to know that you have failed your entire species, though I am here with some of my closest friends, so I am not feeling too bad" she gave her a sympathetic smile

Karkats response to that kind of thinking had boiled down to 'fuck those guys, they're assholes', not the most helpful of reactions but he tried.

Rose seems to be more willing and able to offer useful assistance "Well if you ever wish to talk about it, I am always ready to listen, or offer appropriate distraction should the occasion call for it"

Kanaya gave her a smile "I may take you up on that offer, I am always in need of someone to talk to, intelligent conversation is hard to find" she joked

“My deepest sympathies. For one to be forcibly intellectually malnourished must be greater agony than any degree of banishment. And so in that vein I implore you, do not let John talk you into watching any movies”

Kanaya raised an eyebrow, but took her word for it "I shall do my best to avoid that fate, hopefully he has Karkat to spend time watching movies, they have that in common" she felt herself to be very attracted to Roses way of talking, it was kind of incredible

"God help us, there is two of them. Should my talkative friend Dave join the fray I fear for you and I would have to flee for the sake of our mental health. I propose Paris"

Kanaya had no idea what Paris was "we may have to do that anyway, Karkat is already worrying everyone with working himself to death, Tavros ran off because I was talking about reproduction, and John is still talking on the phone" she sighed "I feel that I might need a calming drink"

"I'm afraid I can offer you little until John has sorted out the tangle that is my mothers past mistakes, but I expect there is some tea in the kitchen, John often keeps some on hand for when I visit"

"I might try it, if you will excuse me" she said, standing up leaving the laptop, she had no idea how to work any of the appliances, she went back to the laptop "maybe I will have to have some tea when we are at your Hive, I mean house"

She laughed in amusement "You could take the laptop with you and I'll walk you through it"

"oh, no I think I would find that to be entirely too embarrassing, I will just wait, John said that we will hopefully be at your house in a few days, I should survive that long, although I may take you up on that offer if they get too bad" she gave her a smile

"This is going to be a rather excruciating wait"

"I find that I agree, I simply cannot wait to meet you in person" she smiled 

John came over, finally off the phone that conversation had been all kinds of ridiculous "Rose, I have no idea about your mums friend, I think he was drunker then her, but he said that he can get us tomorrow evening"

"Then I will meet you at the airfield we'll be a little cramped in the car, but the guest rooms should be ready by then"

"fantastic! then I'll start packing right away, I think I still have all those boxes from when I moved the first time"

"John who else are you planning to tell about this, this is a situation that must be handled delicately, but your actions now are going to raise some questions"

"well I don't have any neighbours or friends out here" he shrugged "no one's gonna miss me, and the people I'm gonna tell, maybe my dad? I probably want to tell Dave at some point, but I kinda wanna keep it low key"

She sighed "I would discourage you from telling Dave, considering how poor he is at taking anything seriously, but I fear he may never forgive us if we don't. But this may be especially difficult to explain to your father. Are you sure you want to tell him the truth"

John bit his lip "I guess you're right, I think I will have to tell Dave though, he'll hate not to be in the loop, even if he doesn't believe me, as long as he doesn't spread it around"

“My mother may be a drunkard but she is a scientist at heart I am relived not to have the responsibility of curbing her but Dave " She smiles wickedly with a slight turn of her head "I will handle Dave. Easily"

John raised an eyebrow , "I guess I'll leave Dave to you then, should I be worried for him?" he asked

"Perhaps a bit, he will appreciate the sympathy"

John laughed a little evilly "alright then, I'll sympathise with him after you're done, I better get packing, my room is the biggest mess right now, oh crap, you guys are still going to have to sleep, gah, I guess I'll pack everything I can"

"Then I look forward to it I also should begin my preparations. Until then Kanaya"

"it was a pleasure to talk to you properly" Kanaya smiled

The yellow eyes glimmered at John through the darkness, tense for a moment as they look around for potential attack "What are you doing urth John?"

John had been quietly picking up the blankets, folding them and putting them into a box, he jumped a little when Karkat talked "oh, I'm just packing a lot of this up, the plane is going to be here tomorrow evening, so I have to be ready to go by then"

"Fuck! We still have to deal with the ship" Not to mention fixing the disguises "Why did you let me fall asleep?" He kicks over parts of the pile as he scrambles upright "how many hours of moonlight do we have left?"

John had a look at his watch "uhhh well about 7 hours? the sun rises at about 5 or 6, but then we have about 14 hours untill the plane should be here" he went about tossing some stuffed toys into a box

“Yeah but the only one who's going to be worth the wasted air in the daylight is Kan, and she'll still need slee...what in the high flying fuck is that? Is that a toy?”

John held the toys, he had a stuffed salamander that he had named Casey, and a Rabbit that he had named Liv Tyler "uh yeah? I got them as gifts years ago now"

"Great our lives are in your hand and you're using them to mine your cartilage nub for mucal gold I feel so much better"

John sighed, tossing them into a box "look, I could use help packing, I don't really have the time to talk" he was stressing a little bit, he hadn't realised he had so much stuff

He studied Johns movements before storming off downstairs "Alright shitstains. FrondfondlingFrond fondling time is officially over"

Gamzee had been recruited to help pack, picking up all the books off the shelf, putting them into boxes or handing them to Tavros for him to put into a box

"Your work load is officially tripled We need to gut the ship and do it in one day. Anything we don't take gets turned to ash And we only get one day because some masterpiece of evolution decided 14 hours was enough time to pack up a human hovel And because I was stupid enough to take my eyes off you assholes for one minute Gamzee and Tavros. I need you with me for heavy lifting and shit. We'll make sure Kanaya is helping John for now"

Gamzee nodded, dusting his hands off, Kanaya had been putting bottles of cleaning products into a box, there had been one incredibly awkward moment where she had to put a bucket in, knowing that humans didn't use them for mating made it a little less weird, but not much, she poked her head out the door when Karkat had been yelling, so he was taking the boys to tear up the ship? she didn't have a problem, it was much cleaner in the house

Gamzee nodded putting a box aside "just lead the motherfucking way and point at what you want me to grab" luckily Karkat had convinced Gamzee to get a better sylladex in the sweeps they'd known each other

And there will be no shortage of work. Fortunately Karkat had meticulously listed and catalogued everything useful to be salvaged and gathered up some of the more important items. Other Items will require disassembly with tools. But Karkat has no doubt Tavros will be able to keep Gamzee careful and on task. Meanwhile Karkat can focus with a fresh mind on putting the finishing touches on the disguises before he packs up the tools

Gamzee worked hard, his high blood strength helping him a lot as he picked up and moved things, captchalogging what Tavros told him, and putting the things they were leaving aside, hours passed like this, and Gamzee found himself getting bored, he started working slower and slower

Eventually wire-haired human stomped through the corridor to snarl at him "Hey see if you can go for a few minutes without welding yourself into the wall I need to borrow the useful half of your brain better known as the asshole in the chair"

Gamzee gaped as someone who was, but wasn't Karkat came into the room, it sounded just like him, and had the same face, but he was pink! Gamzee completely ignored what not-Karkat said, bending so he could peer at him, obviously baffled

"Hey! what? Look I know I'm ugly like this, I can barely stand to look and my own face without shoving my thumbs into look globes as an undeserved act of mercy to my sponge. But that's no reason to be breathing down my throat about it!" The colour of his skin and eyes are all different, even his nubby little horns are gone But his skin seems to retain an unnatural toughness you cant see until you are very close. And his teeth are still far too pointed to pass for a true human

Gamzee squinted a little "you're pretty motherfucking convincing" he complimented he wondered if he could touch the others horns through the hologram, it was all sorts of magical "and you arn't ugly bro, just different, you'd have to do a lot worse to make yourself motherfucking ugly" he complimented

They are only hidden, the horns remain present and very touchable "My ugliness is only marginally related to this greasy pink wormflesh" He beckoned Tavros over, who first had to unload his lap before wheeling over "Tavros is going to be the real test of this shit with his chair and those bigass horns"

"well brother he can stay in the wheelchair, they're a pretty normal thing here" he moved out the way so that Tavros could easily get to the 'human'

He hooks the device over Tavros' neck, fiddling with the back of it "Yeah but I've got to change his appearance without turning his chair into hopbeast or something equally as noticeable" He turns a small screwdriver into the device and Tavros' skin tone changed first a minty green, then a deep dark reddish purple, something turns his clothes blue and white for some odd reason before Karkat fixes it then he slowly nudged the settings back through brownish skin tones that look passably human. He mutters something about a blur, turns something else, and the skin looses some of the 'hard' quality that Karkats has. Next come the horns and teeth and so on. Until Karkat was left circling a perfect human boy, even the illusion device hidden from view

Gamzee was hopping in excitement by the time that Tavros was done, looking like the most adorable human he'd ever seen, fluffy Mohawk and all

"You're going to have to be careful Your horns are still a thing and people cant see them to avoid" He taps one

"Oh that's ok I know, um I figured that it might work like that" He decided not to mention to Karkat he may or may not have had such a thing tested on him before by a yellow-blooded friend and gotten the full safety speech. Karkat seemed so proud of his work finishing the disguises

"Alright Gamzee stop dancing around like a moron and get down here where normal trolls can reach you"

Gamzee nodded, squatting down, he had the biggest grin on his face "do you reckon Kanaya would fall for it?" he asked, a mischievous look on his face "do you need a brother to fiddle with your holograph thing to make your skin look all proper like Tavbros?"

He growled softly "I'll do it myself when I get to a good mirror Cause I trust you so much I wouldn't want to bother you with that Hold still "

"Um whoa I don't think that's normal" Nevertheless Tavros is impressed with Gamzees sudden new rainbow coloured hair and kinda wishes he could keep it even after Karkat nudges it back to it's natural shade, wanting to keep the disguise as subtle as possible

Gamzee frowned a little, looking at his black hair "why cant I have different coloured hair? I want gold hair like that shiny Rose" Gamzee said, tugging on his black locks

Karkat sighed "The more subtle we keep this the more reliable it will be" But surely gold hair wouldn't hurt to much, He makes the necessary adjustments, its not a perfect match, but its unique all the same

Gamzee grinned, the hair was a bit more of a dirty blonde, but Gamzee didn't care, the colour was very attractive to him "oh brother, this is the best" he crowed, trying to stay still as Karkat played with the device

He rolled his eyes almost succeeding in hiding the little smile that snuck out as he adjusted Gamzees fangs and horns away At last he stepped back "How is that?"

"what colour are my eyes?" he looked at his hands, his claws were rounded and pink like the humans, his skin pale like the humans, he looked at Tavros "how do I look brother?" he had a big smile, it was very different without the fangs

"Your eyes are the same colour, but you look, well, really really really good" He beamed "Maybe I can have, um, funny colour hair too?"

Gamzee nodded in agreement "make it chocolate coloured! then I could just eat you up" his grin took a slightly predatory turn

His face darkened a bit chocolatey at the suggestion sputtering a bit Karkat cursed and kept upon him to make the changes before the blush faded There red so weird And while he was at it he adjusted the hair once more. Despite complaints he would allow them to tweak their appearance with reason as much as they asked

"wow brother, chocolate suits your pretty head" he put his hands into his hair, mussing it "you're gonna stick with black hair brother?" he asked, looking at Karkat

he snorted "I'll leave playing dress-up to Kan"

Gamzee nodded "well we should finish grabbing all this mess and then head to the house, then we can show John and Kanaya our fancy new faces"

they'll rush to finish, it still may take till the sky is lightening, but Karkat seemed pleased as the slunk back home

Gamzee still got a small shock when he glanced at his arms, the walk back to the house he spent a lot of it looking at his hands, flexing his fingers and being amazed that they were actually his

They house was quite packed up, he had left out the TV and essentials for cooking, and he couldn't bring his couch or bed they wouldn't fit in the boxes or the plane, he hoped Rose had a spare bed

"almost finished already? I'd be impressed with these new-found depths of competency if I weren't half-sure it was Kanayas fault"

John was sitting on the couch, half dozing, his body clock not used to his strange sleeping schedule, he jolted when Karkat spoke, spinning to look at him, but his mouth fell open when he saw 3 humans instead of the trolls he expected

"What? my horns showing? or is this your 'paying attention' face? the drool should have tipped me off"

John shook his head "no this is amazing! if you didn't look like you normally do I would have totally been fooled, those holograms are amazing!!" he exclaimed, getting up and hurrying over, of course the first think he did to Karkat was feel where his horns were meant to be

Karkat had let his guard down. Karkat really should know better than to let his guard down by now. But it had simply never crossed his mind that the human would have the gall to grab him like that On longer horns it might not be so much of an issue, but honestly with horns so nubby it was hard -not- to grab any sensitive bits. Karkat gave a full body shudder that seemed to lock his joints in momentary shock This is the blessed window of surprise that will give John his chance to escape

John hated to admit that the feel of Karkats horns was really nice, smooth and warm, but with how he completely froze he figured that he didn't like it, he took his hands off "sorry Karkat, I should of asked huh?"

Gamzee got ready to grab Karkat if he looked like he was going to try and attack the human

A low rumble of growl and a momentary flinch forward as Karkat almost, almost went for Johns throat, but Gamzee at the ready to stop him reminded the troll just who is supposed to be playing ambassador here. He reeled himself in, shaking with the force of his restraint "Just dontfuckingdothatagain"

Johns eyes widened, the anger in his eyes scared him, "I'm really sorry Karkat, I wasn't thinking, I wont do it again" he apologised, he really meant it, he had done so well not insulting or hurting the aliens till now "reeeeeaally sorry" he was sure that if Gamzee hadn't been there he would be short a throat

Gamzee leant down, rubbing Karkats shoulders "it was just an accident bro" he purred soothingly

Karkat kept holding his breath and his silence until Gamzees reassurances chipped their way through the haze of red. At last he sighed, letting it go "Whatever. Yes everything is still there, its just a hologram hol-o-gram, means we still ain't alien maggots thank god As long as we're really fucking careful we should pass just fine Now what is left to do?"

"well uh" he said awkwardly "its getting close to morning, so I guess we could sleep for a while, there should be enough stuff upstairs for you guys to sleep, "there's room on my bed if you don't mind sleeping without a pile, I'll sleep here. I think Kanaya has already turned in, or she's up there awake, I don't know"

"I just need to detonate the ship after we're out of the area, though Kanaya should do a last walk though before we go to see if there's anything left she wants, plus I have to put her projector on but otherwise I think we're ready too" Karkat looked surprised, as though this turn of events was completely unexpected. Time to rest before the next in an endless series of tasks? Strange. He glanced to Gamzee and Tavros "Then you two better rest while you can, no telling what next night is going to be like. You can take those things off too, they're inactive as long as you have em detached. Just don't mix them up or you'll trade colouring and whenever Tavros blushes he'll turn green"

Gamzee's eyes widened "Bro! we have to try it!" he snapped the collar off after a little fumbling, returning to his normal self

John nodded "well go and see if she's awake, I might just collapse on the couch" he did as he said, collapsing onto said couch

Karkat executed a perfect x1 facepalm combo as Tavros cheerfully unhooked his own to trade. He escaped toward the relative safety and sanity of Kanaya

he could hear Gamzee laughing and Johns tired groan

Kanaya was sitting on a cleared spot of the floor, her chainsaw had been taken apart and she was cleaning each part meticulously, she nodded at Karkat when he entered

"How did it go? No new disasters?" he sat nearby her, offering her the device

She shook her head "they day was relatively quiet, John is quite talented at talking to himself" she took the device, turning it over in her hands, clipping it around her neck

He moved behind her to adjust it "Gamzee wanted hair like the other humans, how about you? any special requests?"

"no I think that I would like my hair to stay black, unless you think another colour would suit me" she looked at her hand as the skin went from blue to red to pink

"We can always fiddle with it later, if you change your mind. You need to check the ship before we go, make sure we have everything you want" He bites his tongue a bit in concentrated he needed to get her colours and softness just right "Ok so this isn't my best rescue ever, but you're still intact so maybe it's not the worst" Even if she does have to hide her lovely horns

"I keep all my belongings in my sylladex, I don't need to return to the ship, I am almost done cleaning my chainsaw, it had been a while since I gave it a full clean, I will see how my appearance looks after I put it back together"

"Kan. Are you really ok?" He studied her with a frown. A long time he had struggled with his feelings towards her. He certainly felt something, and something strong. But something he couldn't even begin to describe much less understand. He was sure his feelings did not even remotely fit any of the quadrants. He looked up to her in an odd way, perhaps even put her on a bit of a pedestal at times, but still he wanted to protect her and see her smile. By some unspoken agreement. He never tried to discuss his feelings with her. He simply gave her a sort of reverent deference he never gave the others

This disaster that was supposed to be her 'rescue' worried him He studied her intently for any sign of distress. There was still a good chance this would all work out, he wanted to make sure she had that faith

Kanaya gave Karkat a long look "I don't know Karkat" she sighed a little, she would count Karkat as her best friend, maybe even her unofficial moirail "by failing at my duty I have uprooted all of my closest friends, one of us died rescuing me" she said softly, looking down at her knees

"You didn't uproot anyone. We were all going to die anyway. We'd been planning this Tavros was put on the cull list," Well maybe mostly just idle talking and waiting to see if Sollux and Gamzee could arrange an alternative for him. But as for right now Karkat has decided they were planning this before Kans problem ever became an issue "and you know Sol would have just gotten shoved in a ship engine no matter what program he wrote. Gamzee, well he'll just follow Tavros anywhere. Get over yourself Kan, We weren't rescuing you. You just had the misfortune tagging along on the wrong escape shuttle. This isn't your fault. We're all taking the same responsibility and risk for a shot at a better life Sollux knew that"

Kanaya gave Karkat a surprised look "you always have been good at making me feel better, you have a way with words" he gave him a smile, reaching over and putting a hand on his shoulder "we will do something for Sollux when we are more settled" she knew that deaths were usually forgotten, but Sollux deserved something after saving them all

"I just kinda wish I could have dug him out" what if he was still just barely alive? no, no thinking like that. What he could see on the security take made it clear that Sollux was dead or if he wasn't then he was definitely dead now ugh "but I think that'll be nice. Just don't ask me to say anything I make enough of an ass of myself just talking to him I don't want to think of what I'll do behind his dead ass back"

Kanaya chuckled "that is fair enough Karkat, I do not expect you to talk about Sollux, everyone knows what type of troll he was" seeing Karkat looking so down made all her protective instincts kick in, she grabbed him into a hug

He gives a few token complaints and curses, squirming and looking generally as though he would not be sure how else to react to a hug. Thought he was supposed to be comforting her dammit. He tried to scowl menacingly, it came out as more of a pout "why does everyone seem to want to -do- that? I am not a comfort plush!"

Kanaya smiled softly "everybody wants to do it Karkat, because you are a very good troll" she said softly, holding him a little tighter, all her stress and anxiousness leaving as she hugged the Cancer "you are simply the best there is when it comes to helping your friends"

He grumbled something unintelligible, but maybe seeing her relax like that is worth some of the shame. At least noone else is looking. He did come to try and comfort her, so if it means playing plush for a few minutes "This is proof you are all demented completely out of your mind"

"you are simply a beacon for the damaged type" she let him go slowly, not really wanting to, but she was sure she had tortured him long enough "now, don't you have a ship to explode? you also might want to tweak your holograph, your skin still looks a little off"

"Yeah. You ought to get some rest while you can. We start our day jobs as human in a few hours" He'll escape her clutches at last, cause he really really is not sitting there wishing such contact could continue all night until he can fall asleep and forget his troubles. Nope. Definitely not thinking that. Will offer a last comforting touch before slipping off to the bathroom to attend to his own illusion device, though that might take him a little longer than anticipated since he as to work behind his neck and cant freaking see dammit Sollux you did that on purpose!

John hadn't been able to sleep, Gamzee and Tavros were talking pretty noisily, playing around with the illusion device, he saw Karkat enter the bathroom, playing with a screwdriver, seemingly into the back of his neck, he went over "hey, do you need a hand?"

Grumbles "I cant fucking see the controls like this I wish I had the time to fix that idiots design" Knows he should growl and chase him away, but really his arms are tired and dammit he wants to rest "Think you can figure it out without fucking it up?"

"sure, just tell me what you need me to do,” he walked over, taking the screwdriver with one hand, putting his other on his shoulder to keep it steady

He'll try to describe the controls. They are tiny and unlabelled, and complicated, but he should be able to find the basic settings by playing with it a bit under Karkats guidance Karkat at least wants to change his skin just enough to pass, but close enough to his own skin tone that should it fail and he turn fully grey, someone who has seen him before may be able to pass it off as a trick of the light in a glance. Though getting the teeth adjusted seems a little trickier, in fumbling around for the right dial he'll find a plethora of other things he can change A pranksters temptation

John grinned as he changed Karkats nose to look like a pigs, but when his expression changed he quickly changed it back to his rather dainty nose, he wanted to play with it more, but he didn't want Karkat mad at him but he did purposely take a little longer to get everything right, playing with his teeth and his hair and eye colour for a little while, leaving his hair as pink, pretending that he was having trouble turning it back

Will scowl and call him colourful things with such intensity that his metaphors get away from him a little bit there and dissolve into a confusing convoluted allusion to what might be alien gelatin

John laughed, changing his hair back to black , playing around with reds and browns, ultimately leaving it as black "I think black hair suits you the best" he commented "you make a pretty attractive human" he commented "not that you're not equally as nice as a troll" he started blathering at his awful compliment, geez!, he played with his eye colour, though he just made it a little darker, it would be easily mistaken for brown

"John Egbert human are you honestly making a pass at me? I'm not sure if that's disturbing or just plain sad"

John blushed, "I wasn't making a pass at you! I was just commenting on how you look, honest!" he was so stupid sometimes

"Meaning just plain sad! you're already turning your own blood colour, your blood is trying to escape your body out your ear holes to escape the same of being associated with you I sure as shit hope you don't.." He drifted off as he caught his reflection in the mirror "Why'd you do that? are red eyes not normal for humans?"

John shook his head "not really, normal eye colours are blue, grey, brown and green, my eyes are unusual for a human, but not impossible, I kept your eyes as kinda red, cause they suit you, they're just darker now"

"What about Gamzee? are his ok?" He frowns at his reflection.. Fuck his life. So hard, so long. He'd had that little flare of longing hope when he saw that humans shared his blood colour, Having the smallest horns, the roundest teeth, it was almost as though he'd accidentally stumbled onto a place where he actually belonged

But even in such a fairytale place he still managed to be a mutant. Nothing bad, just a little token to remind him he's too different to deserve to live. The glare he shoots his reflection is nothing short of hateful

John frowns a little as Karkat glared at his reflection, did he really hate having brown eyes so much, he changed them back without comment, he continued to work on his skin tone, trying to get it to look as nice as possible, the controls were finicky at best

"Don't. If the colour is a mutation, then just leave them looking normal" Casts his eyes to the side "we don't need the extra attention, no unnecessary risks"

"if anyone comments, tell them that they're contacts" he shrugged "I dunno if you have them on your planet, but they let you have your eyes whatever colour you want, anyway, the red suit you" he pet Karkat on the head, being careful not to accidentally get his horns

"We have them I used to wear them. Brown is ok I just want them to be normal" Oh how much does he want them to get normal "besides if I catch someone staring I might accidentally tear someone's face off "

John laughed a little "well people are more likely to stare at you because of something you did or said that was weird, I'll have to teach you guys the basics" he let out a small sigh, he didn't want to change Karkats eyes, the other giving himself such a hateful glance had hurt him inside

Well he may be the troll that looks the closest to a human, but he'll never be able to stop hiding. chides himself for getting cocky and smug like that "yeah yeah no face ripping, I got it. Just hurry up and finish before I just decide your species is too ugly for me to stomach. And fix the fucking eyes already"

John rolled his eyes changing his eyes again, to a reddish brown, he took the screwdriver out "looks good to me! is there anything you want to change?" he asked, Karkat could be so grumpy, it made him a little sad, it wasn't an alien thing, Gamzee, Tavros and Kanaya were cheerful enough, so it had to be a Karkat thing, he wanted to make him happier

"I don't know. I haven't seen a lot of humans" He turned around in the small bathroom to look up at John "how do I look to you?"

John made a show of looking at Karkat from bottom to top, grabbing one of his wrists, flipping his hand over, inspecting his skin, looking at his face from a few different angles "yeah, you look just like a human" he gave him a smile "if I didn't know better I'd say you were" he complimented

Karkat may argue the status of that as a compliment, though its hard to voice such a thing while looking into eyes so unfairly blue "I'll try to contain my enthusiasm"

John laughed at his sarcasm "c'mon, Karkat, we want to get some rest before the flight, you still have to blow up the ship or whatever right? I can fix Gamzee's eyes and then get everyone sleeping" it was getting early after all

"It'll make noise, I'm going to wait till we're leaving in case of nosey neighbours. But I better see if I can get the others to spare us she shitty rap-offs for the sake of our sanity and their continued existence"

John nodded "I've had to put up with Daves rapping for years, i'mI'm sure it cant be much worse then that"

"Oh you poor ignorant human I weep for the species and the death of your belief in anything benevolent within the Alternian language"

John felt a little concerned hearing that "well hopefully we can convince them to sleep then? I don't really want to be deaf at my age"

"Oh I can get them to sleep if I have to shoosh Gamzee into a comatose stupor" He straightens his shoulders as though ready to fight this battle tooth, nail, and pap

John snickered, following Karkat put the bathroom, Gamzee was sitting on the couch, luckily he and Tavros weren't rapping, instead they seemed to be telling jokes or something, John really had no idea

"Alright, time to stop fondling our collective metaphorical and literal bulges and hit the pile and please tell me you didn't break 'em alreaady"

Gamzee grinned at him "my bulge or the pile?" he joked

"The illusion devices you sieve panned punishment from the messiahs. You need to let us fix your eyes. Apparently violet and red eyes are a mutation here"

Tavros seemed surprised "But, uh, I thought the rose human had purple eyes?"

John blinked "oh, you're totally right, you know, I think that Dave has red eyes under his shades" he laughed awkwardly "I always forget that they're not normal, I've known them forever" he felt really embarrassed

"I think I like Gamzees eyes as they are. Are you sure he has to change them?" Tavros looks at John imploringly "Are they really that strange?"

"my friends and I all have pretty strange eye colours, so I guess you can keep purple, Karkat you can have red back, I'm such an air head sometimes"

Gamzee wanted to have rainbow eyes

Karkat seemed uncertain "Are you positive it's not going to get any attention" Doesn't want people staring at him, noticing him, closing in on him and whatever dirty secrets he tries to hide "and who is this Dave guy you talk about anyway"

"you'll be fine! you'll be wearing sunglasses anyway" he assured him "and Dave is my best bro, I've known him for 8 years now"

Still unsure, Not that normal if he has to hide behind sunglasses "will he be coming with us too?"

John shook his head "nah, he has too many irons in the fire where he lives, he'd only come to visit if at all" John shrugged "you can keep your eyes brown if you like, but I think red suits you better, but ultimately they're yours"

He shouldn't, He should take the extra steps to stay safe and protect their secret. He should avoid the stares and questions but John says he likes them better " Fine what the fuck ever"

John laughed a little, adjusting his eyes back to red, "there we go, perfect!" he handed the screwdriver back, red eyes suited Karkat a lot better, made him seem like himself

"Yeah well" Avoids looking at John "The point still stands, time to sleep"


	6. Chapter 6

"yeah yeah, did you wanna get our cuddle on tonight Karbro?" Gamzee asked moving over, standing near Karkat, he liked to switch around between Tavros and Karkat, Tavros understood naturally

though Karkat had half expected Gamzee to stay with Tavros today since he'd had to cuddle a sleepy Karkat into submission earlier "This is your subtle as a battle-cruiser way making sure I actually sleep today isn't it" Scowls "Whatever"

Gamzee just gave him a smile, Karkat could just see right through him sometimes "I'll help Tavbro get settled upstairs" scooped up the Taurus, messing his Mohawk

John was a little confused, he knew that Gamzee and Tavros were in a relationship, but there seemed to be something between Gamzee and Karkat, he kind of wanted to know, but he didn't want to start Karkat ranting when he just wanted to sleep

Tavros will at least get to kiss Gamzee goodnight as he gets helped to bed and maybe distract him just for a little, but not too long, Kan is right there after all Karkat may be a little pink when he glances at the watching John "What?"

John blinked, shaking his head, "just thinking, it takes up all my brain power after all" he joked, Walking past Karkat to go upstairs

Eyes follow him with a suspicious glare but he'll leave it alone. As he's left alone for a moment he touches the device in deep thought. He liked his eyes

John went to his room, he looked down at himself, he was dusty from packing, but he really couldn't be bothered showering, he flopped onto his bed, pulling his blanket over his head

Tavros can quietly settle in alone as Gamzee gets his pale on with Karkat, excited to see the next day, and pleasantly worn out from the busy time today. Karkat can be surprisingly affectionate and tender when they are alone on that way all those romcoms

Kanaya had settled herself into her pile, she was a little concerned about moving them all to Roses house, well she was mostly worried about how she was going to act around Rose, there had been a little flirting between them, and Kanaya wanted to know a lot more about the pale human, she hoped that Rose wasn't kidding around.

it would be a difficult thing to tell, sometimes some things she said seemed to ring with insincerity, but still her every movement seemed to screams her interest.

Kanaya decided to maybe be blunt with Rose, as cultural differences might make any type of courtship confusing.

\--------

Johns alarm went off, he slapped at it until it stopped beeping, groaning, it was about 5pm, the pilot would be here in a few hours "c'mon guys, everyone needs a shower" he said, poking at Tavros with his foot

Tavros mumbles and lifted his head, pillow still stuck on. He groaned something about the earliness of the hour and pushed his face back into the pile

John stood up, walking to where Karkat and Gamzee were cuddling, he reaches over, shaking their shoulders, Gamzee mumbled something about woolbeasts or something, Kanaya was next

Karkat lays atop Gamzee and in not at all ready to get up, snuggled deeply in his arms and looking more content than John has ever seen him...weird

Kanaya at least woke up easily, though she gave John a dirty look, John told her she could wash up first if she wanted, she decided to take the offer, leaving the room, John looked at the sleeping trolls, Karkat looked incredibly relaxed, Gamzee's long arms wrapped around him

so relaxed he doesn't even notice he's being watched, a dire lapse in his guard he'll cure himself for later, when he can find the motivation to care

"if you guys don't wake up soon I'll eat the rest of the pop-tarts myself" he poked the trolls again

At least that prompts a growl out of him, he even lifts his head a bit and sniffs seeking the presence of the fruit filled pasty, though doesn't quite get his eyes open

"c'mon Karkat, you know you want the pop-tarts, you just gotta get up" he didn't mention if they didn't get up he'd splash water on them

Grumbles and nips Gamzees jaw. Not going alone! already trying to slide off

Gamzee mumbled, cracking his eyes open, Karkat was slipping away, he grabbed his shoulders, pulling him back sleepily

John started shaking Tavros softly

"You have to let go sometime nooksniffer" will deny he's snuggled back in

"mmn I'm up I am" Tavros shakes his head, trying to clear it

"I wanna go back to sleep as much as you guys, but the pilot is gonna be here in a few hours, you guys need to wash up and eat" John hated that he sounded like a mother hen "I'll bring the bath to you if you don't get up" he pulled the pillow off Tavros' horn

Tavros smiles a bit "Maybe you better go first and I'll get them up"

John nodded "alright then, thanks a ton Tavros" John was really thankful, he was feeling a little stressed and cranky, he left the room, going downstairs, Kanaya was still washing

"Um Gamzee? I don't mean to bug, but I kinda need help to get downstairs"

Gamzee, hearing that his Matesprit was in need of help grabbed Karkats shoulders, moving him onto the pile next to him "Sorry brother" he gave a big yawn, sitting up

Karkat rolled and pushed himself to his feet "sneaky little fucker. Just for that I'm getting ice-cream too"

Gamzee shuffled over, grabbing Tavros, still very much on autopilot, almost walking into a wall, his eyes were closed

John had gotten out the pop-tarts, putting them on the counter, he sat down putting his face in his hands, what on earth was he doing?

Tavros will try to guide him straight for both their sakes

Oh John's only throwing his entire life out the window because of some aliens he's known for less than a week no biggie! nothing to stress over

Gamzee somehow made it down the stairs without tripping down the stairs and breaking both their necks

John put his hands into his hair, pulling it in thought and frustration, he wouldn't have been able to leave the aliens, he knew that for a fact, and he felt like Karkat was an old friend, and he did like them, he wasn't super attached to his house, but moving away without a moving truck or something similar meant that he had to leave his TV his bed, his couch, and regrettably he was attached to those

Karkat drifted down after them, eyeing John "If you did eat them all I'll take them out of your intestines you know that"

John shook his head, making a gesture at the box, still unopened, he probably shouldn't let Karkat know that he was stressing a bit, maybe he could pretend he was tired instead

A derp like this?, not well versed in human expressions, but knows something is up when he stops flashing those buck teeth every three seconds, he snatches up the box to tear into it. Sitting quietly beside him, trying to test the waters by fiercely ignoring him

"make sure you save some for the others" he mumbled, what if Rose got really mad at him? for bringing 4 aliens she hardly knew into her house? hell, John hadn't been to her house in years and years, and now he was suddenly moving in? god, he was the worst possible person

Karkat will shove a packet in his face "Stop that and eat already"

John pushed them back "I don't really have an appetite"

“And not eating will make you feel so much fucking better At least eat one”

"I'm trying to think Karkat" he said, not really wanting to be rude, but he was having a small crisis

"You know you don't have to do this, its not too late to come to your senses"

"of course I do! I am not going to just leave you all! you wont be able to get jobs or houses with no information, and we cant stay here! so we have to move in with Rose and hope that she doesn't hate me forever for suddenly having to house 4 extra people!" he really wished he wasn't pouring his worries onto Karkat

groans, rolling his eyes "If your ex-matesprit starts getting in the way we'll go find somewhere else to live. We're an advanced civilisation John, we don't need grub-sitting. I promise we can take care of ourselves if we need to, wipe our own ass and everything. Your friend isn't going to hate you"

"firstly, rose and I only dated like a week, I'd hardly call that serious" he assumed that a 'matesprit' was some kind of serious romantic relationship "secondly, I'm more worried about us getting in /her/ way, seeing as she is being incredibly nice to us, and lastly you have no idea how to be a human"

he frowned "Yeah but we learn quick once we finish translating your written language and observing you, we should be ready to get out of your hair long before she's sick of us"

John didn't really want the Trolls to leave, it hurt to think about it, "well I've been a human for about 20 years now, and I still don't fit in" he joked, putting his head on the counter, resting it on his arms

Karkat sighed, he didn't seem to be doing very good comforting the human here "well they haven't culled you so you must be doing something that isn't stone cold retarded. How's your back?"

John had forgotten that he'd even hurt his back, "take a look for me" he turned his back, pulling the black of his shirt up, the bruise had gotten bigger and darker, but was yellowing around the edges, which was a good sign of it healing

"turning into a double rainbow all across your back I think you'll live but you'll be feeling it" he poked the spot gingerly "amazing you didn't break any ribs'"

John flinched when he poked it "I get super powers when i'm protecting someone" he joked

"I believe it, by all rights you should have broken your stupid scrawny neck wasting your time trying to protect me"

he pulled his shirt back down "nah, I cant die yet, I still have stuff that I have to do"

“and just what kind of grand plans do you have for your life beyond alien sitting?”

"I don't know yet" he laughed, he had always kind of floated along waiting for something to come along and be there "maybe Alien sitting is what i'm meant to do" he mused

"you cant be serious... I'm depressed having to deal with myself and these douchebags everyday, if that's your cruel fate for the rest of your life that's the most pathe- sad thing I ever heard"

John just laughed "well I've spent the last few years waiting for something to give me a greater purpose in life, you cant get much better then something falling out the sky, I mean, I'll get a job and stuff, and I wanna go see the world one day, but you guys are really the best thing to ever happen to me"

Mutters something under his breath looking away something about that being the most pathetic thing he' ever heard, but the lowness of his voice tells John it wasn't necessarily something he wanted to share and the tone in his voice doesn't really ring of insult. aliens are so confusing, instead he still shoves food in his face demanding he eats at least one of them needs brains today

John heard Karkat mumbling something that didn't seem to be an insult, he reached over, taking a pop-tart, nibbling on the corner "someday I'll find out what you're mumbling" he mused

“Nothing at all! just whistling out my snot barrel leave it alone" doesn't need him overhearing something embarrassing and asking Gamz about it

John nodded "first thing if you're gonna pretend to be a human, this is a nose" he poked his nose

"nose? so damn weird and sounds so high-blood too"

"high-blood?" John asked

"You know, like calling a load gaper a toilet or a thermal hub a refrigerator stuff like that The sort of language and slang that royals and those sort use"

"that's weird, but looks like you're gonna be talking like a high blood, because they're the same names as humans, at least those two"

"This is why I need to get to work on a translation program. If we can access your knowledge hubs we can avoid embarrassing mistakes, like finding out you actually call your nooks pop tarts of something" Anyone can already see the gears in Karkats head hard at work planning out the next few days and nights

John nodded "I don't really know what a nook is, but I can assure you that a pop-tart is a pop-tart"

"I am absolutely not giving you a lesson in troll anatomy. I'm just going to let my self believe humans have stupid names for their equally as stupid, and yet safely analogous body parts. I'm going to roll in my ignorance like a barkbeast in garbage and revel in the smell of it. Don't burst my bubble, come enjoy this smell with me it's fucking magical"

John was pretty sure that a Nook was something sexual, Karkat surely wouldn't have reacted like that if he was talking about a foot or something "well don't work on it now, we only have a few hours, and everyone still needs to wash up, you guys will have to help carry the boxes"

"We got this covered these guys may be assholes but they are the best I know at getting their shit together when they need to, don't worry" It occurs to him he forgot to test to see if the collars are waterproof reaaaly hopes that doesn't come around to bite him in the ass

Kanaya left the bathroom, looking pristine, her collar obviously on, her skin pale, and horns missing "who is next to use then abulation chamber?" she asked

"Tavbro and i could manage to up and go next"

Tavros couldn't help but blush a bit torn between not wanting to accept a little help with his ablutions, suspecting he may need it anyway, scolding the easily distracted Gamzee for setting himself up for more distractions as was more likely his true intentions and enjoying said distractions settles on slightly mortified silence that will likely go unnoticed.

"yeah ok, you two go next, but don't be too long, Karkat and i still need to use the shower" John said, he hoped his tone would stop them from doing anything in the shower, and he assumed that Tavros probably did need help

Gamzee frowned a little, he had wanted to cuddle in the bath "aw brother, don't you worry your head, we'll be in and out the tub lickety split" he assured the human, he would have to cuddle another time

Still Tavros is grateful cuddles in such close quarters is a little odd. Much like on the ship too. He whispers a suggestions to Gamzee that when they arrive they can perhaps take a walk and have a little alone time after they are done lugging boxes. They have been long overdue

Gamzee gave Tavros a bright smile, picking him up planting a kiss on his cheek as he carried him into the bathroom, rubbing his nose where he had kissed

He chuckled, squeezing a bit "Now you better check yourself, in case you misdirect yourself, from what you should do, cause of, um what's best for you"

Gamzee snickered "now is the time for abulations, we can spin some ill rhymes after we're in the tub"

In the distance they can hear a string of curses from Karkat, making Tavros laugh "not my fault if you cant think about two things at once"

Gamzee laughed "aw brother, you know that i'm not the intellectual type, my think pan is so full of holes its more like a sieve" he joked, starting the water running in the bath

"Dont start repeating that stuff. I know Karkat doesn't really mean it, but i wish he wouldnt say things like that, I mean i'm not criticising him or anything" Hurries to amend, after all it would be pretty rude of him to judge Gamzees moirail "I just know if someone says something bad about you too many times sometimes you can believe it, even if its not true and you say you don't believe it, but somewhere inside you do a little"

Gamzee couldn't stop himself from smiling sappily at Tavros, he had the best matesprit in the universe, no doubt about it "aw brother, i know he's not up and meaning it, but its hard not to think that he's serious with how often he's saying that type of stuff" especially seeing as Karkat was a lot worse when there was other trolls around "and brother, i've been called all sorts of names, by all sorts of trolls, i figure my skins just a bit thicker then most"

"Maybe you ought to ask him about it. But even then, well i sorta hope it works both ways. Cause i think you're pretty smart, and creative, and wonderful. And I'm going to say it lots so you'll always kind of believe it" Beams, relived Gamzee isn't upset about it

"aw, you're gonna start making me blush" he cooed, and he was blushing a little under his make up

"You make me blush all the time! I'm allowed to fight back now in the tub, you," soooo forcefull

Gamzee chuckled "well, we cant get in the bath till we're naked" he smirked, starting to pull Tavros' shirt up, careful not to drop him

"mmph" can handle that himself, but is unable to argue the point, mostly because by the time he thinks of it he has a mouthful of shirt At least by now gamzee knows how to navigate the cloth over his horns "heh okok, you too" tugs at his shirt

"hehe ok, hold your hoofbeasts" he managed to get out of his shirt "normally you arnt so insistent to get my clothes off" he teased

"We arent usually pressed for time I don't like to rush you know" he grins Gamzee will have to try harder then that. Has grown very comfortable with Gamzee over all this time so has lost much of his initial bashfulness. In fact Gamzee has gotten to witness a few of his boldest moves Tav can be pretty coy and randy when he's feeling it.

Gamzee laughed, Tavros was the best, he had come a long way since they became matesprits, it was amazing to see him now, Gamzee undid Tavros' pants taking them off

Unfortunately time had not been kind to half of him. Thick pants helped to hide the sheer muscle-loss that withered his legs from the inactivity, despite Tavros' best efforts to keep his limbs mobile. From the look of the upper half of him he would have been altogether so big, and downright strapping. The sorts of bodies possessed by those actors in the part of Karkats movie collection he typically denies having

once seated Tavros will be in good position to help Gamzee off with his pants, seeing as Gamzee is being so helpful to him, though as he said, isn't going to rush maybe even let a warm touch linger on his side "Almost ready?"

Gamzee was used to his gaunt legs, helping him move them whenever he could to try and stop them atrophying. Gamzee's body was much different, but still similar, sweeps of undernourishment had taken a toll on his body, he was still tall, even by Troll standards, but spending his first 7 sweeps not eating anything but sopor slime, faygo and the occasional meal had taken a huge toll on his body, admittedly the last 2 sweeps had seen a great improvement, but he was still very thin, and his body had a hard time putting any weight on. 

He looked down at Tavros, stepping out of his pants, his hand was warm on his side "i think i'm all up and ready to go brother" he scooped Tavros up, putting him in the bath

He settled in resting his back against the smooth side of the tub "bring your head down here, your hair always takes the longest" Always willing and ready too do battle with the snarls and fluff crowding Gamzees head because he adores Gamzees long hair hopes he never has to cut it.

Gamzee leant his head down so Tavros could reach it, he really didn't like taking care of his hair, it was always such a bother, Karkat or Tavros always insisted on washing and brushing it anyway, otherwise it would probably be a lot worse

Tavros manoeuvred Gamzee to sit between his knees while he tackled it. Downright humming as he got to work...To be honest he hadn't felt this safe in such a long time he was rather enjoying it

Gamzee kept his head down letting him untangle the mess he called hair, flinching a little if he accidentally pulled on a knot, sure this had happened countless times, and as a high blood he was supposed to have a decent pain tolerance, but for some reason washing his hair was kind of awful

Chuckled "almost done i promise i know its worse than a legislacerator interrogation, but i believe in you"

the other seemed to break the dam that was holding back his whining "i hate it Tavbro, you're always pulling and yanking, its right all up at terrible" he sulked

"Shoosh I know it's the price of sexy hair. Um, i'll try to be gentler, ok? Just a little more" Kissed his shoulder to reassure him

Gamzee continued to sulk "can i get all my hair cut off brother? at least shorter? that way i don't have to all up and go through torture every time we're in the bath"

"It definitely wouldn't be so bad if you'd brush it more" he moved the kisses to his neck "I'll be more careful I promise. I just like it so much, do you really have to cut it?" he ran his fingers over Gamzees scalp

Gamzee tilted his head as his neck was getting attention, mumbled a complaint, damn, why did Tavros get to be so convincing "i don't like brushing my hair" he mumbled, a weak complaint, he knew that he was being difficult

"Well you could let me brush it for you, at least, morning and evening. It can feel nice even" nibbled Gamzees ear softly, slipping an arm around him

"what if i put it in a ponytail after you brush it?" then Tavros nibbled his ear, he let a small purr, leaning against him

"yeah, that would help, as long as, um, you don't sleep on it " he cuddled Gamzee closer, stroking his middle to relax him as he continued to lavish him with nibbles and kisses is a master at debate!

Gamzee always lost when Tavros got like this, he felt himself relaxing from the gentle touches "c'mon brother, i wanna wash you" he pouted, though he didn't move

"you gotta let me finish first, can you do that?"

he pouted "fine, lets get this torture over and done with"

Tavros will periodically lightly massage the base of his horns to ease the process, not that there was much left to do, but he wanted Gamzee to be happy with the chore, at least somehow. When he finished he kissed the top of Gamzees head with finality

with how Tavros had been stroking the base of his horns Gamzee was very relaxed, the kiss woke him up a little "your turn brother?" he murred

"heh, ok Gam" he pulls back so Gamzee can turn if he needs to

Tavros leaned his head forward for easier access, letting his eyes drift closed dreamily. Its hard and awkward to take a bath with so much troll in so little tub, but he cant say he doesn't enjoy it

Gamzee finished rubbing his fingers through Tavros' hair, moving them over the fuzzy skin on the sides of his head "reckon our brother has any filth abolisher?"

"Well he has a few bottles up there, its probably one of those"

Gamzee grabbed the bottles, squinting at them, they had funny little squiggles instead of nice normal alternian, he opened the bottle, sniffing it

He shrugged "We may as well try it, I cant imagine what else anyone would keep in here"

Gamzee grabbed down the other bottle, one was black and one was white, on the rack there was also a slippery cube

will try to take the slippery cube, maybe poke it a bit with his nails "None of this really looks like the right kind of slime"

Gamzee opened the bottles, tipping a little out, they looked right, though the colour was a bit different "wanna try bro?" he held out the one that was most like hair cleaner, putting the hair smoother aside

He nodded, expecting whatever it is, its unlikely to be dangerous. Ready to jump into whatever it is.

Gamzee tipped some in his hand, putting it into Tavros' hair, lathering it up, he grinned at the bubbles

He'll close his eyes warily. It does feel a little odd, but it seems to be working

Gamzee played with the suds, carding his fingers carefully through his hair, making patterns

He relaxed into those wonderful fingers unlike Gamzee he likes having his hair done he can be a good example for Gamzee.

he smoothed the suds over the sides of his head, brushing to the base of his horns, "man i love your hair bro"

He squirmed a bit, trying to dismiss it as an accident "heheh I brush it you know"

"i think i need to use this magical brush brother, time to rinse and i'll put in the smoother"

"Then i'll do you. Once we have the time I home we can take a proper long bath, uh, not that way I mean. Well maybe a little that way, but its not what I meant"

Gamzee chuckled, pressing a kiss to his lips "i cant wait brother, we'll stay in the tub till we're like dehydrated fruit clusters"

"hehe and John is pounding on the door in great concern for our well being"

"yesss" Gamzee grinned "they'll have to send out a search party to dig us up" he tipped some hair smoother into Tavros' hair

“We'll have to make a point of saving them on our way out, because they will have been knocked cold by our sicknasty beats, and other things, by then”

Gamzee spread the smoother through his hair, twisting the locks into shapes "oh bro, that sounds like the most bitchtits of a good time!"

"i know it wasn't the plan, but I really have a good feeling about all this. I think even Kanaya and Karkat will eventually relax and really see how wonderful this place can be. Maybe we can become professional poets!" so many hopes, dreams, and potentials

"oh man, i wanna learn to bake everything" he lightly scratched at his scalp "but i have a feeling that Karbro is gonna want to get us to keep everything on the down low"

"well we can definitely do that while still doing those things we just have to be careful and it'll be fine"

"oh brother, you are the motherfucking smartest troll in the universe, how did i ever get lucky enough to get a matesprit as good as you"

When he flushes its surely because of the heat in the tub "Gamzee you could have had anyone you wanted, I don't think luck had anything to do with it, I'm just kinda, really really glad, you wanted me" even if he's still not completely sure why

Gamzee smiled seeing the brown flush over his cheeks, "i never wanted anyone before i met your motherfucking adorable face"

At times like this, sometimes he just wanted to shake some sense into him and ask why. But when he thought it out, it sounded like he was fishing for insincere compliments or something equally as pathetic. And it certainly didn't make him sound confident. Instead of saying anything he just ducked to try and hide his. blush Better to just stay quiet

Gamzee hummed happily, he loved it when Tavros got like this "i think its time to get your rinse on my adorable motherfucker"

Good! a perfect excuse to cool his burning ears and distract him by turning the soapy tables on him

"you want me to turn around again?" he asked as his hair was rinsed

"Yeah and give me the bottles"

Gamzee turned around, passing him the bottles, his shoulders were a little tense

"This part wont hurt gamzee, relax already maybe it'll even feel nice"

Gamzee let his shoulders fall, "yeah maybe"

Tavros was gentle as he could be, trying to massage the goo into his scalp in an enjoyable way. His mess of hair will take a few goes and in-between washing he'll work on Gamzees body, washing his back and shoulders almost reverently

Gamzee relaxed again, the smooth hands on his back and shoulders making it easier to relax, Tavros was gently, and it didn't seem so bad to have his hair cleaned

And... ok he may tease Gamzee just a little bit as he washes progressively lower, as vengeance for making him blush

Gamzee wasn't really bothered by the others hands getting lower by the moment, they were just on his back after all

well perhaps, but his chest and stomach need washing too but wont go too far with his teasing, supposed to be responsible after all, but at times he likes seeing if he can get a rise out of Gamzee

"mm brother, that feels motherfucking good" he leaned into Tavros

“Well you got to make a nice indigo-cheeked impression today" he smiled "Just being thorough" as he rinsed

"oh i should probably wash my face off" he grabbed a cloth, wiping off the mostly ruined make-up

Tavros will mess with many things, but he's usually careful to respect Gamzees make up "at least to scrub"

"mmhmm, i don't think. I've washed my face proper since we've been here, it was getting itchy"

"and you spent days sleeping in it, maybe you better leave it off for a little while if, that's ok"

he pouted "i guess if i motherfuckin have to" he didn't really like walking around without his make up on, it had become a part of him

"well you don't want to get another rash" Having cleaned what he chastely can he pauses "maybe you better take it from here"

"oh no brother, you gotta wash me all over"

"But well um, i dont uh..Are you Sure?"

Gamzee shrugged "i trust you not to stick your claws in my tender areas bro" he chuckled

Can do this, not like he's never seen or touched him before, just needs to be business-like and focused on the task at hand. Not let his imagination run away with him as he runs warm fingers over Gamzees tenderest areas, careful not to miss any crevice, and certainly not lingering too long certainly not

Gamzee made a noise in the back of his throat at one point but was otherwise unruffled, he turned his head, planting a kiss on his cheek

Its enough to get him blushing again "is that, um, ok?"

"perfect, cant wait till i get to touch you proper"

Not helping his shade here "Gamzee you shouldn't be thinking about that"

"yeah yeah i know, i just cant help myself, you're irresistible, and touching me all like that its hard not to" he pouted

scoffs "thats your own fault" as punishment he will kiss Gamzee properly

Gamzee put his hand at the back of his neck moving into the kiss

An awkward angle for Gamzee, but Tavros is far to preoccupied with the wonderful flavour of his matesprit to care

after a little while his neck started to hurt, regrettable pulling out the kiss "lets finish up in here, then we can let our brothers use the tub, and we can cuddle some place else”

"Uh, right" oops, was supposed to keep them from getting sidetracked dang it "You're good. Just let me finish up and i'll be ready"

"aw not fair, i wanted to wash you" he turned around, putting on his sad woofbeast face, looking entirely different without his make up on, he had some purple blotches from where the make-up had been on too long

"I'm not sure that might not be um, ok fine stop that!" He leans his head back till his horns tap the wall. Ok might be a little worked up, but Gamzee didn't have a lap full of wet troll all this time. He'll just have to think nice calming thoughts and it'll all go by without any embarrassment.

Gamzee smiled when he got his way, he started washing Tavros slowly, starting with his shoulders, trailing down his arms, he was concentrating very hard, not wanting to miss a spot

Trying furiously to think of anything but his present situation, avoiding looking at Gamzee but his slow and careful ministrations are almost impossible to ignore.

Gamzee was enjoying sliding over the other slowly, Tavros was making the most motherfucking adorable expressions, he went over his chest next

Unsure where to put his unoccupied hands, instinctively they settle on Gamzees hips, he hurriedly moves them to the edge of the tub

Gamzee started washing his hips and thighs, hands completely innocently cleaning the outside of his bulge, he really didn't want to get turned on at this point, so he put all his thoughts towards cleaning Tavros

But this is not helping Tavros' sudden dire lack of self control Gamzee may notice a growing warmth, and even slight movement, signs of Tavros' weakness that make him want to die of shame "oook,yeah, I think I'm clean"

Gamzee looked at him, recognising the look on his face, a slow smile took over his face, he slid closer, wrapping his arms loosely around his shoulders, giving him a heated look "did i get to you tavbro?" he purred

Glowing brown Tavros squeezes his eyes shut, though it isn't much help since he could feel that purr all the way down his spine "god I'm sorry"

Gamzee shook his head "its alright bro" he put his mouth onto his neck, yeah, he didn't think he could hold back while Tavros was giving him that look

"G-Gamzee we're supposed t-" A soft moan takes advantage of his careless talking and slips right out. He bites his lip, trying to keep any further such encouragements under wraps

"just a lil bro, after you tortured me like that" he nibbled at the curve of his neck

"Gamzee" That's about all he can remember of his carefully crafted rebuttal. Without his permission his hands had found their way to Gamzee's waist once more, pulling him just a little closer.

at the encouragement Gamzee purred softly, trailing his teeth up Tavros' neck to his ear, nibbling softly, he knew he shouldn't really be doing this, but he'd held back enough

Tavros cant help a shiver. Wants Gamzee closer, to bury himself in that familiarity he trails his fingers up Gamzees back, teasing the hairs at the base of his neck

Gamzee decided it had been long enough teasing his neck, now it was kissing time, he pulled away for a moment to pull Tavros into a kiss

At last he drew Gamzee fully against him, letting himself hum happily into the kiss. Is only troll after all he cant be expected to just ignore a hot armful like this

Gamzee purred loudly, cradling the back of Tavros neck, he didn't think there was anything better in the universe then the troll in his arms, he bit at his lip, pulling away from a moment "you're such a miracle"

Will recapture his lips, sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. And frankly is busy enjoying a miracle of his own, one hand drawing his shoulders close, the other caressing his hip and thigh as if it were the most precious and fragile thing in the world

Gamzee similarly cradled Tavros, leaning into the kiss, his tongue asking permission to deepen the kiss, one hand stayed at his neck, the other going to the small of his back

As if Tavros could deny him anything now, as long as they are quiet enough to keep from being disturbed Gamzee could steal every breath he has in him for all he cares.

Gamzee didn't have any plans of stopping, he pulled their bodies closer, his tongue tangling with Tavros', he found himself unable to stop small chirps leaving his throat

Tavros scooted a little lower in the tub, pulling Gamzee partially atop his chest, losing himself in the kiss. There is simply no disguising his enticement now.

Gamzee let out a growl as Tavros pulled him on top, not an angry growl, not in the least, he was finding himself pretty turned on as well, he pulled Tavros onto his lap, moving his legs for him, pulling him into a needy kiss

sloshed a bit of the water but had lost the ability to care all he cared about was in his arms right now as his hands drifted downwards to teasingly cup Gamzees ass

Gamzee shifted his hips as Tavros was touching his butt, a purr escaping, he put a hand to the back of his head, pulling him into an almost bruising kiss.

He smiled into the kiss. Poor Gamzee has been neglected for too long, now he's eating this up like he was starving. Kisses back to apologise for making him wait so long. Worshipping his angles with his fingertips.

Gamzee felt almost like a starving man suddenly given a feast, his hands travelled over as much of Tavros as he could touch

Moaned softly into Gamzees mouth. He felt as though he might be driven crazy, maybe he was a little starved himself. Who could deny him all this now? He grips Gamzees legs, still aware of the time "Gamzee please"

at the others begging Gamzee wasn't able to do anything but please him, one of his hands went straight to Tavros' bulge "whatever you want" he purred

He gasped, arching into the touch as much as he could without the leverage on his legs "Ohgodwow"

Gamzee buried his face into Tavros' neck, biting the skin there as his hand teased where the others bulge was

his bulge was tired of being teased and more than eagar to respond to Gamzees coaxing, impatient even. Tavros shivered despite the warmth of the water "I, umh!!, I need you"

Gamzee's bulge was aching to unsheathe, he teased the skin there for a moment before it was coaxed out, "fuck, brother, i need you so bad" he breathed

Tavros hands trailed to Gamzees front, winding Gamzees bulge in his grip. Knowing his lover well enough to know all the right buttons to push Tavros let one finger trail back to gently run a claw over the opening of his nook.

Gamzee keened, probably a little loudly as Tavros was teasing his nook "ffffuck Tavros" his hand went to Tavros' bulge, giving him the same treatment, he knew exactly how Tavros liked to have his bulge touched, he bit at his neck, gently fingering at his nook.

"AhA! G-gamzee hush they'll hear" Not that it stopped him from trying to coax more of those delicious sounds out of him. His fingers were driving him wild here.

Gamzee groaned, trying to be quieter "b-brother, can we skip fingers? i need you in me so fucking bad"

Well who is he to argue with such sound planning. He picked Gamzee up, manoeuvring the skinny troll to just the right position. He held him off a bit, teasing for a few moments before letting his bulge twine around, over, and into Gamzee suddenly and without further warning

Gamzee's head fell back, keening softly at the sensation, his bulge was twisting around itself, which did feel good but he wanted a bit more, geez he could be selfish, he focussed long enough to coordinate his bulge around and into Tavros' nook

Tavros rocked with him gently, working his way deeper as Gamzee finds his nook he stopped and gave a sudden burst of squirming delight inside Gamzee

"fuck, fuck fuck" he rocked his hips, trying to please Tavros as much as possible, because his squirms of pleasure increased his movements inside Gamzee, he started to bite at Tavros' neck and collarbone

By now Tavros was having trouble keeping his own voice down trying to pull him ever closer, ever deeper. His claws scratches a few fine trails down his sides as a sign of his impatience

Gamzee moaned softly as the claws were raked down his sides, Gamzee was drinking in the others moans, they were definitely his favourite miracle, trying his hardest to get him to make more, the people in the other room completely forgotten

Hasn't forgotten, but even his best intentions and deepest shames couldn't stand up to the amazing things that Gamzee was doing inside him. He sings for Gamzee, sings in the best way. At least he tried to stifle his voice against Gamzees skin with kisses and nips, but in the end it only seemed to make things worse.

"fuck, you make the most beautiful noises" he crooned his hands sliding down his back to his arse, kneading the flesh, the bites to his neck were driving him crazy.

he whimpered into Gamzees shoulder. Unable to stand it any longer he lifted his head to pull Gamzee into a deep kiss, tongue mimicking his motions below

Gamzee chirped into Tavros' mouth, he put a hand up, giving one of his horns the slightest brush around the base, cradling his neck

he jumped and gasped, clutching him tighter "Gamzee take it easy! I-if you do that I might "

"we can just rinse it off, we're in the tub" he purred, pulling him back into a kiss

He moved a hand down to caress their bulges between them as they kiss, perhaps it'll be easy to wash, but he still doesn't want the closeness to end. Never. Would stay like this for all eternity if he could

Gamzee let his fingers trail over his horn again, there wasn't really enough room at their bulges for 2 hands, Gamzee wished that it it didn't have to end, but regrettably he felt it approaching

He rumbled deeply under Gamzee, warning of his own impending release as Gamzee unfairly tormented his horns. He kept trying to press closer, unable to lift his lips but sitting up off the tub in his eagerness, suspended by his back muscles alone

Gamzee grabbed the others hips, helping him move against him, his bulge writhing inside "fuck, bro, 'm close"

He couldn't help a little mischievous grin. He decided this was an invitation to try and make him scream. Leaning his head forward he sunk his teeth into Gamzees neck as his hands rose to assault both his horns at once

Gamzee did indeed scream, the release hitting him hard, his yell reverberated through the tiled room, releasing his genetic material, body shaking, he tried to get the other to release as well, almost gripping his horns

of all his efforts, the beautiful sound sound of his screams are what render Tavros helpless to resist. It reduces him to a keening, trembling mess even forced to let go of Gamzees horns to hold him crushingly close until the lights dancing in his vision released their grip on him and he no longer feared he might float away

Gamzee shuddered against Tavros, holding him as close as possible, as you would expect the water had swirls of brown and purple mixing lazily their shouts echoed away, it had definitely been too long for Gamzee, he swore he was still seeing stars.

Tavros relaxed back into the tub, somewhat propped up on his horns as he had slid downwards with all the activity. He kept Gamzee possessively pressed to his chest as his eyes drifted closed with soft noises of pure contentment.

Gamzee purred softly, stroking Tavros' hair, he didn't think he could be happier after a short while he shifted a little "we might wanna rinse off bro, not much of a fan of stewing in juices" he nosed at his cheek

"Oh, um, yeah I think, maybe, we undid a lot of our hard work" worth it!

"alright brother" he pulled the plug out in the bath, the stained water draining away, "do I gotta get my hair washed again?" he asked pathetically, hoping that he could just get it brushed or whatever

He sighed "only the ends, it'll just take a minute, but it think maybe, mine need to be done all over"

"ah, it wont take long brother, then we can dry ourselves and let our brothers use the tub" he got the water going again

"you, um, think they heard us?" as he watched him work

"yeah probably bro, we weren't exactly quiet" he was pretty sure Karkat was going to be cross at him for doing that he wasn't supposed to

"ohh man" wont be able to look John in the eye all day after this "well they left us alone they cant be too mad" In truth when Karkat figured out what is up he would have tried to distract and redirect John away from the bathroom

"well bro, it was probably more like they didn't wanna see what we were doing" he chuckled finishing with Tavros' hair

"I don't even want to think about them doing that" squeezed the excess water out he certainly felt better but still it was just a little mortifying

"we done in here?" he asked looking at his fingers, they were extra pruney

"Well I need to get dressed" already levering himself out of the water to the tubs edge

Gamzee helped him out the bath, wrapping him up in a towel, setting him on a chair in the bathroom, starting to dry himself off

Will dry himself off and set to changing as quick as he can, it's always been a bit of an ordeal but time and practice have sped up the process he's soon daisy fresh and perhaps glowing a little

Gamzee snickered "Tav, you are the cutest motherfucker, sitting there with that adorable face" Gamzee dried himself off slower

Defensively "I'm not making a face" of course now he does

"ah but you were, not that your face isn't adorable normally" he considered himself dry enough, he grabbed his clothes

“you're just trying to make me blush!”

"yep" he put his baggy pants on, slipping the shirt on as well, dressing only taking him a moment "need help bro?

"No I've got it, heh, better safe this time you know" It takes some careful balancing to yank his pants up, but he's proud enough to have it down to a science with the minimal of embarrassing spills he'll only take a few minutes more than Gamzee to be ready

Gamzee picked him up as soon as he was done getting dressed, he really pitied the other having to get dressed by himself, and it was an effort to stop himself helping the other no matter what

It was one of the few things he and Tavros had ever gotten into a fight over. Despite all claims of weakness the boy had a fierce independent streak and a need to handle his own affairs. But still he accepted more help from Gamzee than anyone else, knowing how he feels 

Once in the living room again Karkat will be shooting them death glares. Its hard enough sitting alone with John who has, for some bizarre reason, been making him increasingly uncomfortable as of late, but THAT was no help WHATSOEVER. He doesn't even bother saying a word. Just glares

Gamzee managed to look sheepish for his Moirail, the glare making him hunch his shoulders the slightest bit

While they had been waiting John had distracted himself, playing a video game, feeling comfortable around Karkat

Tavros just plain cannot look Karkats way, instead focusing on Gamzees chest and turning a few shades browner 

After a long and obviously painfully internal struggle Karkat decides not to say anything. They have been in too close quarters, under too much stress, for too long. Something had to give after all "They're done, you should probably go next John" prays they cleaned up

"alright Karkat, I just finished that level luckily" he hopped up, stretching and heading for the bathroom, luckily they had cleaned up well

Gamzee put Tavros into his chair "do you uh want to brush my hair now or later?"

"Mayaswelldoitnow" Less of a reply more of a mumble, but he'll gesture Gamzee to come closer, trying as hard as he can to pretend he is invisible

Gamzee nodded moving over, sitting on the floor in front of him, his back to Tavros "got the brush bro?"

"Yeah" He produces and starts on Gamzees hair "I wish we had a drying device but it shouldn't re-tangle too bad if I braid it for a little, if that's ok"

These two are dumb-asses! unfortunately they are Karkats dumb-asses, Karkat shook his head and moved to the kitchen to get his dumb-asses some food

"do whatever you need bro" he said closing his eyes, relaxing as much as he could

At least the wet hair wont tug and pinch, and he'll make sure to give his scalp lost of attention so it might feel nice. Relaxing himself now that Karkat has slipped out

Gamzee eventually started purring, without all the awful knots in his hair the brushing was almost pleasant, the smallest snags making him twitch

Tavros chuckles now just trying to indulge him. He always liked making him purr. Feeling Gamzee melt in his hands is always the best thing! May just get his fingers in there to sneak in a little scratch too

Gamzee shivered at the scratching "bro, that feels amazing" he breathed "I could go back to sleep, or maybe do something else" it was incredibly clear what he was insinuating

"Gamzee!" A quick check around reveals Karkat is still out "I don't really think we can get away with either. But by tonight we should be all moved right? So, so then we ought to have space to ourself for once" He wrapped his arms around Gamzee, resting his chin on his head "We'll have all night to do what we want, but not till then"

Gamzee laughed at his reaction "well I look forward to it brother, gonna make you sing" he grinned, he liked saying things to purposely make him blush

Tavros starts burying his face in Gamzees hair for unrelated reasons!

"Hey stop drooling on your bulges and get in this food-block"

"is my hair done enough?" he asked, looking to the food-block "we probably don't wanna leave our bro waiting"

"Coming!" He'll pull it into a fast and loose braid so it can dry, leaving the ends loose so it will come undone on it's own eventually

Gamzee headed into the kitchen "so what so we have to eat brother? I'm pretty sure I could eat a hoof-beast" he didn't mention that the earlier 'activities' had roused his hunger into a fire


	7. Chapter 7

Karkat would have at least learned from John what can and cant be eaten. But if any of them have an allergy to any of the alien food they'll have to find out the hard way. In the meantime he's scraped together a good breakfast for them at least "Its not grub loaf but I don't think it'll kill you. We have to be ready to move all the boxes and shit to a certain place by a certain time"

"that's fine brother, with 10 arms it'll take no time at all" he picked up one of the foods, eating it with no fuss, the food tasted alright to him.

"Just make sure you have your disguises on before we go. And for fucks sake stay together. This isn't a vacation" so he's...Nervous

"yeah brother, relax, I have the collar good and ready to go, we just need to put em on, right bro" he looked at Tavros, who was still looking embarrassed

A quiet and curt nod so focused on his food "Um yeah. And, you know, after the drones and everything, I think we can handle a little heaving lifting and hiding. It'll go fine!"

"see! Tav gets it! just gotta take a chill pill, everything will be fine" he assured his palemate

He grumbles under his breath. Is he the only one who is al all worried that they know next to nothing about the planet? And their best hope has a way of making him sick when he looks at him too long? But is trying, trying so hard, to keep his temper "Yeah fine. Just hurry up"

Gamzee sped up his eating, soon finishing the meal, he felt pretty satiated, his hair was starting to dry, curling out the braid "should we put the collars on now?" he asked

Tavros shrugged "its kinda funny seeing you as an alien" He'll put on his own though

Gamzee nodded "its pretty funny looking in a reflective pane when I look like an alien"

"Not so bad though, you still look like you and definitely not anything scary though I miss your horns, they're so perfect"

"ah well you look cute with or without horns, and you go all chocolate coloured even with the collar" he was acting a bit gooey, but he couldn't help himself, still incredibly happy

Karkat watched them, out of the corner of his eye. They were so flushed it's disgusting. And to think that's what he was fighting for. Now he's forced to watch them drool over each other like that. It's motherfucking adorable. A little sigh escapes him before he can stifle it. He quickly scowls, trying to pass it off as a sigh of exasperation trying his best to look as though he's repressing the urge to cut his own throat

Gamzee put his plate aside, afterwards he put the collar on, his hair going dirty gold, skin going pink, Karkats sigh didn't go unnoticed he went around pulling him into a hug whether he liked it or not

"HEY! Get off me you sharp bony fuck. what hideous sin did I commit to deserve this shit!"

Gamzee just held him tighter, his brother needed to take a deep breath and calm down

This is what he gets for staring like a creep at flushed flirting, no matter how much like baby bark beasts they look. After a bit more token thrashing and yelling he surrenders, going limp in Gamzees grip with a soft growl. Gamzee can be damn comfortable when he wants to be

Tavros cant help but laugh a little Gamzee has a way of making Karkat go from a scary rage machine to a petulant wiggler that amuses him to no end

Two showers and a lot of lifting later they are ready to roll. The pilot looks frazzled and hungover when he picks them up. He is insistent that no questions are asked or answered, including names. Though he seems unhappy with the amount that John is taking with them, muttering something about fuel. He still makes no demands beyond 'hurry up' 

Karkat will wait until they are out of sight before doing something to his wrist, causing a loud rocking explosion behind them

John looked out the window excitedly as the plane took off, not having been in the air many times, all the trolls were perfectly disguised, Kanaya was sitting with her hands on her lap, looking like she was lost in thought, Gamzee was sitting next to Tavros, telling some elaborate story, John watched his house get smaller and smaller.

Its all a tight fit and a long boring ride but with a captive audience Karkat will try to rope everyone into watching a movie on his husktop

John humoured Karkat watching the movie with him, though he spent the whole thing asking questions 'who's he?' 'wait what are they doing?' 'but I thought he liked the other girl?' 'whoa hold on, why are they fighting?' he really had no idea.

"Just shut up and pay attention already. This is a fucking cinematic masterpiece and you're missing it with all the noise spewing out your mouthgash. If you pay attention you would SEE, its so obvious! those two are in turmoil over the death of their Auspistice, So when his kismesis worries about potential infidelity there he tries to lure her into a false Moiraillegiance but ends up flipping black for her when her flush crush waxes pale. Now shut up and focus, it's about to get a little complicated"

"holy shit Karkat, I'm gonna need a diagram, this is possibly the most confusing thing since I had to watch Primer, hell, I think this is MORE confusing!, I don't even know the words you're trying to explain it with"

He moaned as if in pain "Just shut up and try this is the most romantic part of the whole movie" where it seems two people are trying to kill each other, and then, oooh my. Hopefully John can take it because Karkat has tons of these

John blushed a little, two trolls had been fighting and yelling insults, and now they were making out, he was soooo confused

By the end of it he ought to be completely lost, but Karkat seems downright giddy as he explains at length the subtleties of the plot. Most trolls cant even understand a word of that, John has no hope

at the end of the description John just gave him a bewildered look, it was like he was talking in a completely different language...which John supposed he was

"Oh! I know you'll love this one. The kismesis is a little weak but there is this pale love scene that's got to be the best ever made" it will never end!

John had to quickly find an excuse to not watch another movie "oh I uh, probably shouldn't watch another movie, I, uh, get plane sick" he lied

"Oh" so disappointed somehow he managed the look of a kicked puppy with subtlety. Had been looking forward this, not just finally getting the chance to indulge in his movies without guilt or worry, but especially to share them with John. Well it could wait...

"Well don't you dare vomit on me or I'll tie your protein cute closed with your own intestines" Reburies some of that excited sparkle that his romantic rants seem to give him and opens up his ~ath programs again

John felt really guilty, and before he could stop himself he was talking "well, how about we watch the movie when we're at Roses? then there's no chance of me getting plane sick" good job John, now you're going to have to watch them, but seeing the others face like that had made his chest hurt

John can see him fighting a smile. As Daves friend he is uniquely qualified to recognise that look. Inside Karkat is delighted. Has got John interested! in no time he'll be a connoisseur of the romantic arts too "I suppose I can put up with that, If we have to"

John let out a breath seeing him smile, compared to Karkats normal frown it was like he was beaming "maybe we can watch one of my movies as well?" he suggested "its only fair"

Wary, but then he really hasn't given earth cinema a fair chance "Yeah I guess so cultural exchange and all that shit"

"maybe we could make it a weekly or bi weekly thing?" he suggested "you're going to have to explain all these romances to me a whole lot more though" if he was falling into this trap he should at least try and make sense of it

And there is that sparkle again "John you are talking to the undisputed lord of all matters romantic. It may take a while but I'll get the notion of true romance carved into your think pan. Other human will fall to your feet in awe of your mastery of the heart"

John really liked that sparkle Karkat got in his eye, he wanted to see it more often "if you say so, I'm probably going to have to take notes" it was really complicated for John

"Yes. You will be schoolfed by the master! but for now tell me how your symbols sound" He points to the alphabet on his screen

"oh sure" he wanted to prank him some more, but he didn't want him mad, he went through the alphabet slowly, making sure Karkat understood

And Karkat can actually make a little progress with the translator, however halting, while Gamzee, Tavros and Kanaya jabber on the landing will come sooner than any of them expected

John frowned a little when the plane landed, they were definitely not at Roses house, the pilot told them he needed to refuel and sleep for the night, they could leave in the morning, John sighed, of course it wasn't that easy

At least a free little room was arranged for them with only three beds

John didn't think he would be able to sleep in the same bed as Kanaya, it felt rude for some reason, Gamzee and Tavros were already on the middle bed, Gamzee was bouncing on the plush platform "you don't mind sharing with me Karkat?"

"Whatever as long as you don't snore I reserve the right to stuff your pillow into your ca-nose if you do"

John snorted, "I don't snore, the worst I'll do is drool on you a little" he joked

"You hu-people are strangely ashamed of your fluids I haven't seen any slime anywhere" he kicked off his shoes and moved to the bed, curling up to take as little space as possible

John toes his shoes off, getting on the bed, there was a reasonable amount for both of them to fit, John made himself comfortable

Karkat settles his back to John, a regular cold shoulder, trying his best not to be made uncomfortable by this and failing

Tavros is disappointed that he cant follow through with his promise to Gamzee, and now more than ever is glad he didn't wait. But at least can get him snuggled comfortably on his chest

Gamzee held Tavros close, he didn't mind that their promise wouldn't be fulfilled tonight, this was just how things went.

John rolled his eyes at Karkat, turning his back to him, two could play the 'watch me ignore you' game

Hey just trying to give the guy some privacy. Has to battle his instincts and sleep in a strange place at least it'll be easier without some alien watching him. He'll even eventually succeed in slipping off

During the night John had rolled over, cuddling up to Karkat, unable to stop himself in his sleep, he didn't have too much difficulty sleeping in a strange place

Karkat will have no problem in this, in fact during the night he naturally gravitated towards the nearest body of warmth When his dreams began to bother him he turned and captured John beyond escape in a tangle of limbs, seeking cuddles and comfort in his sleep as his brow knotted up

John held Karkat close in his sleep, tucking Karkat under his chin, their legs tangling together

Karkat was more than happy to burrow his face into Johns chest, eventually relaxing into his comfy new position so deeply he's more than ready to sleep in

John found himself waking up warm and content, his arms were wrapped around something that was almost humming with warmth, he slowly came to realise the heater he was cuddling was breathing

In his sleep his face seems peaceful, in a small and fragile way that makes him look like a completely different person than when he is awake

John looked down, a little surprised that Karkat was there, he slowly remembered them sleeping in the same bed, he bit his lip, it was a little weird to have him so close, they weren't dating or anything, and this was a relationshippy thing to do...but his face looked so peaceful and relaxed, John didn't think he would be able to wake him

even as he slept Karkat nuzzled him, but unless disturbed it would be several long more minutes before he started showing any other signs of slow wakefulness

John didn't know what to do. maybe he could try and escape before he woke up?, an attempt proved that Karkat was holding him tightly, he sighed a little, maybe he should just wait until he woke up?

Eventually Karkat will take the decision out of his hands, hiding his face in Johns shirt with an objecting mumble. But as he flexed his fingers he was puzzled to find them full of something. Something that smelled rather good. Fuck. Steeling himself he lifted hid head to take a peek "What. The. Fuck. John"

While he'd been waiting he'd rested his hands on Karkats back, but when he spoke he pulled them off, a blush dusting his cheeks "hey, its not my fault! I woke up and we were like this!" he defended himself, attempting to talk quietly, the others were asleep after all

"So your solution was to hug me like a comfort plush and watch me sleep? Do you have any notion in the cesspool of alien biological matter you dare call a think pan just how fucking creepy that is?"

"look Karkat, you are holding onto me!, I couldn't move away, and I uh wasn't looking at you" he lied "I was just daydreaming in your direction"

"I was asleep! It's your fault for being so so COMFORTABLE" Scowled and let him go, sitting up and fighting a blush with little success

"well I'm sorry then" he rolled his eyes a little "and how about..we just forget this happened? it was an accident after all"

He flinched, making a quick check of the others beds. Especially lingering to stare at Gamzee with an odd sort of panic in his expression. Thank god his rant didn't wake anyone up. He'd always had a little problem with pale infidelity. People just seemed to bring him their problems, and no matter how much he cursed it and complained about it he couldn't stop himself from trying to help them all, from trying to make everyone safe and happy and smiling 

He'd thought that this trip, cutting the number of trolls he interacts with down so far, would help him with his little 'problem' (even though Sollux and Kanaya were something of strong and repeating temptations in Karkats book) And then here he was cuddling this human like the pale slut he was. It had to be pale of course because if it was flushed cuddles that would be gross. He's an alien for god sakes!

"An accident, we can just forget it" Poor Gamzee! What had he done to deserve such a horrible moirail. Well it was an accident, just an accident. Can make it up to him and he never has to know "Just. Just. Please. Don't tell Gamzee ok? He -cant- know"

John didn't really understand why Karkat looked so worried "well, sure I guess?" Karkat looked genuinely distressed "it was just an accident after all, could a happened to anyone" he attempted to reassure him "I probably should have mentioned I'm a bit cuddly when I'm asleep"

"Yeahmaybemetoo Should we start waking up the others?"

John nodded "yeah, we wanna head off as soon as possible, wanna wake these guys and I'll talk to the pilot?"

"And put an end to this whole mortifying morning" More than happy to slide away and start shaking his trolls awake careful of any lingering nightmares that might make them lash out, especially Kanaya

Kanaya didn't lash out as she was awoken, but she did growl threateningly, as he was shaken Gamzee just rolled onto his back

Tavros merely yawned and sought out his lost Gamzee blanket 

"Everyone has five minutes to prove to me they are awake and upright before I return with water as incentive"

Gamzee groaned softly "why are you making a brother get his wake on?"

Kanaya hissed but sat herself up, there wouldn't be a place to bathe if she got wet on the way to their new hive, if she got wet she wouldn't be able to fix herself up "I hope you don't need sleep any time soon" she muttered darkly

"I just want to get to this new hideout as fast as possible. Then each of you can be as big of a useless lazy waste of matter as you want to be and it's no longer my problem. The faster we get there the faster everyone gets off everyone's nerves so hurry the fuck up cause. I'm on my last one"

John came back into the room "we're leaving pretty soon, you can sleep on the plane"

Kanaya got off the bed, petting her hair into the correct shape

Gamzee wanted to calm his moirail, it sounded like he was extra edgy today, did he have a nightmare or something? he sat himself up, rubbing sleep from his eyes

He had no intention of being comforted. In fact Karkat refuses to look at anyone, Just storms his way out lest he accidentally catch John's eye and start blushing all over again. Just wants to get in the air and go!

Tavros doesn't doubt his threat about the water though, he'll tug his chair near to slide into

Gamzee sighed a little he got off the bed, scratching at his scalp, his hair felt almost unnaturally clean "you need some help Tav?" he went over to help anyway

He smiled "I'm fine Gamzee, you don't need to worry all the time but do you need help, or are you going to brush your hair on your own?"

Gamzee thought for a moment "well bro, if you don't mind could you do it? you did a pretty bitch-tits job yesterday"

"Ok ok, them come and sit before Karkat gets too impatient" He retrieved the hairbrush

Gamzee sat obediently at his feet, his curled hair had gotten tangled during the night, but it was nowhere near as bad as the day before, the normally black has was still the dirty blonde colour

Patient and careful. Of course he cant prevent all snags and tugs but being clean and recently maintained will make it all easier. And he can be finished long before Karkat starts to fuss again

Gamzee sat still, his hands clenching on his legs as his hair was tugged, but it actually felt alright

Will linger the brushing a bit longer after the tangles are out to tease the bristles around his horns and massage out his scalp until Karkat comes back to fetch them. The sooner they are in the air the better

After a short while the pilot came back into the room, looking much more sober then the day before, he grunted out something about everyone getting into the plane so he could finish this stupid debt he had with the Lalondes

Tavros will sneak in one last scratch before putting everything away "I think we're, um, ready to go?"

Gamzee stood up, a little dazed, everyone once again made their way out to the plane, John made sure that nothing had been left behind

At least this flight will be blessedly shorter. They will have plenty of daylight left when they land and plenty of time for the rest of the trip to roses'

The trip was pretty uneventful, it seemed like barely any time at all until the plane was landing at a small airport, John assumed that Rose was there waiting for them

Ready with a large truck no less with room for them and all their things. Standing beside it along the small private runway wearing a conservative lavender and black dress with the aloof air usually reserved for royalty

Kanayas green eyes widened a little as she spotted Rose, she was far more stunning in person, she wanted to get closer to her, like a moth to flame, but John called her back to help with the boxes

Expecting aliens, Rose must admit she's is a little disappointed at the small group of humans, though altogether unsurprised she expected John will have a sufficiently wild explanation for everything and opens the truck with little more than an eyebrow twitch

Karkat immediately starts hauling things by hand, leaving Gamzee to use the troll-dolly known as Tavros

Kanaya carried several boxes, looking like too much for a lady to carry, but honestly she was stronger then Tavros and probably stronger then Karkat as well, she didn't think it had been measured recently, but she was a high-middle blood. She walked over to Rose, a little intimidated

Well now rose has to admit she is impressed. A surprising show of strength for what seems to be such a refined lady. This was certainly the troll she had talked to earlier she helped her put the boxes away in the car "Welcome miss Kanaya. I trust your trip was enjoyable?"

Kanaya gave a slight shrug "if long and uninteresting is what you consider enjoyable, then yes, I suppose it was" she put the boxes into the truck, giving Rose a small smile "do you like my human disguise?" she asked

"It is very lovely, and most convincing though I must confess a certain eagerness to see you out of it as well" Kept a subtle eye on Kanaya as she speaks. Measuring her reactions

Kanayas eyes widened a little, it definitely sounded like a flirt to Kanaya. she moved a little closer to her "well, maybe when we're in the privacy of your home I might be able to show you?" she tilted her head the slightest

Rose smirked. She thought as much "I expect there will be a good deal of show and tell once we arrive home" 

Karkat elbowed his way rudely between them "Enough. Put your bulges away and get to work. You can finish that later"

Kanaya jumped a little when Karkat interrupted her, she looked thoroughly chastised "I should probably get back to work" she said embarrassed, slinking off before Karkat could tell her off again

He just shakes his head in exasperation and goes back for another load with little more than a nod to rose. She arcs an eyebrow, well it did seem to fit with what she had seen of him so far. Karkat in person was no less abrasive then the Karkat on the screen. But she must admit he keeps everyone moving at a fair and organised clip

Karkat was nothing if not a good leader, Gamzee was next carrying as many boxes as he could balance, weight not really an issue, he started packing them in a little haphazardly "hello sister, that is a pretty bitch-tits dress you're sporting" he complimented

"Indeed. Out of my projected hopes for continued interspecies relations I will accept that as a compliment and thank you"

Gamzee gave her a smile, her words not making a whole lot of sense to him "well I better get my move on before my pale brother pulls me along by my horn" he gave a laugh

Tavros will not be long behind him. But he offers only a quiet and polite greeting without fully meeting her eyes. Something about this woman puts him ill at ease. In a way it reminds him of some of the less-kind high-bloods back home. After thanking her for helping move the boxes off him he'll quickly abscond to continue helping somewhere, anywhere else

John was next, putting the boxes down, he grabbed Rose, pulling her into a tight hug "hey Rose!" he said cheerily

She returned the tight hug "Its been far too long I had almost forgotten what life could be like when I am not marinated in boredom. Though I think you've outdone yourself this time"

"hehe yeah, sorry again about this, I'll cook you whatever you want to eat, and help clean and stuff, along with bringing more entertainment then you could ever hope to enjoy" he kissed her on the cheek in a completely friendly way

She smiled "I think you will have more than enough to worry about without running yourself ragged to please me" she ruffled his hair fondly

John just gave her a big smile "well thanks a ton, but I better get the last couple boxes, one has all my DVD's in it, and I think I'd have to kick someone of they were dropped"

She nodded and soon everyone will be getting settled in the car for the last leg of the long and trying journey "I have prepared a few rooms fortunately there are just enough for everyone I was not sure what to stock the kitchen with, aside from the basics, but if need be we can make another grocery trip. Is there anything you will require in the meantime? it is prudent to make such stops before we head home I do live a bit of a distance from most markets"

"does your house have supplies for sewing? it would be in our best interests to have some more clothes"

"could we have some stuff to make us all a nice pie"

"John do you think a trip to the store can be safely uneventful or should I attend these matters on my own?"

"its up to you really, but maybe it'd be best for you to go alone, the plane was really tiring, so maybe it'd be best for us to all get settled?"

"Do you remember the way to the house?"

"probably" John scratched the back of his head

She tapped a few buttons on the dash "Naturally The GPS will help you I'll get off in town and take a taxi home in a few hours" Already aiming the car towards the well-paved main road "Message me if you have any trouble and feel free to fight over any room but my own. Will this be acceptable?"

"yeah that sounds really good, we can work out the details when we're home, we'll get rooms and stuff arranged, and I'll even promise not to set anything on fire"

"Though I cannot make accurate estimations of your sewing needs Kanaya will you be capable of safely accompanying me?" Check and mate

Kanaya smiled "I would be honoured to go with you, I believe that I should be able to safely accompany you, I will simply be seen and not heard"

With no other objections, apart from a few cautionary words from Karkat, the plan is set. Then a fast detour later will have John on his way with the boys and Rose with Kanaya all to herself in the open human world

as they got to Roses giant house John gaped, he hadn't been here in ages, he'd almost forgotten how nice her house was "well here we are guys, our new home" he smiled at the trolls

"Thank whatever deity is deranged enough to finally give us a break of moonshine in the epic whirling shit storm that is life. If I have to spent one more minute in a rusted gaper-box of metal you humans dare to refer to as transportation I am going to eviscerate someone. If I'm lucky that someone will be me. Seriously, we could have gotten here faster scooting along on our waste chutes" Yep, a little restless

John had to laugh "well then, next time we need to take a trip you can...what was that?scoot along on your waste chute" he patted Karkat on the head, mussing his hair "although hopefully another trip wont be needed"

Rumbles dangerously. Did he just seriously growl? "Lets just get our shit inside. And don't do that!" People do that when they are teasing him for being cute or short. Neither of which he is dammit! Why do people keep saying that? Would storm off ahead of him and slam the door impressively, but John has roses key

John followed after Karkat, he was so funny sometimes, his reactions were always over the top, he walked beside him "here let me get the door for you" he teased, sticking the key into the door

Karkat will make it his first order of business to stake out the bedrooms. Choosing the nicest with the most windows and claiming it in the name of Kanaya. His second order of business is apparently to get a little lost

John followed after Karkat, he was fine to let Kanaya have that room, he didn't really mind what room he had at all, he ended up getting the room with the big window, and a wall that was perfect for his TV, it was also pretty convenient when it came to the bathroom and kitchen

Karkat doesn't care much what room he ends up with, he's got his hands full helping everyone move around and unpack, make sure heavy blankets are tacked up over most of the windows to block out the daylight Make sure Gamzee and Tavros and apparently John now sit and eat something. Will only bother checking out whatever room is left after everyone is settled

it turned out to be a lot of work, but soon they had all 4 of the trolls rooms pretty much sun proof, John had ummed and ahhed about whether he wanted to get the sun blocked out his room, he ended up hanging thick curtains, so he could let light in if he wanted, when Karkat forced them all to eat John hadn't realised how hungry he'd been, eating the food quickly "you decided on a room yet Karkat?" he asked over his sandwich

"There's enough for everyone right?" Slightly defensive

John nodded, "there's enough so that we can have a room each, Gamzee and Tavros don't even have to share" he assured him "I'm sure it doesn't matter if they wanna sleep in each others rooms or whatever"

"Yeah I got whatever room they don't I'll look at it later. As long as its sun-tight and safe that's all I care"

"well brother, I hardly need my own room, I'm gonna be sleeping with you or Tav every day" Gamzee pointed out

"yeah and you're -getting- your own room because you are a dirty slovenly clown who never cleans and with no respect for personal space and I don't want your shit all over mine. I'll come to your space"

Gamzee laughed, he could swear that he'd gotten better at cleaning up after himself over the sweeps, but he supposed Karkat knew best "yeah alright then bro, I'll have the room next to Tav then"

This left one on the other side of Gamzee free "I still have a lot of shit to set up tonight though, we might not even have enough for your pile yet. You better spend the sleep in with Tavros today"

"yeah, I was gonna all up and do that anyway" he shrugged carelessly, Tavros did promise after all

John decided that he might watch Con Air tonight to celebrate a successful move

Karkat admits he's a little surprised Gamzee caved so easily. Living in close quarters they have had to balance time around carefully. But poor Gamzee hasn't really had proper time with his matesprit in ages. The man is only troll "how much do we have left?" Movies will have to wait till work is done, maybe tomorrow night

"well I have to set up my TV and DVD's in my bedroom, and you guys have to make your piles or whatever, but we're decently close to being done I think" John didn't want to think about unpacking all his books or his keyboard yet

They lost enough in the crash that the piles will have to be small. But Karkat is happy that a few of his prized posters have escaped the carnage. Some he'd managed to keep safe even after all these difficult sweeps "Good, then I can make headway on the program before daybreak"

"if you need any help just come get me, I'll leave my door open" he had his own posters to hang

"Yeah yeah" waved a dismissive hand "the day I need programing help from an alien you can just take me out back and cull me, don't worry about it. Got this covered "

"hahaha I cant code for crap any more! I more meant helping with the English side of the programming"

Tavros smiles helpfully "That's ok Cause um Karkat is kind of crap too, at programming" Karkat shoots him a withered look "uh-oh I mean in the best way, that's possible, if its possible"

John laughed "well he cant be too bad, but I know that I cant code anything, ask me to play you a song on the piano, or bake a kick-ass cake, those I can do easy"

"Nothing say useful and well spent time like banging out noise and unhealthy sugary confections"

"I'll have you know that playing piano is a difficult thing, not to mention that reading music is actually pretty hard, and I'd like to see you make a cake" he crossed his arms, a little insulted

"Oh whatever, maybe in your world it is a useful skill maybe I'll be bemoaning my pathetic lack of musical talent, wasting my life on martial prowess and now I'm destined to starve. But in the short term I don't see how either of those skills are going to help us adapt"

"at least I'd be able to get a job making music, all of your skills are pretty useless"

"That was never even a fact in fucking question. But that doesn't mean getting a job in music is something you should be proud of. At least have the decency to have a sense of shame"

"why should I be ashamed of my skills?"

"Because you still cant even defend yourself and you waste your time on that"

"I don't NEED to protect myself, I don't have to worry about being killed at the drop of a hat like you all seem to! why learn something that I don't need to know?"

"Because no matter how soft and safe your pathetic pustule of a planet is, I still highly doubt it is completely without threat. And just because you haven't seen any danger yet doesn't mean you never will. What point is there to making all that racket if you don't live to brag about it?"

John glared, Karkat had no idea what he was talking about, he stood up "I'm done eating so I'm gonna go and work on my room" his voice was tight, he didn't want to fight with Karkat, he walked off

Karkat retreated in a similar fashion, muttering about the rusted think pans of aliens already feeling the creeping fingers of guilt over the whole exchange. But still he swears to himself he's not going to ask John if they are still friends

John scowled as he got into his room, slamming his door to sate his frustration, Karkat was calling him useless!, and saying that the things that he was proud of were useless! he kicked an empty box, probably a little immaturely

Yep, right on Karkat insult your host and make him hate you. That's how handle friends. Yep he's been officially introduced to the real Karkat Vantas. This ought to wipe that optimistic smirk right off his bulge-licking bucktoothed face, now he's starting to realise what he's gotten himself into. Will stew as he continues getting at least Tavros' and some of Kanayas pile together. The individuals will have to finish it themselves of course

After a little while of acting immature, John decided to start putting everything away, his anger smouldering out until he felt resigned, he shouldn't have snapped at Karkat like that, but Karkat shouldn't have called his skills stupid, sure, John had the offensive capabilities of a bunny rabbit, it didn't mean he was useless though

There is a sharp knock on his door

John was putting his books up on one of the shelves, he wondered who was knocking at his door, part of him wanted it to be Karkat, and part of him didn't, Karkat would probably want to just bring him down further, he decided to ignore it for now

Of course for better or worse it's Karkat, holding a box "Hey, a box of your shit got left in the hall" nah this isn't awkward at all

John opened the door stared at him for a moment, taking the box as some kind of olive branch, he took it off him "thanks"

"Yeah" shifts from foot to foot "Look there is something you should know about me I am pretty much the definition of miserable asshole and I pretty much make a regular hobby of sharing that delight with others. They wanted to cull me for the good of our species and even I cant argue with that logic. So yeah sorry. Whatever" turns to walk away

John bit his lip, he grabbed Karkats shoulder "look Karkat" he said slowly "I think that we're both just a little cranky from being cooped up in the plane for so long" he reasoned "I probably took what you said too seriously"

Gave him a suspicious look. Does he always make excuses for other people when they shit on him or is this a cultural thing. He decided to let it slide. Just agree with whatever he says and try to stay on his good side for at least another night "Yeah maybe"

John gave him a smile, taking his hand off his shoulder, holding the box like a shield "I'm uh glad you came" he flushed a little, wishing that he wasn't "I uh..really..need this stuff" he tried to cover his tail, not wanting Karkat to think he was even more of a wimp then he was.

That was so lame it made Karkat sick. Oh god really sick. It gave him a hot, squirming, tingling sensation deep in his digestive sac that made him want to throw up "Right. Well I'm right down the hall. If you um lose more stuff. Or need anything" What in the name of Gl'bgolyb's slimy sagging left teat was THAT??

John gave him a small smile "actually, you could give me a hand now" he looked a little sheepish, he wanted to keep Karkat around "my uh, TV needs to be put in the right spot, and I'm not blessed with incredible strength"

Thankfully John did not seem to notice how head bashingly weak and embarrassing the words waltzing out of his noise hole were, so to prevent any further shame he slipped in to flex his mightiness for Johns benefit. May not be as strong as Kanaya, but is damn proud of what strength he has got. More than happy to show off

John was incredibly happy that the argument between them had been fixed, they soon got his TV into the perfect spot to watch from the bed "thanks a ton Karkat, I couldn't have done it without you" which was true, John had seen the trolls strength in action, and to be completely honest, Karkat probably could have done it himself

"Anything else? may as well get all this done in one go so I can change. I've been in this same shirt of your since we left and it itches"

John shook his head "I can set up my keyboard and stuff myself, its not too heavy, you go and get changed"

At least has what he could salvage of his own clothes and needn't worry about nosy neighbours so he doesn't have to borrow more things from John. So with a final nod will be off to see if he can find the ablution block for a quick rinse, without getting lost.

he shouldn't have too much trouble, the bathroom had a sign on the door, he went about putting his keyboard up and neatening up his room

And Karkat can retreat to his room wrapped in towels that he has just decided are going on his pile Fluffy = mine! In fact is going to remain the towel monster for a little while longer as he hangs up his posters and settles in to open his husktop

John set the keyboard up, plugging in some headphones, he thought about playing for a while, but something held him back, he kind of wanted to go and see Karkat again, but that was stupid, he probably didn't want to see him still, sure their friendship was still going, but it felt kind of rocky

Karkat was absorbed in endless lines of code, fruitlessly searching for the open loop with a scowl getting nowhere fast, but still uncharacteristically quiet

John found himself standing outside Karkats room, he bit his lip, going over his reasoning, he knocked on his door

"Its open what did you forget Gamzee" Who else would be knocking but his absent-minded curse of a moirail?

John opened the door a little "well its John, I was uh, wondering if you still had my ghost slime shirt, I was uh, gonna do some washing"

"Oh, yeah come in" has to dig through his pile to find it, fortunately it's not very large, less of a big pile closer to a small mess. Overall his personal belongings remain Spartan, characterised only by a few programming books and movie cases. And of course his precious posters

Karkat himself wears two towels over his body, one over his shoulders, and one over his hair. The latter falls off while he is digging but soon he'll produce the item for John along with the pants he borrowed too

John blushed deeply, Karkat was practically naked!! the towel didn't quite reach the bottom of his arse, his skin was a consistent grey all over, a really enticing colour, John probably stared longer then was decent, he spun around, facing his back to Karkat, a blush on his face

"What?" Karkat gave him a puzzled look, tugging the cumbersome towel off his shoulders to get a closer look at the clothes he holds "Did I mess them up?" giving John a very good view of much much more grey skin. And huh no nipples or belly button

John turned around in question, well he supposed that this wasn't as bad, he looked at his chest curiously, he'd known the other didn't have nipples. John probably should tell him the truth about nipples, and no belly button either, John probably had a confused look on his face

Karkats focus remains on the clothes for the moment "Kanaya can probably make you a new set if its that bad. But I th...What?" Looks around "what is it?"

"oh, you just uh, don't have any nipples or a belly button, I haven't seen you shirtless before" he said still a little amazed

"I thought that was ok for humans. You were the one dancing half naked in the food block. Or are you disgusted by my lack of hairy oily mammal bits? I don't have those things, only my tymphanal nodes and vestigial grub legs" pointing to his hips and ribs in turn

"oh its fine to walk around shirtless, its more that you're different I suppose, that's why I'm staring" he scratched the back of his head "what's a tymphanal node? or a vestigial grub leg?" he was curious

"The vestigial grub legs are where my third set of limbs used to be when I was a grub. I metamorphosed in a cocoon, but you can still see them a bit, You can on most trolls actually. Some you can even still see the body segments a bit or some hard sclerae on the back of the neck. The tymphanals are for hearing, on my ankles too"

"can I get a closer look?" he asked, this was really interesting to John

"Yeah, they aren't dangerous or anything" or vulnerable, unlike poor John and his target of a chest. Can certainly tolerate this in the name of interspecies education

John moved closer, "oh, I uh, probably should tell you, I was kidding about my nipples being vulnerable, I mean, they're sensitive, but they don't cause pregnancy, it was a silly prank" he bent to get a closer look

Scowls "what was even the point of telling me that? I thought I really hurt you!"

"hehe I'm sorry, it was funny at the time, can you tell me what the nodes do?" he asked

"No it fucking wasn't" but not about to start another fight "The nodes are basically membrane over an air sac. You can feel changes in air pressure, so you kinda hear your altitude, or if someone is near, or detect noise. Its kinda like hearing the same way smell and taste are the same, but a little less different. Fuck this is hard to explain" The nodes themselves look like little grey disks buried in almond-shaped openings on his skin. Remaining pretty flush "I don't know how exactly it works, I just know its got something to do with why ultrasonic tones give me a headache"

John hummed "oh, that's really interesting, what would happen if I touched it?" he asked

"I'd hear you? I'm not going to squirt you with anything you know. You can touch it if you want" Yes John, touch my body No brain, shut up

John nodded, crouching down, he moved the towel the slightest bit so that he could see the small nodes, he put a hand onto his hip near his hip bone, he marvelled at his skin, it was soft and smooth, almost furred, he flushed a little at the situation he was in, he lightly rubbed the pads of his thumb over the node

Karkat is getting that ill feeling again his skin is bound to get warmer as he battles a blush. He's not sensitive, so it surely cant be that. He just. oh god. what's wrong with him why does this feel so weird? Realises he's holding his breath and tries to let it out slow and easy so as not to draw attention

John really didn't notice how he was acting, how he certainly wasn't acting like just a friend, it probably wasn't normal to want to touch your friends like this, he moved a bit "can I touch where the grub legs were?" he asked but didn't wait for an answer, sliding his hand up Karkats side to touch where he could see them, if only just.

His breath picks up every so slightly. He's going to throw up, he's definitely going to throw up. No. No he's not. Oh fuck no its worse. Suddenly wishes the squirming in his guts was simply due to some illness or mere disgust. No it's the worst possible thing that could happen

But he's so soft and pink and defenceless who wouldn't pity him?

John had this weird feeling in his chest, and having his hands on Karkat was just making it worse, but it was also intoxicating, his skin was amazing to touch, it was warm and soft, but thicker then human skin easily, he got his other hand onto Karkats other side, smoothing over his skin "your skin feels really nice" he murmured

"John I swear you are so fucking pitiful"

John looked up at him, a little confused and a little hurt, what had he done to be called pitiful? he wasn't that bad was he? he took his hands off Karkat feeling really self concious all of a sudden, twisting his hands together

What did he just SAY? His eye had snuck their way to half-lidded when he wasn't looking, now they flew open wide. Struggles with the powerful urge to yank his tongue out of his mouth and nail it to the wall as a lesson to all his other traitorous organs. Has known this human for such a short time, and obviously the human is disgusted by his confession considering how the air in the room was choked with a fresh new coat of awkward. And fuuuuuck. John's not even the same species! what kind of deranged pervert is he?? purring about pity the moment he gets a flushed urge?

"No. Fuck it all. John don't look at me like that I just mean kinda pathetic, you know? like a three legged hop beast. Not like you're a useless pitiful mess" Yeah nice save Moron

"Ugh just go away"

John stood up "I'm uh sorry for whatever I did" he absconded before Karkat could reply, he felt awful, he'd obviously done something to insult the alien, he went straight to his room, he couldn't believe he'd done that

No more programming tonight, the rest of the night is reserved wallowing in regret and self-disgust. Not even the return of Kanaya and Rose is going to pry him out of his room

John also remained in his room, he set up his keyboard and headphones, losing himself playing music, it was a lot better then beating himself up, why did Karkat hate him? what had he done? he hadn't seemed like he hated John touching him, and he'd said it was allowed, and he'd called him pitiful? it was so confusing, maybe he should talk to one of the other trolls about it?


	8. Chapter 8

And those two seem unlikely to budge. Leaving Tavros with his matesprit to himself and the privacy they have been craving so long

Gamzee was with Tavros, curled up on their pile, it was a bit less extravagant then normal, but Gamzee really didn't mind, he was nibbling at Tavros' ear

Tavros was already purring heavily, arms wrapped possessively around Gamzee's lanky frame. The feeling that he no longer had to tone it down or hold back had brought out some hardcore cuddles in him, nuzzling Gamzee's hair and everything

Gamzee was definitely enjoying the cuddly Tavros, he bit at his neck, the warmth of him was intoxicating, he ran his arms over his back, smoothing over the skin.

The purr surges and he shifts, rolling a bit and bearing Gamzee under him. Can be surprisingly forceful in the bedroom, despite his professed lack of confidence. Something about the warmth of Gamzee in his arms brings out a bit of beast in him. He pins him there and seizes his lips with his own

Gamzee let out a pleased growl, he grabbed a handful of the others rump, he really liked it when Tavros got like this, it really set his blood boiling.

Tavros nibbled his lips in reward, careful not to draw blood. But he did not hesitate to leave love marks as he trailed his way down Gamzees neck

Gamzee liked it when Tavros got his teeth involved, he moved his head back so that Tavros had more room, he pushed his shirt up moving his hands over the planes of his back,

Tavros nibbled, licked, and nipped his way over all of Gamzees neck and parts of his chest. He would never be able to hide the evidence of who he belonged to. Though he will not move his arms out of the way so Gamzee can remove his shirt those arms are far too busy exploring Gamzees body, raking claws up his thighs inch by inch fighting the urge to just tear them

"oh god Tav" he panted, he started tearing at the back of Tavros' shirt, not really caring, he wanted to touch a lot more of Tavros, and he didn't think Tavros would let him take the shirt off

A warning growl and a sudden nip of teeth hard enough to draw blood on the side of his neck the claws travelled up and under his shirt, pushing it slowly upwards.

Gamzee bucked softly as he felt the lance of pain, it felt too good, he took his hands from the back of Tavros' shredded shirt to get his T-shirt pulled off

He is rewarded with a hum of approval, he licks the spot apologetically he stops the shirt at Gamzees elbows and twists it over his head. Cementing the deal with another possessive mark on the soft skin under his arm

Gamzee whimpered as his arms were trapped behind his head, he didn't struggle other then letting his head fall back, the restraints sending his blood pusher racing, he keened pitifully, wanting more of his matesprits touch

Tavros rolled to his side to give himself leverage and space, one hand kept Gamzees arms trapped in the shirt, his other hand attended to Gamzees pants, loosening them and pushing them down as far as he was able

Gamzee wiggled his hips to get his pants down easier, his bulge was already showing itself

teasing runs his fingers up his leg, stopping just short of his bulge instead of continuing he lifts himself up on his hands, Not letting go but taking a good long time to admire his catch. The flush troll squirming under him, a banquet for him alone, its times like these he wished he had his mobility back oh the ways he could feast "you're beautiful"

Gamzee looked at Tavros, he was possibly the luckiest troll to ever exist "I am the luckiest motherfucking troll" he breathed, deciding that Tavros had to be told "how a perfect being like you could ever find a lanky motherfucker like me beautiful is a miracle"

Tavros gave him a hungry smile "uhh, nuh uh. Almost, but, that's not the right answer. I want you to admit you're beautiful I want to hear you say it" runs a claw around the skin teasingly close to his bulge

Gamzee arched his body, it was really unfair what he was doing, but he was going to say it of course, he wanted Tavros' hands to stay on him "I am, uh, beautiful" he said, voice catching the words felt really strange escaping his throat

Rewards him by twining his fingers around his bulge, massaging him lovingly "Again, I want to hear you believe it"

Gamzee moved his hips, trying to get more attention, his bulge twined around Tavros' hand. "I'm beautiful Tav, don't stop" he panted

He released Gamzees arms, urging him on with lavish attentions he leaned in close to nibble his neck encouragingly "You are wonderful Gamzee, you're smart and beautiful and strong. Do you believe me?"

Gamzee wriggled his arms out of the shirt, wrapping them around Tavros' shoulder, Tavros' word were hitting him pretty deep, Gamzee didn't really think highly of himself, but Tavros never lied to him, he nodded, tightening his arms

Knows, just knows someday he'll understand his true potential. Thinks its so sad that other trolls practically worship him, but he just can't see the good parts of himself. Even if it edges dangerously pale sometimes, Tavros cant help it 

He is determined. He will be Gamzee's Rufioh

"I don't lie about these sorts of things" kisses the corner of his mouth "Never. And remember, I'll be mad if you call me a liar later on" Kisses him deeply, teasing his bulge to drive him wild

Gamzees head fell back as Tavros touched him expertly "I know you don't lie brother, its just, what you say is hard to make sense of in my think pan" he slid his hand down Tavros' back

He panted "that's because you were listening to too many liars back home" His cloths are beginning to feel oppressive, his bulge has already wiggled free of its sheath, the feel of Gamzee writhing underneath him is getting to be too much

"well brother, you'll just have to tell me what's right" he purred starting to pull Tavros' pants down, needing more contact

Tavros will pull back a bit so he has room to manoeuvre, since he cannot help wiggle them off

Gamzee got his pants pulled down, he grabbed Tav's hips, lining them up, his bulge went to wrap around Tav's as well as his hand

Tavros rolled more on his back, pulling Gamzee with him so he'll have the freedom to move. Besides which the sudden assault on his bulge made his arms shake dangerously. He groaned deeply

Gamzee steadier himself above Tavros, he adjusted them so that he was between Tavros' legs, he bent over so he could kiss him

Gets to savour the taste of him. Runs his hand through Gamzees hair, lingering around his horns to rub lovingly

Gamzee cant stop the moan, he bit at his lips, his bulge twined around Tavros', undulating slowly

Hisses, trying, with what little movement he could muster, to rock against Gamzee

Gamzee pitied Tavros so hard, he couldn't do all the things that Gamzee took for granted, he grabbed Tav's hips, helping him move against him, moving his hips as well, sending the most exquisite sensation through his body

"Gamzee!" it sent a tremor through him so hard it shook them both outright keening now, sees no need to hold back his voice after all, all of his attention instead on the troll in his arms

Gamzee let out a keen to match Tavros', he had the sweetest voice, Gamzee put his all into making Tavros continue to make those noises

Can sing for Gamzee, A duet of moans and whimpers better than their sweetest rap. He grasped Gamzees hips, moving the lanky troll over him to just the right spots, practically picking him up entirely

Gamzee really didn't have a problem with that, letting Tavros move his hips however he liked, the sensations were amazing for him as well, their music filled the room, almost echoing around them, he out a hand to Tavros' horn, touching the base

His bugle squirms wildly, has trouble containing himself sometimes, when Gamzee teases his horns. He needs more of Gamzee. More and faster. There can never be enough

Gamzee more firmly rubbed at his horn, his bulge was hopelessly tangled around Tavros' but this was exactly how Gamzee liked it

His bulge is trying to pull the pleasures out of Gamzee by force if need be, wanting to hear him moan, his head rolls a bit as his horns are assaulted, claw tips digging into Gamzees flesh enough to mark

Gamzee moaned loudly, willing to do anything for the Taurus, the small pricks of pain sent shivers straight to his bulge, his keen was being overlayed with a growl, he wanted Tavros writhing beneath him

It sometimes seemed strange to Tavros that a troll who was normally so mellow had such a bloody streak in bed, he secretly felt sorry for whoever ended up as Gamzees kismesis, because he doubted Gamzee would hold back the way he does with Tav. But at the moment he was a little glad for it since it was the easiest way to fight back as Gamzee inevitably reduced him to a moaning mess, barely able to put two words together

Tavros always knew exactly what to do to get Gamzee reduced to a mess, he bit softly at his neck, he had accidentally hurt Tav a few times, getting too enthusiastic, Gamzee's bulge started to slip over the edge of the others nook

"Yesss" At least he could get that out. He couldn't complain whenever Gamzee really hurt him. Whatever else it came along with was usually too incredible for words anyway. Besides its not as though Gamzee would kill him, or do any permanent damage beyond a few love-scars. Tavros trusted him implicitly

Gamzee's arms tightened around Tavros as he slowly teased his bulge in, payback from a little earlier

Tries to rumble a growl and strangle a whimper all at once what comes out is an odd choked combination of the two "Gamzee, please..." his own bulge seeks out his nook, brushing the entrance, trying to settle long enough to go any further

"well, since you asked so nicely" his voice was low with a purr, his bulge sliding in smoothly, he tilted his hips to try and help the other inside

As Gamzee pushes in it takes him a few paralysed moments to recover. He doesn't tease as he finally enters, just eager for more more. He lets Gamzee down to wrap his arms tight around him and hold him so close purring deep in his chest

Gamzee purred deeply, holding Tav close and taking a moment to relish the feeling of them being like this, of course it didn't take long before he was rutting his hips to get more sensation

Tavros will scrape his teeth over Gamzees flesh, blowing on the raw skin afterwards as he finally claims Gamzees as his own. So lost in bliss he can barely see

Gamzee's purr went up a notch to almost a growl as Tavros bit at his neck, he moved his hips and body so that they both were stimulated in the best way, he didn't think that they were missing out because of Tav's disability,

At times has deep regrets to the contrary, but at such a moment there is just no room for them. Reaches up for Gamzees horn but in his blind passion he is clumsy and accidentally scratches Gamzees face a little, mumbles an apology into his skin

Gamzee shook his head, Gamzee would never be upset at scratches, sometimes he would like more, but Tavros was so sweet he made up for it, and the scratches every now and then were just hotter, Gamzee connected their lips, luring the others tongue into his mouth

Moves his tongue in unison with his bulge, somehow making the act endlessly tender in his apology 

Gamzee keened softly, his bulge was rubbing inside the other, twisting on itself

Isn't going to last long at this rate, trying to slow down, draw it out. Sooth the heat of Gamzees body to buy himself time

Gamzee felt Tavros trying to slow down and he made an effort to do the same, not having a whole lot of luck, he ran a hand over Tav's thigh

Tavros tried, he really did. But cant be expected to hold out forever his voice trembles "G-Gamzee, are you?"

Gamzee got meaning from the stuttered words, nodding against his neck, he nipped at the flesh there, his hips rolling

"Gam I cant I-I" Well hopes Gamzee has the presence of mind to think of a bucket Tavros practically screams in Gamzees ear, claws drawing blood as he holds on, trying to substitute for his strong desire to buck as he empties himself

Gamzee orgasmed Tavros shortly after the claws dug into him, releasing his genetic material, keening lowly, he continued to move against him, riding out the orgasm

Nuzzles him lovingly as the experience turns his bones to hot liquid inside him

Gamzee laid on top of him, nuzzling into his neck "I love you bro" he murmured, cradling Tavros, he meant more then the whole universe to Gamzee

"I love you too" Soaring. Gamzee is the best thing that has ever happened to him. And out here, in this primitive savage place with no caste system they can be together without fear or reprisal. Its his paradise

Gamzee moved around until he was laying next to Tavros, he didn't think he had been so relaxed in a while, this new planet was a miracle, no subjugglation training, no fighting, well, he was pretty sure that Karkat wasn't going to let him never fight again, that was just how that fucker rolled, and he could be with his quads and never worry about anything, he let out a happy sigh

It takes him a long moment to notice the blood on his claws "Are you ok? did I hurt you? sorry" he scoots a touch closer, resting his head on Gamzees shoulder

Gamzee shook his head "naw bro, it felt really good" he rubbed his cheek on his head "you shouldn't be sorry for giving me the best feeling in the world"

He chuckled "well I'm glad your not mad, but, maybe Karkat will be mad at me for beating you up"

"I don't think he'll mind bro, I'll tell him like it is" he ran a hand over his back

"I don't think he'll need to ask. Um, I think I definitely might have gotten carried away on your neck" the virtual scarf of Hickeys will be pretty much impossible to hide "sorry"

Gamzee run his hand over his neck, small skitters of pleasure as he ran over the marks "well then, everyone will be knowin I'm yours bro" he smiled

He puffed a little despite himself. Cant help but like that thought just a little too much he wrapped his arms around Gamzee the shaking has finally left his limbs and is leaving them heavy as lead, his mind may clamour for another round, but his body seems to have its sights set on sleep. Still he resists

Gamzee kisses his forehead "get some sleep bro, we got all the time in the world" he wouldn't mind going again, but Tav looked like he was about to fall asleep then and there

Will mumble an incoherent complaint, but in the end he will surrender, turning over to cuddle Gamzee in his sleep, laying atop him to make sure he stays put

It was dark and they were in a maze of a lab the shadows dropped into an abyss. Rainbows were everywhere and Gamzee knew he had made them, he had taken the rainbows from his friends, all the colours he could find. Their friends were dead /Tavros/ was dead, it was his fault, all his fault he couldn't stop himself from cutting up the bodies of his friends, taking their miracles, painting bloody rainbows. There were colours missing he was holding Tavros' corpse, his friend was dead, a hole through his chest. there was someone there, whispering to him, tell him to put the body down, there were no more miracles in that body, he had to find more but how did it expect him to put his brother down? there was a horrible roaring noise that came from inside his dream and he woke up, but he didn't know if he had woken up, everything was dark, but his vision was black around the edges, his face was wet, there was something laying on him, it was a body! his think pan screeched at him, it was a corpse, get it off! he almost threw the body off him, standing up, shaking, he had to see Karkat, Karkat could make the noise go away, he almost sprinted out the room looking for his moirail

Tavros is woken from a dead sleep by being forced to do his best impression of a sack of potatoes, tossed right off the pile. Confused is too mild a term to describe his expression "OW! G-Gamzee? Gamzee!!" but he just ran, what in Alternia is going on here?

Karkat has gotten dressed in his own bed clothes, but is still far from sleep, having given up on the idea of doing anything productive and instead trying to drown his self-deprecating mental soliloquy in his cheesiest romcom. The ruckus down the hall will not escape his notice

Gamzee ran to Karkats room, too upset to knock, just barging in, he looked in pretty bad shape, other then being naked he was shaking. tears on his face

He had already been missing his moirail after his own spectacular fuck up but one look at that pitiful tear-stained face and every drop of self pity got ejected from his feel-sacks to make room for a fresh delivery of ice-cold fear and worry. If Tavros is responsible for this Karkat is going to strap him to a rocket and blast his lame shit back to Alternia

He hopped to his feet "What happened??" rushing to Gamzees side

Gamzee grabbed Karkat, almost collapsing against him, he was holding Karkat like he was a piece of wood and they were in an ocean, "e-everyone was dead, it-it was my fault, T-Tavros was dead, th-there was blood everywhere...I-I was painting with it, I was a subjugglator" he hiccuped against Karkats neck

"Oh fuck me. A daymare" He almost melts with relief "Come on you overgrown clown" He guided him slowly back to the little pile "Slow down, breath, and tell me the whole thing"

Gamzee sat on the pile, pulling Karkat onto his lap, wanting to be in as much contact as he could, he didn't care that he was acting like a wriggler "it..wasn't a normal daymare, I've never had daymares like that...it was like it really happened like a bad memory" he murmured "but our friends, they were dead, Equius, Sollux, Nepeta, Feferi a-and Tavros, and...I had the bodies and I was covering the walls in blood, c-cutting them open, and there was something talking to me, telling me that I had to get m-more bodies"

Karkat cuddled him, stroking his hair soothingly "I've heard ancestral memories can feel like reality. Especially considering you've been sleeping without sopor, plus all the stress of this entire clusterfuck of a trip"

Gamzee just held him closer "I...don't wanna go back to sleep" the dream had been terrifying, he felt like his blood pusher still wasn't back to normal speed

"Gamzee" kisses his forehead "You know it cant ever be true. Never mind it's not in your nature. Never mind you're never even going to see most of those people ever again. And never mind I know you'd chew off both your arms before you would ever dare hurt Tavros, no matter how fucked up you are. You. Are. Not. like them. You will. Never. Be like them" rocks him slightly "And even if you are crazy or stupid enough to think some part of that is somewhere deep inside you. you -know- I'll never let it happen. It is my job to keep your shit in check and as long as I'm alive I'm not letting you get away with any subjugglator nonsense. And you know I'm too mean to die "

his words were like a soothing balm, Gamzee nodded, tightening his grip a little "I'm so glad that I have you, I don't wanna think about where I'd be if I didn't have you bro" he said softly, Karkat was skilled at kicking all of his worried into the dust, and he was right, though he always worried that he had some find of monster hidden in his blood, the sweeps he had been forced to go to subjugglation training didn't help his mindset

And Karkat revelled in pointing out that the training hadn't turned him into a rainbow licking psychopath, much to the chagrin of his teachers. Karkat scrubbed his cheeks clean with his sleeve "Probably better off. I'm just lucky you haven't come to your senses yet, I blame all the wigglerhood trauma to your thinkpan, I have to keep on my toes taking care of you so you wont realise how much more incredible you could be with a decent moirail. So shh don't tell"

Gamzee gave him a watery smile "you're the best moirail a troll could ever want" he gave Karkat a kiss on the top of the head, trying to convey how thankful he was, "the only thing that I'm.incredible at is being a giant weight holding everyone back, you could have any palemate you want, and..I'm always doing stupid things..when I woke up I just threw Tav on the floor to come here..I wasn't even thinking straight..he probably wants nothing to do with me now" he really hated pouring his heart out like this, it was like he had hooks in his pump

"That's a load of hoof-beast droppings big enough even you should be able to smell it. You're not holding us back. Fuck you know good and well you are the one and only reason all of us aren't painting our own rainbows all over the culling forks. A fucking mutant blood with the personality and charm of a blender? No, you know what - no I'm not even gonna justify that second one with a response lest the weight of the sheer idiocy of that thought collapse my thinkpan in on itself 

Anyway. Don't beat yourself up over doing stupid shit. Everyone is not just -allowed- to do stupid shit, they are -required- to by the laws of fate and predestination paradox spacey wacey bullshit. Noone is an exception. But that is how you tell who your friends are. They put up with your stupid shit

Think about it. would Tavros - the troll physically incapable of hate in any form, seriously he cant even dislike a food item too intensely without apologising to the plate. Would Tavros really be so angry over getting dropped that he'd not want to see you? Or would he be worried to death about you and come crawling after you blubbering apologies for not falling on his ass the right way?"

Gamzee listened intently, "well Karkat, Tav can be pretty assertive" he said after Karkat was done talking "when its just him and me he's a whole different troll, just like you bro"

Going to break this pathetic all of excuses down brick by brick with his bare hands if he must "Even if Tavros is that different; do you really think that if you run out of the room in tears he's not going to bother being worried and go straight to mad? Do you really think his pity for you is that shallow?"

Gamzee shook his head "but...what if I hurt him?"

"You didn't hurt him. And you know you didn't hurt him. If you really thought for even a moment that you caused him any kind of real harm you'd already be over there checking up on him, or you'd be sending me to do it. You probably did worse to him during all that racket you were making earlier"

Gamzee had the decency to blush "sorry about that, but he did more damage to me then I did to him" he still had the scratch on his face, and there were the claw marks on his back

Will shoosh him. Not even going to think about what kind of nightmare it is to be having a quadrant crisis while someone is pailing right nearby "Never mind that I'm just glad at least someone has a functioning red quadrant because I can guarantee you, Kanaya and I aren't happening. If it makes you wear that vapid idiotic smile then I don't mind a little noise. But the point is Tavros is fine and he's going to forgive you. So stop trying to divert"

Gamzee frowned a little, Karkat was having red problems "whoa whoa bro, tell me about your flushed quadrant, what happened?" he could deduce that he probably wasn't flushing red for Kanaya, and he hadn't known Rose long enough to be flushed for her

"Hey what the fuck did I say about diverting? Nuh-uh This is not the time for the 'tales of Karkat Vantas as his over-active drama bladder' This is Gamzee time"

Gamzee nodded "but what if I wanna change Gamzee time to Karkat time?" he asked, squeezing Karkat a little, he was feeling much better, not to mention talking about Karkat would get his mind off it

He looks away. Its his moirail yes, but he's not so sure he wants to share about his feelings for John. To tell him the true depths of his perversion, possibly his sick mutant thinkpan at work, falling for an alien. He couldn't stand it if Gamzee were to look at him in disgust "It's not anything new or not obvious. We're pretty much the last four trolls left. Not much room for quadrant drama there. I have one quadrant filled and it's pretty much going to stay that way forever. I knew this from the beginning but. Well I know we weren't together officially, but Sollux and I flipped a lot sometimes and I guess I thought.. maybe.. and now I'm just being a grub about it" Scowls

Gamzee knew that he wasn't getting the whole story, but he didn't want to force him to do anything "you know that you can talk to me about any motherfucking thing? and I'm always gonna feel the same, cause you're my palest of bros, you've helped me through some of the hardest times, its only fair that I do it back"

No! not falling for the guilt trip not going to look at him lest he pull the face with the barkbeast eyes that makes him feel all warm and foggy in the head "Shut up and kiss me you grub fisted bulge-licker"

Gamzee did as he was told, he took Karkats chin, giving him a tender look before pressing his lips softly to his, his hand moving to cradle his neck

Karkat presses closer to him at least able to lose himself in the kiss, and hopefully chasing away any of Gamzees curiosities about Karkats potential flushcrushes. Carded his fingers through Gamzees hair as they broke apart "feel any better?"

Gamzee nodded, he still wanted to know, but he could let it slide, Karkat was giving him a really intense look, he pulled him into a shorter kiss, mostly just bumping his lips to the corner of his mouth

"You should at least try to sleep" presses his lips to Gamzees bottom lip briefly "I can wake you if you start having any nightmares. You wont feel much better come nightfall if you don't sleep"

Gamzee nodded "I'll try and get some sleep then, you..uh wont leave me right?" he asked, hating how weak his voice sounded, his fingers played on Karkats back nervously

"Never" Will lay him down, get him comfy and covered warmly with one of those blankets rose left in the room. Will snuggle him near so he can stroke his hair and horns with soft reassuring touches to lull him to sleep. He keeps his husktop near so he can watch movies on mute. But he wont leave and he wont sleep. He's got a moirail to rock and that's more important than anything

If Gamzee had been going to have another nightmare Karkat did a perfect job of keeping them away, he held Karkat close in his sleep, every now and then his arms tightening the slightest bit, almost making sure he was still there, he might have woken up but Karkat put him right back to sleep.

Karkat remains up and diligent, shooshing, kissing, and whispering comforting things in his moirails ear any time he seems the least bit distressed or twitchy. He wont wake Gamzee, instead will try to let him sleep as long as possible. They will end up hopelessly tangled together.

Elsewhere Tavros saw no point in returning to the pile, so he cleaned up and got dressed. though later on he would fall asleep with his head on the kitchen table he would still be the first one up

John was the next one up, rubbing at his face, he was a little surprised to see Tavros without Gamzee, he had his head resting on his arms, he wondered if he was asleep "morning Tav" he said as a test

"mmph." he jerked his head up, blinking rapidly as he tried to adjust to seeing again

"is your pile so uncomfortable that the table is better?" he looked pretty dazed

"Oh! No sorry... I didn't mean to sleep. I've been up for a while and I just kinda nodded off..." he rubbed his eyes harshly

"don't be sorry, is everything ok?" he asked, a little concerned as to why he wasn't in his room

"I don't know" he rested his elbows on the table, frowning "Gamzee got upset last night. He just kind of ran off without saying anything. I think he's with Karkat now, I haven't seen him."

John took a seat at the table, looking at him, "so, uh, could you explain to me about what's going on between you three? because uh, its a little confusing to me" he explained "I know that you and Gamzee are uh matesprits, but Gamzee and Karkat act like more then friends"

"Well they're moirails of course. I know Karkat doesn't seem to act like it all the time, but he really does love Gamzee a lot."

"but, what's a moirail?"

He gapes a bit at John "Humans don't have moirails? Uuuh wow, um. Well its one of the quadrants. Well its like the red but it's not... You know Karkat is way better at explaining romance things."

John frowned at the mention of Karkat "he and I uh...got in a fight I think..." he was still confused about what had happened

Considering they are talking about Karkat, Tavros could not bring himself to be surprised "Oh, what did he say?" He chides himself, must he really assume it was Karkat who started the fight? Their leader at least deserved the benefit of the doubt, however long the doubt lasted "I mean what happened?"

John frowned a little "well he was showing his tynamo nodes, and I asked if I could touch it, and he said it was alright, and then I touched where his grub legs were, and..then he called me pitiful, and pathetic as a 3 legged rabbit, I..have no idea what I did to insult him!" he put his face in his hands

Tavros proceeds to choke on air. There are so many things wrong right now he doesn't even know how to begin to react to that "ffff, uh, well what, ah, then what did you d-do?"

"well, I had no idea what I even did to make him upset, so I just apologised and absconded" he ran a hand through his hair "tell me the truth, did I fuck everything up?"

He covered his mouth. "He confessed his pity to you ... a-and you said sorry and ran away?... Oh man. that's maybe kind of messed up, but maybe not, I mean you haven't known him for very long. So maybe it's pretty messed up of him." He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he thought "Well, um, look. Even if last night was pretty bad between you two, I don't think Karkat will stay mad. I mean maybe he'll blow up once or twice, but he'll get over it fast because he definitely doesn't like letting things like this getting in the way of everyone getting along."

John looked confused "but, what? confessed his pity? does pity have a different meaning to you guys?"

Tavros matches his confused face "Pity is pity. You choose an auspistice pair and a kismesis based on your heartfelt hate from them, and you choose a moirail or matesprit because you deeply pity them... What does pity mean for humans?"

"well..I guess it means that you feel sorry for them, but what did I do to make him feel sorry for me?"

"I don't know. I mean everyone pities something different about their matesprit. Um... like Gamzee. I pity how he's always way too kind for a proper highblood. I pity how he doesn't see how handsome or smart he really is, like he's got really low self-confidence sometimes but most people cant tell. I pity how he was practically abandoned by his lusus and everyone was always trying to force him to be something he's not... And when you, um, pity someone like that you just want to... hold them. Like, kind of, you want to protect them and make it all, uh, better, forever ... " Making himself blush a deep brown as he speaks. Cant help it! pities Gamzee so much, but it's weird talking about it so frankly. But the love and affection in his tone is unmistakeable "You know you pity someone when all you really want in the world is to see them smile."

John blinked, putting the pieces together, so troll relationships were based on pity instead of love, well, it was more like looking at love from a different angle "so....Karkat was saying that he uh likes me...like /that/?" he really didn't know what to feel, he really did like Karkat, but he was an alien that he hadn't known that long

So John really didn't understand. It was tragic in a strange backwards way. In the end it was like one of Karkats awful movies "Um, maybe, probably so. Yes. I didn't think he would be into aliens like that. But, I don't know, maybe it's because he's a mutant?"

John paled a little, this was way too weird to talk about, his head almost felt like it was spinning, "I uh, fuck, I really don't know how I feel about this, I'm going to...go to my room for a bit and think ok, or...maybe I'll talk to Rose, I dunno, I'll see ya later Tavros"

"Yeah, sorry, good luck." Feels bad for John. Having that sprung on him was uncalled for. Tavros could certainly relate to how awkward surprise confessions could be. On top of it all John and Karkat were relative strangers. Though it may explain why Gamzee ran out like that, perhaps he heard his moirail crying?

John wondered if Rose was awake, wandering around near her room, lost in thought

Tended to wake early, using the morning hours for free writing, though she had to admit having someone lurking outside her door was rather disturbing to the creative process. At last... "Either enter or move along, but lurking in doorways is rude"

John jumped hearing her voice, of course she'd heard him, he wasn't exactly sneaking...though that would be weird, he went into her room, looking distinctly uncomfortable

She put her pencil and papers aside, sliding her reading glasses off with a sigh. She doesn't exactly need them to read, but they help a bit. Plus she feels they make her look attractively bookish "John, how delightful to see my dear friend. I assume you have come to visit me for the pleasure of my company with no ulterior motive whatsoever"

John scratched the back of his head "I'm afraid you're wrong, I wish I was here for nothing though, I uh, need someone to talk to" he walked closed to Rose

She clasps the arm of her glasses in her teeth. smirks dryly "really? Imagine my surprise. Have a seat and tell me what's wrong"

John sighed, walking over and sitting opposite her, he chewed on his thumb for a moment, "well....uh, Karkat likes me...and I dunno what to do..." he looked down at his knees

"He... likes you. Am I presume this to be the romantic grade-school definition of the verb 'like'?"

"well...he confessed his 'pity' to me, and I thought that he meant that he thought I was pathetic..or something, but I talked to Tavros this morning, and he told me that pity is what troll relationships are based off...romantic ones"

She raised an eyebrow. This fascinated her. She would have to talk to Kanaya about it. But she had an important matter to attend in the meantime. "Are you disgusted, to be the object of affection for an non-human being?"

John bit his lip "that's...just it, I don't know how I feel, I'm not...disgusted, just confused, I..haven't really had a guy confess to me before..." 

It takes every fibre of strength she has not to roll her eyes "How do you feel towards him specifically? Is he your friend?"

John nodded "it...feels like I've known him a lot longer then I have"

"Do you feel towards him the same way you do towards Dave, or is there a different element to it?"

John had to think really hard about that, comparing Dave and Karkat mentally, Dave was his bro of how ever many years, but last night...when he'd seen Karkat essentially naked he hadn't wanted to give him space, he'd wanted to look closer "I..guess" he mumbled, but he wanted to look at him naked cause he was interesting...right?

"Your tone of certainty is most reassuring. What I find especially curious is how close you two have gotten in such a brief space of time. It took you years to become this close with Dave, but in less than a month you have grown a similarly close relationship with a strange alien. Do you think it would be possible that you may develop new and stronger feelings for him, in time?"

John put a hand to the back of his neck "I..don't know, I was...touching him...last night, when I was getting my T-shirt back off him, and...it didn't feel weird or anything...I.really only stopped because he told me I was uh pitiful, and I thought it was a bad thing"

"You were touching him... and removing your T-shirt off him. John..." Takes a moment of silence to rub at the bridge of her nose. "John, What is it, about this idea your friend might harbour a romantic interest in you, that perturbs you the most?"

"I wasn't taking the T-shirt /off/ him, it was in his room, and he was just wearing a towel" he said quickly, but what bothered him the most...about being with Karkat? he was really funny and cute, and protective of his friends "I..I just don't know what to do...you know I have hardly any experience with girls..."

"strictly speaking, Karkat isn't a girl"

"I know! that's exactly it! with girls I..at least have /some/ idea of what I should do"

"And what would you do, if he were a normal girl, who happened to confess her affections to you?"

John tried to imagine Karkat as a girl, and he couldn't, Karkat wasn't girly in the least, he instead thought about how they got along, he really liked to talk to Karkat, and touching him had given him that feeling in his chest "I..dunno, its weird to think of him as a girl, he is as far from girly as you can get"

"We don't know that. To be honest we know nothing of troll gender. If they have different definitions of romance it stands to reason their gender is not the same as ours either. It may be best to think of Karkat not as a boy or a girl, but a new entity entirely"

John nodded "I know, but, he, I" he tried to get his words in order "well...I think of coupley things like...watching movies...going on dates..." he ran a hand through his hair "well it...would probably be good..."

"John, consider carefully. If you really only saw him as a friend, with no romantic feeling whatsoever you would not have even seen the need to come talk to me in the first place. You could let Karkat down and be done with it. You feel something towards him. something you're not sure what it is and until you understand that feeling you cannot decide on a proper course of action. Is this inaccurate?"

John shook his head "yeah, you're right, how....do you know what you feel though?

"You will need to test it, analyse it. When you kiss him does your stomach sport butterflies, seasickness, or nothing at all. In short you need time and a willingness to be open-minded "

John nodded slowly "what do I do then?, I probably shouldn't just walk up to him and kiss him to find out"

She smiled. "Are you sure? the look on his face would be priceless. But in all seriousness. John. You are human. What do humans do when getting to know one another romantically?"

"a date?"

She nodded "Not a bad idea John, perhaps you should try it"

"what type of date do you take an alien on? I don't know if he'd like the cinemas, troll movies are confusing as hell, maybe...I should wait? I think I would have hurt his feelings...when I ran out yesterday"

"Now that I cant say. You will have to use your best judgement. Just don't put it off forever."

John nodded "thanks for talking to me about it Rose, I'll..see how he is next time he can bare to see me"

"And please, do me a favour in turn"

"yeah? what can I do?" 

"talk to Dave and Jade and tell them something. please. They are worried, one does not abruptly pack up and move so far on a whim. I am exhausted from dodging persistent questions"

"oh sure, I can do that today" he let our a breath, his thoughts were more in order now, he stood up "I'll let you go back to reading, I might make myself some food or something"

"the moment has passed and breakfast beckons. I will join you." wonders if Kanaya is up yet

"maybe I'll make pancakes for everyone" John suggested, they had liked pancakes well enough last time.

Kanaya was indeed up, though she hadn't left her room yet, her and Rose had set up a sewing machine in one corner, she wasn't sewing yet, but she was cutting out fabric with practised ease

Hopefully the smells will rouse everyone! rose has to admit this is a great perk of having John around

It wasn't long before John had pancakes sizzling away, plates gathered, he gave the first couple to Rose.

Kanaya left the room after the smells and sounds filled her room "good evening everyone, I hope everyone slept well?" she had heard a ruckus in the middle of the day

Tavros will give rose a polite hello, not quite looking at her, and offer to go wake the others while John cooks

"that might be for the best, thank you Tavros" Kanaya smiled, taking a pair of pancakes for herself, covering them in one of the sweet sauces

Then it will be Tavros rapping on Karkats door, making the little troll grown softly. Why cant they let his moirail sleep?

Gamzee mumbled, his eyes cracking open, he had slept like a log, he curled a little tighter around Karkat, nuzzling into his neck "is it evening already...?" his voice was slow from sleep

"either that or some dumb ass doesn't know how to use windows. Not sure. You can sleep more if you want" strokes his hair

Gamzee shook his head "I'm feeling pretty good now, thanks bro"

Still not moving till he does. "No wonder you slept good, you slept on top of me. how can an ass so bony be so heavy?"

Gamzee chuckled, lifting himself off of Karkat, kissing him on the corner of the mouth "thanks brother, I..don't know what I'd be without you" he said, entirely too sappy

scowls, though there is not anywhere near enough effort in the expression to make it look the least bit serious "Eh I needed to clear my head anyway. so I can concentrate on the program"

Gamzee nodded, giving him a relaxed smile, giving him another quick kiss before standing up, scratching at his chest, he stretched kinks in his back, wondering if whoever was at the door was still there

But of course. Tavros waits dutifully along with wonderful smells coming down the hall

"At least put some clothes on before you go out there"

"all my clothes are in Tav's room, so I gotta leave the room, your clothes will be a little puny on me" he joked

"yeah but they'll cover your bulge till you get there. We're supposed to be the superior species in this hive." throws a shirt at his face

"well just give me some underwear, this shirt'll barely cover my grub legs" he held the shirt to his chest to show how small it was, he was overreacting of course

a baggy boxers follow the shirt into his face

Gamzee put the boxers on, not normally wearing them "you can have your shirt back, I'll be decent enough till I get to Tav's room..." he opened the door to the bedroom, Tav sitting there "oh, hey brother, I'm..really sorry about earlier, I had a really bad daymare..it messed with my think pan a little" he was deeply sorry

Tavros does not look mad, though he does look honestly surprised "A daymare? Oh! its ok. I hate those things too." will follow him back to the room

he nodded "I still feel bad for tossing you on the floor, but I'm glad you arn't mad Tav, I was in pretty bad shape last night" he put one of his own shirts on, doing away with the boxers, putting his pants on

"I wasn't mad. Actually I thought you had left because you heard Karkat upset about last night."

"oh, yeah, he was having a crisis or something, something red by the sounds of it, he didn't wanna talk about it with me all twisted up"

“John told me what happened. I guess for some reason he was touching Karkats grub legs and nodes and Karkat was letting him. Then Karkat kinda confessed his pity for John. Then, I guess, John just said sorry, took off, and left him there."

Gamzee blinked "oh bro, poor Karkat, its pretty mean that John would do somethin like that" he frowned a little

"Actually not really, but that's the worst part of all. Humans don't have pity like that! John didn't know what he was talking about, he thought it was another insult and thought he had done something to make Karkat mad. I tried to explain it to him, but even if he does understand I don't think he's capable of returning Karkats feelings. He was kind of upset about the whole thing"

Gamzee frowned "I dunno how to fix that bro....can we talk to John or Karkat about it? or do we see what happens?"

"I don't know. Karkat is the one who's supposed to be good with relationships... but falling for an alien is waaay beyond my scope"

Karkat is already determined it didn't happen and noone ever needs to know. If John asks, will tell him that he misunderstood. Prepared to ignore this so hard no matter how many pieces his heart is in. Unfortunately he is not aware that Tavros is a dirty dirty gossip who cant keep a secret

"well bro, you and me are both pretty bad at this, maybe we should wait and see if anything happens? or maybe we should talk to Kanaya? she's gotta know more then us" Gamzee was no better then Tavros


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i havent updated in forever

Tavros nodded "it couldn't hurt, she's usually better at this kind of thing. She's in the kitchen!"

Gamzee nodded "sounds like a motherfuckin plan then, lets go and talk to her"

And get some pancakes while they are at it before they are too cold. Meanwhile Rose is introducing Kanaya to her tea collection, boring the pants off poor John

They came out, John giving them some of the pancakes "finally, don't tell me you guys wanna talk about tea as well?" John said, a little relieved

"Uh no thank you?" will let Gamzee get Kanaya. "and, um, thank you. These look great"

"hey my sister Kanaya, do you reckon you could give some advice to Tav and I?" Gamzee asked, Kanaya gave him a confused look, "what do you want to know?"

Tavros cannot face palm with hands full of pancakes Not here! is a dirty dirty gossip, but isn't that terrible "Well, Kanaya, can we talk to you in my room, for a minute?"

Kanaya blinked, this was pretty suspicious, she nodded though "you will have to educate me more about tea when I return" she walked over to Tavros

Tavros will drag them back to the safety of his room and close the door before daring to turn to Kanaya again. "Please have a seat, we need to talk to you about Karkat.."

Kanaya raised a delicate eyebrow, taking a seat across from Tavros "what's this about Karkat?" he had wondered where he was, usually he was up and about for evening nutrition

"Uh.. well um... " glanced to Gamzee "maybe you ought to tell her"

Gamzee nodded "well, last night I had an awful daymare and Karkat helped me out, and he mentioned being in quadrant problems, he seemed pretty torn up but he didn't want to talk about it while I was all twisted in knots" he explained "and this evening Tav was talking to John, apparently Karkat confessed his pity and John up and absconded because he didn't understand", Kanaya nodded slowly

"Yeah, so we're not sure what to do about it!"

Kanaya sighed "I really don't know how we can help, I assume that you explained what it meant to John? its really odd that Karkat picked an alien to flush over, but I suppose pity conquers all right?" she put a finger on her lips, tapping as she thought "what do you want to do?"

"Well I don't know... help somehow. I mean its not just that John didn't understand, he said they don't have pity like that. I guess it means something awful to them. So its even possible John probably cant ever return his feelings... There has to be something we can do. We thought you might know."

Kanaya hummed "well, none of us know hardly anything about Human romance, and regrettably Karkat is probably the most experienced when it comes to the quadrants, maybe we should bring this up with Rose? she seems intelligent"

"Yeah ok...Who knows, it might get pretty interesting if it turns out we can fill quadrants with aliens"

"yes, it would be....quite interesting, if humans would fit into our quadrants, I think that maybe we should not all talk to Rose at once, as it would be quite suspicious to John if we all are talking in the same room not letting him in"

He chuckled "Well you talk to her. sometimes things she says don't make sense"

Kanaya nodded "alright, I will bring a plan back to you hopefully....try not to mention it to either of them ok?"

"Karkat will be glad to see us working this out together" Nooo. no he wouldn't. but Tavros seems to disregard this as he smiles

Kanaya didn't know about that "I have a feeling we will be told to leave them alone to work it out"

"Um, but what if they don't? Karkat can be... stubborn"

"maybe Gamzee will have to talk to him about it" she said "now, I'm going to go and talk to Rose, so you two don't do anything about them ok?"

Tavros can promise to behave, but he could make no promises for Gamzee and however he decides to pry Karkat out of his room.

Kanaya left the room to go and find Rose. Gamzee looked at Tavros "should I try and get Karbro to eat something?" he asked

"Maybe you should, he might be more reasonable, but I don't think you'll be able to get him to come out so easily"

"well a brother can try" he bent down, kissing Tavros on the lips, bumping their foreheads together

Kissed back and smiled as they bumped. Wishing him all the luck. All of it...

he left his room, knocking on Karkats door "bro if you don't get some food soon you're gonna wither away" he called through the door

Gamzee could hear him tapping away at the keyboard without pause, even as he grumbles to himself "I'm busy. Fuck off." His answers are suspiciously short and to the point

Gamzee sighed "what's got you up in knots bro? you need food or your think pan will shrivel, that's what you tell me anyway"

He sat curled up in front of his computer, peeking out of a cocoon of blankets with his knees almost under his chin. John would be out there, it was a certainty. He scowled, entirely unprepared to deal with that "I'll get something later. I'm trying to concentrate here you inconsiderate douche-nozzle. You're ruining that. Its fucking rude, stepping all over my concentration like you're dancing a shit-flailing dance. The sacred ritualistic dance of 'annoy the ever-living-fuck out of Karkat till he chokes on his own tongue'. Is that what you want? To yank out my primary speech muscle and strangle me with it??"

Gamzee frowned a little, "I would never want you to do that brother, but I'm not gonna up and force you to come out your room" he really didn't like talking through the door "can I come in and loiter around?"

A long lingering pause "I don't give a shit." He hunched over further, nailing his attention to the screen with unnecessary force to emphasise his point

Gamzee made his way into the room, shutting the door behind him, "you cold?" he asked, it was pretty weird seeing him all wrapped up in the blanket

"I'm comfortable." Scowls. Everyone knows the best way to bury emotions is beneath fluffy blankets. And these are pretty dang nice ones too

he moved around so that he was behind Karkat "maybe I can join you in your pile of cuddles?" he asked

"I thought you'd be off with Tavros acting like an empty-panned wigglers tanked on glee-biscuits and shitty rap today. Why all the clinging?" Though he will nudge back the corner of the blanket pile in invitation

Gamzee got under the blanket, sitting with his front to Karkats back, wrapping his arms around his torso, something was wrong with Karkat, even though he knew about the confession thing he wasn't going to mention it "is there anything wrong with getting my pale cuddles on with my bro?"

"As long as you don't slow me down dead weight. this human language is already so painfully stupid I think my gander-bulbs are about ready to leap back into my head and impale themselves on my fangs just to end this torment." Was attempting to create a human-to-troll library by creating definitions for human words based on image-searches and finding a equivalent troll word from the database. This was having... limited success.. He leaned back into Gamzee's chest for his comforting even as he growled and grumbled. "What's this word... hair love?" Clicks on fur affinity home page.

"uh......I think that this is more one of Equius' websites..." he idly rubbed at Karkats chest, he kind of missed the blue blood, although all his worshipping of him had made him uncomfortable

"Ffffffffuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkk there is something wrong with this species. Their outernet makes no fucking sense!" Leaned his head back to rest on Gamzee, letting his eyes close a moment. Not going to sleep! just... resting his eyes. Already had a couple nights of good sleep so he should be fine for several more

Gamzee rubbed his nose into Karkats hair "I'm sure there was something on our outernet, how else would Equius find all those pictures" he murred into the side of Karkats head "are...you alright bro?"

"Why wouldn't I be? We have a secure new hideout in a safer new world with new disguises, aliens to help us out. And most of us are even surviving and the odds have improved that will will continue to do so. Sounds like I'm pretty hunky fucking dory."

Gamzee nodded "sorry bro, was just having a feeling, musta been wrong" he planted a few kisses on Karkats neck "things are only gonna get better" forever an optimist, or at least trying

Karkat really dearly wanted to talk about it. Yet at the same time he felt as though if he didn't bring it up, then the shameful confession may as well have never happened. He wouldn't be a xenophile pervert and he wouldn't have suffered a crushing rejection by causing John to flee his presence to go empty his bowels in disgust. Can just pretend John stupidly took what he said the wrong way. Meant he was pathetic like a stray wiggler or a pet, certainly not like a matesprit, gosh no John that would be revolting and stupid to even think about. Why would you even think that? But to have any hope of keeping up the illusion he cant go letting rumours spread to the contrary, not even to his moirail. In time the sharp ache in his chest will surely go away

when he speaks its a little more subdued and honest than me meant to be "...I'll be fine."

Gamzee nodded, Karkat knew that he could always always talk to him anyway, he held Karkat close, nuzzling near his ear, he had a nice smell as always "oh, Tav was fine after last night, you were right like normal, he'd been talking to John before getting me up"

"Of course. He's too fucking flushed for you to be anything but irritatingly happy." Prays that John had the common decency not to go telling people about that fiasco. "... And I guess it's good he'd getting on with the human."

"ah bro, when you're upset it makes mountains out of molehills, you should know that. and Tav had to do some explaining to John, he was a little confused" he didn't realise that he probably want meant to be talking about this

knowshesgoingtoregretthis knowshesgoigtoregretthis "confused about what?"

"oh he was confused about quadrants and stuff, I'm glad he went to Tav for it, I'm sure I'd be about as useful as a sea-beast in a tree climbing contest"

"And...What did Tavros tell him?"

"ah he just explained what pity meant, you know it means something different to humans? I mean, its not really related to romance at all, pretty motherfucking weird"

For a good while Karkat had nothing to say to that, but his eye does seem to be developing a nasty twitch. "Any ideas why he's asking Tavros about pity all of a sudden?"

he almost said that it was because of Karkat, but he ended up shrugging instead, he decided that maybe it was better that Karkat didn't know the whole story for now

He seemed to relax a bit in Gamzee's arms "Fuck. Who knows what Pupa Pan told him. Maybe when you pity someone you give them a flanges adornment? I better talk to him later on and make sure he's got his sponge in straight about that" So John didn't understand him? All of that fuss was for nothing? Next time he is alone makes a promise to himself to pound his head repeatedly into the floor for being such a useless moron. Of course it meant something different, everything humans say means something different. It was a shame Tavros went and told him what pity meant, but that also meant that John would be even more likely to believe the whole matter was a misunderstanding and it could all blow over without a fuss... unless, of course, John first seems to express a little more interest now that he's been straightened out.

Gamzee nodded "that might be for the best, Tav and I don't know all that much, despite being in a quadrant for nearly 2 sweeps now" he cuddled Karkat close to his chest, he probably wouldn't be in such a great matespritship if he hadn't met Karkat.

"If I didn't know you any better I'd say you were being facetious." He surrendered, turning away from the long-idle screen and burying his face in Gamzees chest. He was amazed how sneaky the clown could be sometimes, detecting his stress and comforting Karkat without ever being told what the matter is or bothering dragging it out of him. After all this time it still surprises him every fucking time. Karkat found himself being swept away with a strong wave of pale pity... fucking clown.

"Bro, I don't even know the meaning of the word" he held Karkat close, stroking his fingers through his hair, he was so glad that he could help Karkat, it was a skill that he'd picked up, he'd had to develop it because as loud as Karkat was he hated letting others know that he had problems, but it was the least he could do after all the times he'd needed help over the sweeps

He let himself rumble out a rich purr. Being a softy just this once couldn't hurt, with only Gamzee around to see him being so weak.

Gamzee let out a purr of his own, scratching his skull "I really like it when you're like this" he said quietly

"Sorry... I just have a lot to worry about sometimes. Someone in this useless bunch has to." In other words, he worries because he doesn't want the others to have to worry. If he's too soft, too open, too weak... things might slip out, burdens that his moirail shouldn't have to carry. He's got so much to deal with already.  
"bro, you're just one troll, you cant expect to carry everyone's troubles, you gotta let all your friends help" he soothed, smoothing his hand over his hair "no-one expects you to either"

His happy purring added an pleasant gravel to his voice. "You do help. A lot more than I help you all sometimes."

"you don't give yourself enough credit, you made sure that we all lived after those pods malfunctioned, and you made sure that we have a safe place to live" he listed off, the purring was a nice sound "you also were the organiser for when we had to leave Alternia"

"I broke the pods in the first place with my so-called repair job and stranded us here in the first place. I was just fucking lucky to fall ass backwards into a friendly alien." Cant help but smile a bit "And mostly I just yelled a lot while Sollux did all the computer work and you brought all the resources in spite of me. But I appreciate the thought... What do you think of the humans?"

"you reckon I coulda got all the stuff unless you gave me a list? we'd all be dead if the job had been up to me" he thought about his question "well, the ones that we've met seem pretty bitch-tits, John is one funny guy, and Rose is pretty damn smart, Kanayas been spending a lot of time with her"

"They are weird to me, they are so much like trolls in some ways. Paint one grey, put some horns on and they could almost pass for a troll. But at the same time they are so alien in all the most important ways" One quadrant only? what the hell. and so soft and fragile and delicate... "And that blood, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? sometimes I don't know how to treat them"

"well yeah, its pretty weird that you have the same blood colour bro. oh, humans also talk pretty funny, and don't have pointy teeth or claws, their skin looks different too"

"there's still so much we don't know... It would probably be safer if we just keep a little bit of distance between them and us" And definitely no declarations of undying pity

"well now that you can look at their outernet you should know everything before long" he kissed the top of his head "and I reckon since we're gonna be here for a while probably we should spend more time with the humans, cause I'm pretty sure I'll go stir-crazy staying here always"

"Well yeah, we have to integrate but you can exactly expect to go filling quadrants with humans or something idiotic like that. Last thing we need is for someone to wax black for a human and cause a misunderstanding that'll get us kicked out, or worse caught and dissected"

"well bro, I don't really want a kismesis and neither does Tav, not to mention humans wouldn't make very good kismesis at all, they aren't very strong, or even threatening"

"It was an example. I'm just worried this kind of thing will get us in too much trouble. But the person it would hurt the most is Kanaya, and she's been hurt enough already." It really all hinged on how much like trolls are humans, and how safe are they...

"why would it hurt Kanaya?"

"You two don't need matesprits or moirails, you two have weird unhealthy troll brains rotted by shitty raps and are probably incapable of proper hate so you don't need kismesis and therefore no auspice either. But Kan is a healthy troll with no potential concupiscent quadrants for the rest of her life? That doesn't exactly scream eternal-contentment to me."

"high-hat alright then, she is getting pretty close to Rose though, even I can see how they've been looking at each other"

"Do you really think she would not be disgusted by the pale human? it has the colouring of a freshly moulted grub"

"I..don't think she's aiming for a black romance bro, how she looks at Rose is definitely red" despite being an airhead Gamzee does notice some things "and I think that Rose is pretty cool looking, she all up and looks like she's made of porcelain"

"I don't mean disgusted as in black, I mean disgusted as in... oh never mind. I guess maybe it's a risk we got to take, worth keeping everyone happy" Please please don't let him come to regret this, it's just hard to stick by his pessimistic guns with Gamzees fingers are teasing through his hair like that

"everything will be fine, you just gotta believe it, we've passed over the worst now" he said softly, brushing his fingers near the others horns

A soft little shiver "I want to believe that, I'm just not very good at believing things" Just cant relax his guard until he knows for sure "takes time"

"well, then its good that we have all the time in the world now" he said with a smile, giving him a soft squeeze

Karkats purring seems to falter a bit, but surges as he shakes his head, waking himself up "I should get my lazy ass off the pile."

"I was thinking of maybe doing some baking, or seeing if Tav wants to lay down some sick rhymes"

Yeah but does he reaaaly want to face John yet? "Go on then. I'll be out soon as I finish a few things, and hopefully miss the vomitous prose"

Gamzee gave him a short kiss "you'll just have to miss out" he joked, he knew Karkat hated his and Tavros' rapping

He'll linger a little longer before he lets go, but at least will emerge some form his blanket cocoon. he really doesn't want to lose the work he was doing. No matter how much it wasn't working.

"are you feeling better bro? I can always stay for more cuddles if you need it" forever a clingy moirail

"Get the fuck out already! how am I supposed to get any work done with blood-munching limpets attached to my chest?" Besides, if he needs Gamzee can always wait till dawn, well unless Gamzee wants to try again for an undisturbed night with Tavros.

Gamzee laughed "alright then, good luck with your words" he kissed him on the eyebrow, standing up "I'll seeya later, don't fry your think pan doing all that word magic"

"You'll know I do if I come out and join in " Harrumphs, shoving his nose back into the screen

Gamzee laughed "cya bro" he waved even though he couldn't see him, he left the room

Tavros will have returned to keep John company while Kanaya and rose do their thing, even if it is go on at length about tea again. Will already be offering to teach John how to play fiduspawn

John sounded pretty interested, sure he usually preferred video games, but fiduspawn sounded pretty interesting, almost like pokemon, John had dug out his DS to show Tavros one of the pokemon games in return

Tavros will be trying not to scratch the thing to hell, but only marginally succeeding "Oh!! Uh, sorry...How do you get the monsters out?"

John handed him the stylus so that he wouldn't scratch the screen as much "you have to pick the first one, there's a fire, water and grass one, and then you can use this pokemon to weaken other ones and catch them so they can join your pokemon team" he explained "you can click on the balls to see what each one looks like"

"Oh wow! they are so cool looking... but I still don't see where you get them out of the console" cyndaquil I inadvertently choose you

"oh you don't, they stay in the game, and Cyndaquil is a good choice" he complimented

Furrryyy swipes. It makes Tavros laugh in delight even if it doesn't do much to the opponent. will beacon Gamzee over if he sees him 'you got to see this"

Gamzee did come into the room, Tavros calling him over to look at a small hand held device, looking at the colourful sprites moving around. 

John continued to look at the Fiduspawn cards, unable to really read the squiggles, but the pictures were pretty cool

"Oh hey John, want me to show you my favourite monster?" eager!

he had the impression that there were actual monsters in this game, not just virtual ones "well, just show me the card for it, I dunno if Rose wants monsters running around the house" he joked

Aw, he looks so disappointed, but will hunt down the horsearoni card for him

"sorry Tavros" he apologised, watching Tavros go through the cards.

"Oh I'll get you to play someday, its better with more people you know and this isn't really Kanayas thing and Karkat.... uh he's Karkat." produces the card proudly, but will be distracted by the sound of cyndaquil "Gamzee! careful he'll lose"

"ah brother, I keep doing smoke screen, that motherfucker cant even hit me" he continued to use smoke screen.

"oh we will definitely have to play it, I used to play with pokemon cards when I was younger, though its not a lot of fun by yourself"

"Gamzee I don't think he's just going to get bored and leave... ok fine I get the next battle" crowds at his elbow to see

Gamzee chuckled, "well I just used a fire move, man, that little plant didn't stand a chance!" he watched the little bar go up, the game making a celebratory noise "oh, sounds like he gained a level" John said

They can crowd and discuss the finer points of beast raising, though it will be hampered by the trolls not being able to read what's on the screen but that never stops a gamer and there is plenty of enjoyable trial and error in store

John was having a lot of fun, he tried teaching Tavros some of the words and letters, so he might have a better chance of understanding, he really couldn't help but wonder what Karkat was doing? it was definitely his fault that he was hiding away

Karkat himself has completely forgotten about food or his promise to come back out in favour of growling threats at his program which doesn't seem to be doing much. His attempts to translate an equivalent of The Condescension have been turning up pictures of young human males with long hair, tight clothes, and dramatic lighting.

John stood up "you guys play with that, I need to shower and stuff" he was feeling kind of worried about not seeing Karkat, and it felt like a shower would make him feel better

Already the two are engrossed, fighting over what to name their new capture and eventually thoroughly misspelling their chosen name anyway. John is free to fly'

John rolled his eyes, glad that they were enjoying his game, as he was heading to the bathroom he walked past Karkats room

Then Karkat wont be able to see John. He'll only be able to hear Karkat growling through the door, alternating between threats and self-depreciating insults

John heard Karkat cursing away in his room, he bit at his lip wondering if he should go inside, stopping outside his room, he really should apologise about running away the day before...but John still wasn't a hundred percent sure about his feelings, what if Karkat asked him out or something?

"Gamzee for the hundredth fucking time I don't care how sick your incendiaries are I am not coming out there to listen. Don't think I cant tell you're out there!"

John jumped when he heard Karkat, "uh, sorry" he called "I heard something, I'll just go now"

"Oh..." For a moment he sounded far more quiet and subdued than a Karkat ever should. hecandothis hecanDOthis. "Wait John, come in here..."

John bit his lip, his hand going to the doorknob, hesitating, he can totally do this, he took a steeling breath, opening the door, coming in, he posture looked a little awkward

Karkat is sitting in a puddle of blankets, closing his computer without looking directing at John. "I heard we had a bit of a misunderstanding the other night"

John should have known that he wanted to talk about /that/ "oh, uh, I guess so, Tavros explained a lot to me this morning." he put a hand to the back of his neck, looking everywhere but the troll

"And now what do you think? after he's explained things" Braves a sidelong glance to see how he's reacting

John was looking at the floor "well...I, really don't know, I, uh, do like you a lot, and I feel like we've known each other for years rather then less then a week...I've always been really bad at working out what I'm feeling, hell, I was even talking to Rose about it this morning about it..."

Terse "you did huh..." Uuuuh fuck, well maybe she's his moirail. "Don't tell me you're trying to return my pity?"

"I.honestly have no idea what I'm doing Karkat, I mean, I do feel really sorry for you, that you had such a hard time on your home planet, and then got stranded here" he blustered

"I thought humans didn't have pity, that's why you were confused in the first place" His leading questions aren't paying off much and the sheer levels of awkward exuding from John are almost painful. Maybe it was time to let the human off the hook...

"oh, we do feel pity, though, usually calling someone pitiful is not exactly a good thing? I suppose, like, pitying someone isn't bad, but calling someone pitiful is usually bad"

"Yeah, but it sounds like you're trying to think of me in a romantic sense now, aren't you"

John just nodded a little, not really trusting himself to talk

Sighed "You sieve panned idiot. You still don't understand." He looked away as though exasperated, never mind he just isn't always the best liar. "I was calling you pitiful like a pet hopbeast or a lost wiggler is pitiful. You were being all curious and cute and unnecessarily gentle. I wasn't trying to get into your pants. Space does not revolve around your pants."

John frowned a little "well...that's not what Tavros said it meant" had he misunderstood the disabled alien? he didn't think that he had

No initial leap to relief and joy from John, it gives him a little flutter of hope in his bloodpusher that he tries in vain to squash. "Look you can say you hate a food or a malfunctioning machine, that doesn't mean you want to kill it platonically, or that you want to fuck it not-so-platonically. It just means you're mad at it right? So why cant it work the same way for the other side of the monetary unit?"

John just gave him a confused look "I..guess your right, I guess I can say that I love something and not want to like, date it" he ran a hand through his hair, he didn't know how he felt now, he had been accepting that Karkat liked him or something, but it was a misunderstanding? he supposed it took a bit of weight off his chest, he almost felt... disappointed

"Yeah, but for a misunderstanding it doesn't seem so awful." He stands and stretches, popping his back "I mean... you seem pretty pitiable in the more conventional sense. So I'm not appalled at the suggestion or anything. I mean if you ever started feeling flushed for me someday... or feeling 'love' like you call it... I guess I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of seeing where that would go." Struggles not to fidget, almost succeeds.

John flushes, fiddling with the hem of his shirt "well...ever since I talked to Tavros and Rose I've..uh, been thinking about it and stuff, its just, uh, damn, I cant get my words in order" he ran a hand through his hair

Moves closer to him "Can I try something? It might help sort out your thoughts."

John looked at him, blue eyes tentative "uh, sure?"

Knows how it works in the movie's. The lead roles kiss, the music swells in anticipation. If they are meant to be there are fireworks and inexplicable flowers and all sense of time is lost and they immediately know they are meant for each other. Catches Johns chin to hold him still, careful of his claws. He has to go up on his toes a little bit, and anchor himself on Johns shoulder. But his will not be dissuaded

Kiss that boy!

John was a little confused until Karkat put a hand on his shoulder, suddenly he knew exactly what he was going to do, his heart raced, it had been a few years since he'd kissed anyone, let alone a guy, what if it was totally different? what if he stuffed up somehow? his brain raced up until their lips touched

He tries to keep it simple, firm but soft, romantic as he can manage considering most of his practice was done on a pillow. But will not deepen it. Must leave that up to John, leaving him free to reciprocate or pull away as he feels it.

John had to admit he liked the kiss, it was soft and sweet and a bit intense, he put his hands on Karkats shoulders, taking his mouth from his, a blush on his face, he tried to think about his feelings towards Karkat, but everything seemed confusing "uh...I..think I need to do it again...I'm..still not sure"

At first Karkat has a flash of worry twist his face for a moment, but as he spoke it vanished in a heartbeat. "If that's what you need, but bend over a little, you're freakishly tall" With his heels on the ground he can wrap his arms loosely around John to welcome him in.

John nodded, his hands gripped softly on Karkats shoulders, he leant over so he could kiss him again, this kiss was a little less hesitant

Karkat kissed back so sweetly, letting his arms tighten around the boy a little to press just a smidge closer to his chest. Hoped John cant feel his bloodpusher trying to hammer a hole through his chitinous thoracic retention.

John made a soft noise in his throat, yeah, he was sure that he was liking this, Karkat was warm against his front, his heart racing, he pulled out of the kiss, burying his face into Karkats neck to hide his blush, he wrapped his arms around him "if....we're gonna date you have to know I haven't dated another guy before...and not that many girls...I'll probably be laughably bad..."

A little out of breath, Johns scent! it's all around him, heady and thick, its making him a little dizzy. "That's ok, I've never dated an alien before, but I am a master of all things romance. I ought to be able to make up for a little of your grubfisted fumbling"

"oh geez, I forgot about the alien thing as well" he held a little tighter, Karkat had a really nice scent he noted, he made himself more comfortable in the curve of his shoulder, "just tell me if I do something really stupid alright?" he was smiling a little

"That's what I'm good at." He snuggled into Johns arms like he always belonged there. A perfect fit made just for John. Feels like he could die of happiness on the spot. Like he's found something he's been searching his whole life for. He's rather puzzled at this overwhelming and extreme reaction he's having to what should be a somewhat awkward agreement to just try dating a little. In fact he's so preoccupied, not to mention recently unwound by his moirail, that it just kind of... slips out.

John may find it a little puzzling when the troll he's holding vibrates a bit deep inside. Making a funny sound almost like a... purr. It only lasts a brief moment, but it's impossible to miss.

John made a pleased noise in his throat hearing the purr, although it only lasted a second, he lifts his head up, looking at Karkat "that was a purr right? it was really cute" he said with a smile, he knew that Karkat was cute before, it was hard to wrap his head around it that he was his boyfriend now, but honestly, he couldn't be happier

"I do not fucking purr!!" Its not helping his case that he's managing to turn an impressively bright shade of red considering the thickness of his skin "It was a... An accepting growl!"

"heh, if you say so, it was a cute sound whatever it was" he smiled shyly, pulling him into a hug "you're really cute"

Scowls as he snuggles and hides his blush in Johns shirt "this is vengeance for comparing you to a hopbeast isn't it? What do humans usually do after this part?"

"um...what do you wanna do?" he asked "cause I haven't dated anyone for a while, and you're Mr. Romance after all"

"Well" He loosens his arms, backing up a bit "Just trying to be cautious. But we could do something later on if you want. See if I can find out more about you than John-human-who-is-generous-and-soft-to-an-idiotic-degree"

"oh that could be fun, we could ask each other questions and stuff" that would be a fun way to get to know each other "what do you wanna do until then? I was on my way to have a shower before you called me in here" he joked

Huh, weird. I mean not to say that matesprits don't bathe together, but he didn't really think they were to that stage yet. Unless its some sort of human tradition. Definitely doesn't want to mess this up now. "Are you actually implying you want me to come with you to the abl...bath-room?"

"oh, no no, I didn't mean it like that! I though you wanted to do something else for a while and talk later!" John was so stupid, how did he actually say that and not notice that he was an absolute idiot "oh god I'm stupid"

Snorts "Gamzee is my moirail, I have been vaccinated against stupid with the biggest fucking clinical tool on the market. right in the shame globes no less. Go wash off your personal shame so I can steal more of your clothes and actually eat something"

"oh yeah, you didn't come out for breakfast did you? and why are you stealing my clothes? I'll need some to wear after I'm clean"

"Kan still has to make us blend-in clothes. Your normal clothes look like elaborate wiggler stuff with no armour or weapons in them. Or if you prefer I could go back to the towel look"

"I really doubt that you wanna walk around in a towel, and you can borrow some of my clothes, I forgot that you guys didn't have anything to wear" he blushed a little as the towel incident was brought up

"Okay" An awkward moment as he's not sure what next to say. But damn he knows what else he wants to do.. Screw it! He pushes John back to plant one more kiss on that boy, something a little deeper but quicker to try taking his breath away. "Get going already"

John looked a little dazed, "that's not fair" he put his hand to the back of Karkats neck, pulling him into another kiss, he laughed a little as he pulled away "ok, I'll go now"

Will wait until John is out of the room before breaking out in the the biggest goofiest smile he can no longer repress, falling back onto his pile, and immediately wishing it was deeper because that was mostly floor. Ah fuckit too happy to care!

John grinned all the way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him, leaning on it, wow, his heart was still racing, it almost seemed like he was going to wake up and it be a dream, he started up the shower, getting in after he undressed, he really couldn't wait to see how this went

Karkat will wander to the kitchen, scowl safely in place, but it's a little to exaggerated to hide the smile. To be honest is a little oblivious to the world right now since all the irrelevant things in the world seem to be swathed in a soft cotton candy blue. In other words, everything but John

Gamzee and Tavros had been playing the pokemon game, although Gamzee was just watching now, Karkat walked past, almost jittering, the faintest smile on his face "you're in a good mood bro" he commented from the floor.

John really wanted to know everything about Karkat, despite feeling like he'd known him forever he didn't know a whole lot about him

"Fuck off you gaping abyss of intellect. Like a fucking black hole where nary a comprehensible thought can wriggle free of the loving slimy tentacle rape of the event horizon." Seems to be addressing the wall as he locates the fridge.

Tavros gapes, not sure he's ever seen Karkat in a good mood. Not really sure that -is- A good mood. Whispers to Gamzee "are you sure? how can you tell?"

Gamzee shrugged "he was smiling behind that frown o' his" he whispered to Tavros "what type of food you looking for Karkat?"

Not to mention his insults are waxing poetically elaborate while completely unnecessary. Honestly he's just slinging them around for the excuse to put nice words together. Was busy trying to divide his attention between thoughts of John and the image of Gamzees hair as tentacles "Type of wha...?" Blinks down. Oh yeah he's in the food block "Dunno."

"I think that John left some of the pancakes in the thermal hull" Gamzee chuckled a little, it was unlike Karkat to be so cheerful in public, obviously something good had happened, had he got his code working or something?

Johns pancakes? perfect! doesn't care one bit how cold they are. As far as he's concerned they are the best thing he's ever tasted. Completely oblivious as to all the attention he's gathering.

"you know where all the toppings are brother? can you even reach them up in the food storage unit?" he teased lightly

Karkat shouted something at him, something typically poetic and insulting, but difficult to make out through the mouthful of pancake. At least till he swallows at the end. Now Gamzee will never know what it is he needs stuffed up his nook and waste-chute and corked in with his abnormally long left and right legs respectively nor why said stuffing would invariably claw its way up his protein cute out of disgust for his body, but the extended trip would take nigh a week.

Gamzee just laughed through the tirade, Karkat was hilarious, he could never get tired of listening to him "don't choke talking with food in your mouth" he warned, leaning against Tavros

Flips him off, a rude two-handed gesture, both cheeks stuffed full like a disgruntled chipmunk. Even Tavros has to laugh at that one, hiding his face in Gamzees hair.

Gamzee rolled his eyes, stifling laughter "so, are you gonna up and tell me what's got you walking on moonlight? or do I have to pap it out of you?"

He swallowed, looking away rather ashamedly. "I'm not doing any such thing. you keep your filthy rumour-sphincter shut. Anyway... I'm going out with John later so you ass holes are gonna have to keep yourselves out of trouble for a while"

Gamzee's eyebrows raised slowly, pretty obvious on his face without his make-up on, he had a decent idea what had happened now "well, good luck with what's happening then bro, I hope you're gonna have a bitch-tits time, you gotta fill me in on details later"

"Shit I need clothes!" as though suddenly remembering such a minor detail of life he jams the rest of the cold pancake in his mouth and leaps out of the kitchen. Despite his reservations he plans to use one of his own shirts under a jacket of Johns. he just feels strange going out with no armour at all. But after that what will look good? what do humans even like?

John had finished his bath with little problem, he had sat and squirmed for a while at how it had felt kissing Karkat, how was he supposed to face him? he had shaken his hair, washing himself quickly, after getting out he dried himself, patting his hair into the right shape, not bothering to brush it, he had once again forgotten to bring clean clothes, he had to start doing this now that he lived with other people, he put his old clothes back on, heading for his room

Karkat will baulk at the closed door, at least having the decency to knock first lest John be done already

"come in!" John had just finished getting into clean clothes, he tossed his dirty clothes into a basket that Rose had provided for dirty clothes

"Hey. I need something to wear." At least he's dressed this time

John nodded "look in the cupboard for something to wear" making a gesture, he fidgeted a little, he really had no idea how to act

will look, but being watched makes him nervous. He forgets to even bother trying to match anything or pick something nice, he just grabs the first pair of jeans and jacket he sees. The best he manages is to grab a hat as an afterthought before trying to run out of there with a mumbled thanks

John let out a breath, he had to try and relax around Karkat, seeing as they were...boyfriends...? he didn't even know, he left his room

Karkat will try not to think about how 'smooth' he's being, just concentrates on his woefully mismatched outfit. Why do humans need to wear colours other than black? He will have a bit of struggle with the pants, which are a little long even on John, forcing him to roll them up. At least it's not as bad as when he has to borrow Gamzees clothes, he looks like he's 6 sweeps old wearing those. Will give himself one last nervous adjustment before slipping out.

At least Johns clothes match a little better, he's wearing his Ghost Slime shirt and jeans, he was going to wear shorts, but he lived in a colder place now and jeans were a better idea.

When he caught sight of Karkat he had to smile, his pants were rolled up, it was pretty cute

Karkat had to struggle not to scowl "What?" Daring him to say anything about his height

"oh, nothing, you, uh, just look cute is all" he said awkwardly, he hoped it wasn't insulting to call a guy cute

cringes a little bit, Why must people call him cute or adorable when he is obviously a dashing killing machine? But will let it pass this time. "Uh yeah. You look ok too"

Only ok? damn, John must look like a huge dork or something "so um, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk or something? its actually pretty sunny outside?" taking a walk would be a pretty good way to get to know one another, they had planned to do something earlier, but it was never set in stone what

Yay, Just what he's always wanted to do, take a walk in the horrible scorching sun through a dangerous wilderness crawling with god knows what kind of wild beasts... With John "Sounds nice." He nods

John nodded "we could walk down the river, that way we can find our way back easy, Rose seriously lives in the middle of nowhere and I don't feel like getting lost in the woods"

"I doubt we'd get lost anyway". eaten maybe, fried probably, but lost? nothing so mundane.

"you never know" he said "anyway, lets head off, you've got your shades right?"

He produces them from his pocket "I'll travel your wilds with you but damned if I'm going to trust your sun. I had a friend go blind that way."

"oh wow, that's awful! is she...ok?" of course she wasn't ok! she was blind! jeez you're an idiot John, they head outside, it was a little chilly, but the sun was shining

Seems unphased by the rude question. Follows, shoving the shades on his face "Yeah, she learned to see with her nose and grew up to be a legislacerator. And an important lesson for me, never break up with a lawer."

John let out a short laugh "that sounds like an interesting story, she sounds pretty awesome, though seeing with your nose is kinda weird", it wasn't long before they were walking alongside the river that powered the generator under Roses house

"She turned me in to the culling squad!" though it was many sweeps ago, and she did also help them get away, he still takes offence to the initial gesture. "But yeah she was pretty weird... and pretty fucking awesome." She totally broke up with him.

"oh, wow damn, she sounds scary" he nodded to himself "I had a couple nasty rumours started about me in highschool, nothing that was gonna get me killed, but some of it made me want to be dead" he was way over it now

He raised an eyebrow. "Who did that? What did they say about you?" Just let them try it now.

"oh, just stupid stuff, it doesn't matter now, I haven't seen anyone from there since then" he waved a hand dismissively

"Couldn't be that stupid if you wanted to be dead over it." Frowns. Doesn't like the sound of this. No one with eyes like his should have any kind of hate for himself. Wait... Eyes? What does that have to do with anything? Shut up Karkat damn it!

"geez, I'll tell you if you /really/ wanna know"

"So tell me. Or do I have to get my sickles and carve it out of you?"

"ha, well, I..wasn't like the other guys at my school, so they started up all these rumours that I was gay, which everyone thinks is some sort of...horrible, embarrassing, disgusting to be, I didn't mind too much at the start, I figured if I ignored it, it'd go away? but then some of the guys pulled this...prank and completely ruined everything, no-one would talk to me, or be near me, calling me names and what not, it was...a pretty bad time" the memories weren't pleasant to revisit

"What kind of prank?" Gay, what was that again? It sounds vaguely familiar.

"oh, they pulled this elaborate thing to get pictures of me performing a sexual act on another guy, or at least looking like I was" he explained "I know that you guys don't have gay or straight, but, at the age that we were, it was seen as being the worst sort of person"

"Wait. That's what gay is? Your human gender hangups?? That's what people attacked you for? That's why you wanted to die? Tha.. just... FUCK. Fuck that. I hope someone had the good sense to force feed those assholes with their own entrails for the good of the genepool." Looks as though he's itching to do the job himself right then and there

"well, no, they got away with it, the teachers were pretty fucking stupid, but as soon as I got out of school I moved far away so I wouldn't have to put up with that shit any more, but really Karkat, its alright now" he gave him a reassuring smile, grabbing his hand

Quite literally vibrating with rage but lets John take his hand, trying to relax... trying "Its just hoofbeast shit... Is that part of why you were upset, by what I said?"

John shook his head "a lot of it, at least at the start, was because I thought I did something wrong, but after I talked to Tavros and found out that it was a romantic thing, I had a talk to Rose, and she helped me think about it properly, I..don't have anything against dating a guy, other then feeling like I'm going to fuck up royally"

"And if some human polyp starts that old shit up again?" Apart from hopefully looking the other way as Karkat culls him

John thought about it for a moment "well...I'd probably just try and ignore it" he said, he didn't really like the idea of being hated, but his dad had always told him to ignore people who say cruel stuff

Growls before he can stop himself, but he and John don't need to get into another fight over self defence so he swallows the noise carefully "well... you said no-one gets attacked or culled over this sort of thing, right?"

John cringed a little, he couldn't lie to Karkat about it, despite his growling, he squeezed his hand a little in preparation "well...not...exactly, its rare, and its pretty illegal to attack or kill someone, but...in some places people do get attacked for being gay"

that does not help the growling one bit. At this point decides it's better not to say a single one of the things bouncing around his head. But his silence is difficult to keep in the face of such delightful news. Has to resort to holding his breath to keep it, and squeezing Johns hand perhaps a little too hard

John winced "oh, ow ow, Karkat, loosen up"

"Fuck!" The growling just doubles and he lets go reflexively. Are humans really so fragile? Did he break something?

he flexed his fingers, they seemed ok "look, Karkat, you need to calm down a little, I know it seems really bad, but it honestly isn't as bad as it looks"

He forces the growling to subside, clenching and unclenching his hands. "I just don't want anyone... regretting this." He doesn't want John regretting this, or being made unhappy, or being hurt, Fuck John wont even try to defend himself, how is he not supposed to worry? Oh yes, and being revealed as an alien during an attack. that would suck too.

"look...Karkat, I'm not going to regret anything, I..wouldn't have started dating you unless I was sure" he assured him "I'm not going to change my mind cause some jerks called me names or whatever" his voice was incredibly sincere

"That's not my biggest worry. Sorry.. maybe we better change the subject" Runs a hand through his hair in frustration, scolding himself for ruining the mood.

John nodded "that sounds like it'd be for the best" he thought for a moment "do you have any questions about earth or humans or something?"

"Too many to know where to start." Shuffles awkwardly "Do you have any about trolls?"

"oh geez, I have too many as well, um, how about....your favourite colour, oh wait, that's more about you rather then trolls in general, um what type of job would you have gotten if you stayed on your home planet? oh, if you don't wanna talk about it that's alright"

Almost smirks "When I was younger I was training to be a threshecutioner. That's kind of like a Cavalreaper but on foot and more badass. On the front lines, conquering new worlds. I still use the sickles."

"oh, that's cool, you'll have to show me the sickles one time, my friend Dave is really talented with katana, and Jade is always talking about how she goes hunting and stuff"

"If you think I'm wandering off into a beast-infested woods without them you're beyond hope" will produce them and offer him one. "I could teach you how to use them if you want, really show your friends something."

he turned the sickle over in his hand, admiring the coloured blade "oh, no way, I'd probably cut all my fingers off on the first day, if I ever learned to use a weapon it'd have to be something blunt" he wasn't a clumsy guy, he was actually pretty dexterous and could play the piano expertly

"Gamzee could teach you that, he can use clubs and hammers pretty well, if you can get him to remember." not going to give up dammit, will feel much better if John can defend himself.

"oh, hammers would be pretty cool, I had these dreams where I used a hammer as a weapon, it was pretty amazing" he passed the sickle back to Karkat with a smile

He stashes it, inside gloating in victory. "I'll bring it up to him. What is it you do anyway? or I guess are planing to do since you moved."

"ah, well I've mentioned to you that I play music, the piano especially, my job hasn't changed a whole lot, I make music and sell it, or have people contact me about making them a song, its...pretty sporadic, but I really enjoy doing it"

"Can I hear your music sometime?" Not a common job of pride among trolls, the only thing that really keeps the music industry going any more is the movie industry.

John nodded "yeah, that'd be awesome, I usually play mostly classical music" he smiled, he noticed that the sky had become overcast, it was a little foreboding

He edged closer to John, daring to even shy his shades off a bit, pleased it was dark enough to bear. Much more pleasant. "What do you think I should do now? there ought to be some human job a troll can do."


End file.
